How to keep the "home fires burning"?  |
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 This discussion is for those who either are married, widowed or have been married. I mean "legally" married.
I think we all need to come together and share our "success stories" of marriage.
We all know it's a very difficult job at times and staying true to the vows can be difficult.
I'm not necessarily talking about adultry either. Just everything.
I'm in my 2nd(last ) marriage right now. We just celebrated 4 years in Sept. However, we were friends for 3 years before dating.
Statistics say finances and sexual issues are the 2 biggest causes of divorce.
For those of us fighting to stay with our spouse, no matter what...please share a story or experience that the rest of us can learn from...
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1.  raynejasper (1061) | 3 months ago |  ..this is a very good discussion.. I hope many married men and women will respond to this as I am just a year married and I do want to learn from other people's experiences.. At this time, I sometimes wonder if I had chosen the right guy for me.. As if I regret sometimes because of many factors that I don't want to disclose here.. There were also times when I told him to get out of the house because I can't stand the things he is doing.. you see, I'm a working mom and he is just staying at home baby sitting but he's not really baby sitting.. he's always asleep leaving our daughter playing alone.. however, I feel pity to my daughter, she's so young and innocent.. I don't want her to grow up without a father because I have seen many children who were brought up in a broken family and there is a lot difference from those children who were brought up in a complete family.. Also in our country, divorce is not allowed.. I really hope many people will be sharing here..
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| beautifulBrooke (76) | 3 months ago | raynejasper- your feelings at this point are very normal. IMO the first 2 years are extremely difficult as you both go through an adustment period. No length of courting can prepare you for marriage.
I'm curious and it may be none of "our" business here...but is your husband not working by choice or by circumstances?
Also, (not that I'm suggesting or promoting) but why is divorce not allowed? Is it religious views?
The one thing that would concern me about your post, is I did not hear you say you were in love w/ your husband. Are you?
Not trying to be judgemental, just trying to help.
Also, if you want to talk privately, see website on my profile and locate me there.
Blessings. | |
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| raynejasper (1061) | 3 months ago | ..i have posted a discussion regarding how to keep love in my situation.. maybe you could share something there.. You will also read my story there.. I chose to post it to gather more ideas and advice.. I'm really confused.. thank you.. | |
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| 2. jcooper342 (20) | 3 months ago |  My wonderful husband and I have been married for going on 25 beautiful years in May 2010. Everyday that we are together is another chapter in our lives and a blessing. Each day is new and exciting for us. There is a mate for everyone and I believe that God brought my husband into my life. The key to staying together is religion, communication and laughing. Without the Lord in your life, religion and tiding on a monthly basis, everything seems to fall apart. God must come first and then everything else will fall into place. You have to be able to communicate with each other. The worst thing two people can do is go to bed mad at each other. Marriage is a union between a man and woman and it is not something that can be thrown aside if it doesn't work. It has to be worked on a daily basis. Marriage is like planting a garden. It has to be tended to on a daily basis in order to grow. Don't Give Up!!!
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| beautifulBrooke (76) | 3 months ago | I could not agree with you more. I'm a firm believer that a marriage takes 3!
And the bible says, "don't let the sun go down on your wrath".
I will admit that is something we are bad about.
We are both soooooo stubborn, and I especially can carry a grudge. So when I get mad at him, I can go 4 or 5 days not speaking to him, sad thing is, at the time it doesn't bother me a bit.
I know that's sad, I just trying to be honest. | |
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3.  apricotrains (410) | 3 months ago |  I have now been married for 13 years. I love my husband more today than when we 1st met. I don't know what the secret is, I just know that when we took our vows it was something we both knew was for real. We take them seriously. We didn't get married thinking 'oh if this does not work out we can always get divorced'. Marriage is not going to last if that is a thought you have at any time. We take the phrase 'till death do you part' very seriously.
We only knew each other 1 whole month before we actually got married. It was love before we met (we met over the phone) & when we finally met 3 days later...we knew it was meant to be.
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| beautifulBrooke (76) | 3 months ago | Wow, what a neat love story. Talk about being meant to me...!
I agree with your theory of "divorce is not an option". I personally think way too many couples treat marriage like it's some sort of business arrangement that they can opt out of, if it doesn't work. And usually in the first 2 years it's not workign. Adjustment is soooo difficult. Especially if it's a blended family, which is common today. | |
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| apricotrains (410) | 3 months ago | We are a blended family. It was my son & I then we met my future husband:)
We have our days when we can't stand each other. Usually when one of us is in a bad mood & it seems to spread, but at the end of the day it's all good.
It's not easy, not all the time, but it's who & what we are that makes it work. | |
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| reddaschund58 (3) | 3 months ago | I have been married 31 years and my husband and I were together since our sophmore year of high school. Being married is a committment that few people take that seriously anymore. There are days that things go better than others but at the end of the day neither one of us would think of divorce ( murder,yes) just kidding. My point is, marriage is a life committment that we made and thankfully am happy with. Not everyone is lucky, even though every effort is made. It seems alot of people want an easy fix for everything, including marriage. If things get a little tough, it's easier to split up than to work things out.
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