Help I hate my brother in law!!

Your brother-in-law could be jealous of you. Jealous in the sense that your husband spends more time with you than him. Did they do alot of things together before you married your husband?

I have a sister-in-law who is rude, crude and dirty. I don't spend time with her at all. My husband doesn't complain because he feels the same about her. My husband isn't close with his brother because they are so different and have different life styles. I wouldn't object if they wanted to do things together but don't drag me along to mingle with his wife. No way! I'd rather spend time with our kids and grandkids.

My husband sticks up for me over his brother, mother, or anyone else for that matter. He says he chose me he didnt chose them. I wonder if he is jealous of you and your husband. Do you think that could be it? Talk to your hubby see what he thinks about not going. Tell him how you feel and tell him why. Tell him you will go but the first rude remark out of his mouth you are leaving. Did you ever stop to think that his brother may just be a rude and sarcastic person? Some people are just like that and sometimes do not even know they are offending someone by the things they say.

My husband is like this with his whole family. But I don't think it's really fair for you to keep your husband from going to the BBQ just because you choose not to go. Maybe if you continue to let your husband spend time with his brother without getting upset, your brother-in-law will come to realize he has no reason to not like you. Even though I don't like my husband's family, I would never keep him from spending time with them if he wants to, because I don't want him to resent me in the end or to think that I'm trying to tear him away from his family.

No I'm sorry I can not explain it but you're right on the money when you ask why men are unable to stick up for their wives. I remember one time my husbands sister came to the house and she was so rude to me. She told me she has to smoke and she was going to have a cigarette. My husband sat on his a?? on the couch and never said a blasted word. I reminded her we no longer smoke and I will not tolerate anyone else smoking in our house and I told her point blank she would have to take it outside or go sit in her car. She went flying out the door slamming the door nearly hard enough to shake the place and she left. I told my husband right then and there that if any one of my family members came in here and talked to me the way she talked to me they'd have got told to leave and because he was not able to stand up to his sister she didn't need to ever darken my door step again because I'd tell her. That was the end to that. She's just a wicked witch, swindler and several other things I won't go into.

hi Caroll my hubby falls in the same traps here and there with his one older sister. She is a liar and a drama queen of the worst kind and when we both see her phone no on the display you bet we dont answer the phone most of the time.
I havnt spoken to her for four years, as long as we are married except a polite hi when we met at my MIL 70th bday.
Hubby sometimes has to answer the phone cause if he doesnt then she will complain about him resp. us everywhere and all the time and no one needs that. But he clearly tells me what he thinks of her. lol.
I think men are in general not good at defending their wives plus maybe your husband is like mine in this matter. He prefers false freedom and doesnt want to rock the boat even more than it is already. We can call ourselves lucky that there are no problems with my MIL right now and she keeps being nice to hubs and me.

Hi Caroll30,I would suggest you that let your husband go, and even if you attend bbq with your husband just ignore your brother in law. Whatever may be the reason that your brother in law hates you, you just try to explain your husband why you hate your brother in law he may understand you.

hello caroll30,
maybe your brother-in-law does not hate you really. he can't accept that his brother will have a lesser time to him anymore since he got married already. maybe, he miss the times, that they have a lot of times together.
just give him time, maybe your relationship will change soon enough that he'll realize that his brother is no longer single.

I guess there is something personal on it why he hated you. I think you must ask him though you also hate him but can you take that gap and hatred forever? Think of it and find time to talk to him and clear things between you and your brother in law.

See, In this kind of situation you just ignore all the stuff and try to live cool first u sit alone and think whats is the problem and try to avoid sometime may be you compromise and some time your family but you try to handle the situation very softly don't be hyper its dangerous to your relationship.

hi caroll30 Why do not you turn this around and think about your relationship with your own brother or sister, would you want your husband to insinuate that he hated your brother or sister? I know you dislike the brother in law,okay but blood is still thicker than water and your hubby really would be hard put to just turn his back on his own brother,they did grow up together after all, I can see men sticking up for their brothers even if they dont really stay close. maybe it is not right in your eyes but they are brothers. maybe brother in law is jealous, at any event let your husband go alone if you don't want to go,just don't make this tubby disliked bro in law a bone of contention between you. Why dont you want your hubby to go without you,you were invited,And you refused,what ishe supposed to do, grow up a bit,and just a moment do you hate all overweight people, maybe you are not completely blameless in this dislike between you and fat bro in law.if he were thin would you be so grossed out? you know fat people can sometimes be nice people. I would never have interfered with my own hubby and his brothers, and I did not like one of them either but they were his family.