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We want to have a baby but I dont think we can... email this discussion to a friend?

lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids2 months ago

Hello to all! I hope I get lots of helpful responses. My fiance and I have been anxiously trying to conceive since december of last year and we still have no results. I am beginning to think I am sterile and won't be able to have kids. Is this something I should worry about/get checked out even though Im only 20?

 
 
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tags:  baby, motherhood, body, marraige, foundation for baby
 
1. qpzmzjx (36)   2 months ago

it is better to go to a doctor,he could give you the answer.
not everyone was a doctor,and your narration may be not exact and detailed

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2. GoGirl149 (84)   2 months ago

It doesn't make sense to me.
Why not wait until after the wedding to try to have kids.
Are you afraid you'll lose him if you don't have his baby?


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

i can understand why it wouldn't make sense but I am not afraid I will lose him at all. I am just afraid that I will never have my own child (makes me feel like maybe less of woman in a way?) and this is the reason why we are still trying. But we will be married next spring/summer. So regardless of when, if we have a child it will be born after we are married.

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3. myLot reputation of 91/100. raynejasper (1041)   2 months ago

..hi.. I have a friend who are already married for two years and don't have a baby yet.. when they went to the doctor, the doctor found nothing wrong between the two.. The doctor just advised them to drink some vitamins and continue their effort to conceive.. For you, I would advice you to consult a physician.. Of course, consulting a physician won't mean that their is already something wrong.. The physician will help you find out what else you should do in order to conceive.. I even knew a teacher who conceive after ten years of marriage.. So don't lose hope.. Maybe it's not yet time.. and as I've said, you consult the expert or the physician regarding this matter.. The doctor knows what vitamins or supplements are fitted to both of you..


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

thanx so much--i feel a little less worried about it now. I will be visiting my ob/gyn very soon.

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4. myLot reputation of 99/100. xannebull (1389)   2 months ago

It's better for you to have been checked by your doctor, both of you so that as early as possible, you'll know if there's a problem about conceiving, and if there is, then it would be early for you to know so that you'll be taking medicines or something..there are many cases like yours, some of my friends took about 4 years after marriage before having a baby because some of them are just not too fertile to conceive a baby, either the guy has only small amount of sperm count.


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

makes sense. thanx 4 the advice!

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5. myLot reputation of 93/100. jodylee_04530 (546)   2 months ago

Perhaps the timing is just not right. Have you figured out when you ovulate? I would pay attention for a few more months, not miss a day of making love to your fiance and if after a few months there are no results I would head to the doctor to see if there is anything prohibiting you.

I do wonder though, why the rush? Why not wait until the marriage happens and you settle into that life? I don't necessarily thing you have to be married to have kids, I am just curious as to why you want to make it happen right now...


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

I do know my ovulation schedule/calendar but during the past 5-6 months my cycle has drastically changed. This is the main reason I believe there is a problem. Before the change, my cycle came on time and lasted for the same amount of days every month. Now it comes 30+ days later and is extremely heavy and painful. I plan to see my ob/gyn very soon about this itself. And about marriage, we have known each other since hs, have been exclusive 2 each other for about a year and a half and we live together so we practically are married without the license lol. But I am anxious to have my own child for reasons I don't even really know. I think mainly because I love children and I want my own to love. And the wedding is scheduled for next spring/summer.


myLot reputation of 93/100. jodylee_04530 (546)  2 months ago

Sounds like it would be a good idea to see the OB then. Glad you are planning to. Hopefully it will all work out for you. I am glad you and your fiance have found each other. I can understand the strange desire to have children. It is overwhelming and can take over the mind. Best of luck to you!


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

Thanks so much for your advice!

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6. sylviamak (42)   2 months ago

It is better to conceive after marriage as it will provide a more stable and secure for the baby. The marraige relationship will provide safe foundation for the arrival of baby. Think long term what kind of environment will be benefit for the growth of the baby. It is no need to be in a hurry to get baby at this stage. A good spousal relationship provides the best support ing environment for the growth of baby.


lhairston2007 (8)   ranked 660 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

i dont necessarily agree that a spousal relationship is the best environment for a baby to grown in--If the parents and child all live together and the parents have a good relationship but aren't married, what's really the difference except for a piece of paper?


sylviamak (42)  2 months ago

Marriage is a life long commitment for spouses to love and support one another in better and worse situation until the end of the day.
In my opinion, a loving and committed spousal relationship will provide a conducive environment for the baby.


myLot reputation of 58/100. apricotrains (410)  2 months ago

Marriage does not guarantee that the couple will stay together. What a stupid thing to say to someone. Stable?? Yeah cause my parents got married & lasted 5 years before dad was almost killing her in front of me...yeah marriage is the BEST thing to raise a child in?


myLot reputation of 95/100. kezabelle (2671)   ranked 147 out of 1,902 in have kids  2 months ago

Marriage does not automatically mean a stable enviroment for a child. speaking as a mother of two who is not married I can tell you a loving mother and father is what builds a stable enviroment divorce is simple is it not? you can never break the bond between two people who have a child together for me that is a much bigger commitment because me and their father will always have to be in each others lives to suport our childre. anyway we are getting married in april next year our children have a wonderfull stable life and have all their lives (they are 5 and 3) like I said a loving parent/parents is the most important thing marriage fails breaks down what ever as long as you love your child and support them thats all that matters.

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7. myLot reputation of 98/100. maximax8 (10753)   ranked 2 out of 1,902 in have kids   2 months ago

I know a lady that when she was twenty tried to get pregnant. My guess is stress stopped her getting pregnant. She finally got pregnant eight years later. She gave birth to identical twin boys. Sometimes a vacation is a great time to get pregnant. Some ladies have fertility treatment and then have a baby. I suggest you try to get pregnant for another year and then if it doesn't happen have a check up. Good luck and please be happy, then it will be more likely to happen. Good luck.

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8. myLot reputation of 97/100. jesssp (1265)   ranked 542 out of 1,902 in have kids   2 months ago

Definitely go to the doctor ASAP, especially if your cycle has changed drastically and is no longer normal. If there is something wrong with you then getting pregnant is not a good idea until the doctor gives you the all clear. Once you find out everything is OK then just take it one day at a time. You'll get pregnant when it's time, the more you stress about it then the less likely it is to happen.

It would be my preference to wait until after I was married, but that is totally a personal thing, I'm not judging you for wanting to get pregnant before. It's just that it would be much easier to plan a wedding and worry about all that stuff first than trying to do it while you're either preggers or freaking out about trying to get there. Having too many things to stress out about at once will just have negative affects on everything. Plus it's nice to walk down the aisle while you're still skinny and not suffering from morning sickness:)

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9. myLot reputation of 22/100. Apple3Cranberry (615)   1 month ago

well i have schizophrenia, so i guess i am not having a baby! lol. unless i happen to and raise it good. but actually i am quite frightened. i like my voices! they really keep me together, they are like a baby in itself!

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10. myLot reputation of 92/100. dorisday1971 (2126)   ranked 217 out of 1,902 in have kids   1 month ago

happyYou don't have to worry about it for you are still young. ... In my case, it took us four years of trying and I got pregnant at age 34. . I am happy and thankful that I was able to conceive even if I was no longer hoping.

Better go to the doctor and have yourself checked while it is still early. Good luck. happy

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