Have you ever had to make a hard decision like this?  |
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 Saturday I will be making a big move. My two younger kids and I will be moving 1200 miles back home. I say back home because we are going back to the state I grew up and they were born. My husband is driving us. I will be staying with a sister til I can get on my feet. I am leaving behind an eighteen year old son. My husband will be flying back. To me, this is a very hard decision and thing to do. I often wonder if it is the right thing to do leave my husband and teenage son behind. But than I look at the potential. right now my husband hours at work has been cut in half. So, my daughter and I have been going without our much needed medication and other stuff. To get food for the kids to eat. Once I move I can get help from family to get those again. Have you ever had to make such a hard decision like this? How did you handle it? Do you think my marriage can stay strong with a seperation like this? Or do you think it will affect it and end up in divorce?
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1.  dawnald (9560) | 2 months ago |  Nothing this tough, no. Good luck to you. I believe your marriage can survive if you are both committed to making it survive. And hopefully they will eventually be able to come and join you.
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 starsailover (890) | 2 months ago |  Hi dawnald: i agree with you. Your marriage can survive but you should think about the ways you both can have a "normal" husband and wife life in this new circonstances. A physical separation it's ok but what's not it's that distance separates you in your minds and hearts. Good luck. You both can work for your family.
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 rusty2rusty (4186) | 2 months ago | Thank you both. The hard part will be communication between us. | |
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| 2. starsailover (890) | 2 months ago | Hi rusty: the only thing i can tell you is that i wish you good luck because this is a hard decition and even if this is going to be for good i think it's a really difficult decition to be separated from the ones you love | |
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| rusty2rusty (4186) | 2 months ago | I am not sure if it is or good or a short time. Only time will tell. | |
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| 3. Fulltank (1066) | 2 months ago |  I think the hardest decision I made is getting married as it affects my entire life forever. Moving to from a bachelor life to a married life brings too many adjustments . Its not that I don't love my wife dearly, but when this decision was made, both of us had to be away for a week to really see if we are meant for each other and decided that its time for us to settle down. The verdict seems unanimous and now we are happy living together along with our kids.
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| rusty2rusty (4186) | 2 months ago | Ah, getting married is hard to do. I am on my second marriage. The longest we have been apart is 3 weeks at a time. So, this will definatly be a test. As we have been together for 14 years. | |
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| 4. ElusiveButterfly (9418) | 2 months ago |  Wow, you are really in a situation where you have few choices. I personally believe that if a marriage is strong that it can and will survive any circumstance. Too bad that your son and husband cannot be with you. Will they move to be near you eventually? Best of luck to all of you.
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| rusty2rusty (4186) | 2 months ago | I am not sure how things will trun out. Right now my teen has to fullfill the requirements by the court before he can even think of leaving the state. I am hoping he will still finish highschool with me far away. He doesn't want to leave because he has a girlfriend.
As for my husband, he says he hates Ohio and will never live there again. He swears there is no oppurtunities there. But in the last 4 years I have not seen any oppurtunities in Florida where we were living either.
So, I don't know what will happen. | |
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| ElusiveButterfly (9418) | 2 months ago | Time will tell. You are a strong woman who can rise above any problem. Keep the faith. | |
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| 5. dorannmwin (1870) | 2 months ago |  I personally have never had to make a decision like that, but if I were in the situation that you are in, then it would be the decision that I would make as well. My daughter's old babysitter and her husband did have to make a decision similar to your own (although the miles between them wasn't nearly as great). She went to live with her sister and he went to live with his son while they tried to get back on their feet after a job loss. They survived through it and are now able to live together again and they've only been married for a few years. I believe that despite the obstacles that yourself and your husband are going to have to face, you all will end up coming out of it stronger than ever.
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