counting my blessings

I personally believe it's usually the parenting.. but that's just my opinion. I think some parents would prefer to take the easy way out and give in to the child. Even if it's only on occasion, the child already knows that if pushed far enough, the parent will give in and the child will get their way. Some parents would just rather end the conflict as easily as possible, so they give the child what they want... which creates a bit of a monster!

I can only say that it is probably a bit of both parenting (or lack of correct parenting) and autism. I have a son who had learning disabilities - quite severe - and he is a man now. Married and the father of a four year old. My GS does not have learning disabilities.

It was very difficult because he was so frustrated at that time especially as his younger brother was excelling in all fields and in addition was taller than him. He began to talk about death and dying and I went into panic mode. It was a bit of a nightmare for us and we did get him a total evaluation, educational, social, psychological and neural plus counselling. We went as a family. I know that his siblings will always look out for him in life and this is important to me.

It must be so difficult for the parents to deal with an what is worrying me is that the mother appeared to be scared. I am sure he sensed this on some level and this is cause for concern as I believe whatever difficulty the child may have the parents should always be in control.

I don't have answers. My gut tells me that your husband did the correct thing and I am glad that your son does not have autism this badly. Thank God.

We know that autism differs greatly in different children, in different situations.

Over the years I have known and worked with a few autistic children. One who is quite severely affected medically speaking was one of the easiest to work with and I believe this is because he had a mother who would not tolerate bad behaviour, but gave oodles and oodles of love and attention for "normal" behaviour.

As you know, the autistic child has great problems in actually receiving communication and therefore in understanding. All information has to be given one by one item and understood before another can be given. Some mothers seem to be incapable of handling this. They rattle orders off like a machine gun and wonder why there is no response.

Yes, I believe Richard did the right thing and I believe you have both done the right thing with Cary. With these children there is a fine balance between developing independence and developing at best a spoiled brat who demands and gets his own way or a controlling monster.

You are achieving that balance with Cary and he is likely to grow into a fine young man who will lead a normal life and contribute to society.

U are very lucky that cary is not affected more than he is. I have a friend whose son has autism & they really have a time w/him. Heis such a big guy & his mom is just a little bitty thing that he has hurt her many times. It is so sad i am sure to have this happen. They wouldn't give in when he was young to get him the help that he needed & now that he is older nowhere will take him in to help him. He is such a handsome child. When i was working i cut his hair. I think i may have told u this before. I wish cary the very best.

hi Dawnald I do not know much about autism but I do have
'a hunch that your Cary is not so severely affected because
he had two parents who are calm and level headed. I think that
always helps any child that is emotionally upset no matter
what the cause. I know my little girl,this is years back,was'brain
damaged and she seldom had temper tantrums, but the one time she
did,I just did what your husband did,I held her and told her I would'not let go until she calmed down. well she actually went to sleep in my arms,the terrible twos and too much information flooding into her little brain that was not really able to comprehend it,we were told she would never develop beyond about three or four years.we only had her for 8 years.But I am like you,I think your husband did do the right thing.

For awhile last year I worked two days a week with an adult disabled young man who was severely autistic. I observed that people who were afraid of him also brought out the worst in him. I was not afraid of him, and I was one of the few people who tried to do sign language and communications boards with him. Autism is a communications disability, or so I have been told by a high school principal who had an autistic son. I think your husband did okay, if no one has complained. Yes, a child who is hungry, that is one who is having a blood sugar drop will have behaviors.

Well then, you really need to count your blessings. In the faith that I practice, the blessings of sight is so uncountable it took turning the whole sea into ink to count the blessings, and even that's not enough!

Hi Dawnald,

As a mother of two kids with autism i experienced the same too. They're upset if they can't get what they want and if they are pressured to do something that they don't want to do. What we used to do is hug our kids and give them massage from shoulder down to the arms and give a soft stroke on their back. While doing this we tried our best to talk to them and explain things that's unacceptable. They listen and hug us back.

WE may have two kids with autism (the youngest - 9 years old is mainstreamed just this year) but we are still lucky bacause they are not the severe as compared to other cases. My eldest (13 years old) has difficulty in uttering words or communicating but with all the interventions he's saying lots of words and can verbally communicate now. It's LOVE, SUPPORT AND PATIENCE that made them become what they are now.

See here is indeed very difficult subject!My friend's son is also autistic!
Will ot communicate with anyone,bad-tempered!
Is difficuit to imagine!But to take the right treatment!
They are to his son to communicate with the animals!
Love and puppy play!To see a pasychiatrst!Slowly feeling better!
Hope that God bless you!Amen!

Hi, dawnald, I am so worried about such a 7 years old boy after reviewed your story. yes, we all said one word "autism", but who know why a kid become autism. the main reason, personally, I think they all lacks a close parenting education. to be a father or mother. try to ask youself. How much time you take it into guiding a correct direction for your kids? How long you stay with them one day? Yes,In Modern society, parents are busy for work,business,relationship.etc. otherwise. how to do support a family without money. but in the meantime, we also need to take some time for our kids education. make them build a health,correct emotion and attitude in their heart. so if we do this homework for our kids, kids are willing to trust us and then they will share more things with us.