care system stinks and they dont care about the elderly. who agrees? uk

had a meet yesterday about my fathers care, he has dementia, the meet was with the nurse, occ therapist and sw. we all agreed that dad should not go home, all accept the sw. she said he could go home, when she has not even seen my dad and does not even know him, and just making judgements from scribbling in her pad. when the nurse and occ and us of course have spent time with him and know how he is. i think that sw just like to use any old excuse to shove them off home to get on with it so they dont have to bother with all the paperwork of placing them into residential care where they can be looked after properly. she then said to me that if i could not find out what benefits my dad was on, that we would have to foot the bill ourselves. and a few people i spoke to said thats not true and she was just trying to scare you into having him go back home again cause she cant be bothered. i mean, relatives have enough stress as it is and sw are supposed to be there to help, not scare people. i rang up to find out what benefits my dad is on and they cant tell me until i become an appointee. but even they said that the sw team can find out from them themselves if they wish but cause they know my dad has me, the sw team just pass the buck. its a really poor service i think, the way people are treated that need proper care and they dont seem to care about the relatives either. i live a long way from my dad as well and cant keep running back and forwards, its to much and i have health problems myself. i told her this, but felt she didnt seem bothered really. i told them this back in january but they said they would do it their way first. regardless of how i felt, i am but only the daughter, after all. the fact dad went missing from the hospital for 8 hours as well does not seem to count for nothing. i told sw last time that i could not cope but they just sent him home with a care package and the carer he has is not even much good to be honest. he left dads windows open and tv on when dad was taken to hospital. if we had not gone there the windows would have been left open for anyone to get in. i made a complaint but dont think it went anywhere. no one seems to care anymore about the elderly. they are left to just get on with it whatever. my dad is in the mid stages of dementia now and lives alone as well. the carer came 3 times a day and then was told he only came twice. then when he got there he didnt do much and dad was left sitting in dirty clothing. dad needs encouragement to change his clothes, its no good just asking him a yes no question. cause most certainly dad cant be bothered and will answer. do you want to change, no! the hospital have to say to him, you need to change your clothes. the carer didnt seem to bother. and he sat there reading a paper.