Is it okay to be a mistress?

First of all the guy in question is not worth so much of love because he started the relationship with a lie. Marriage is not a small affair that can be harmlessly hidden to trap girls. Second who so ever has done the mistake, the blame sure is going to come to your friend.I don't know which country or society you belong to, but I am sure in any sort of society, falling in love with a married man is not a very pleasant thing.
I think she should be wise enough to end this as soon as possible. I am sure she can get a lot of nicer single guys to date.

I know she don't wanna be considered as a "home wrecker" for this but she really love the guy and can't afford to loose him. I support her for what she do because she's a dear friend to me. As long as she will not get hurt for what she is doing.

can't afford to lose him??? why the hell not? and for that matter, she doesnt have him..HE'S MARRIED..you can't lose what you dont have..

as long as SHE wont get hurt? Never mind anyone else liek the WIFE or possible kids etc..

I'm sorry but I think your friend needs to give her head a shake for starters..he most likely WILL NOT leave his wife..so she will always be second on his list...Him marrying her and them starting a family together later on etc..WILL NOT HAPPEN...so she is just wasting her time...AND being a homewrecker...

And you should give your head a shake! IF you were a solid friend you wouldnt support her in this..She is hurting herself, wasting her time and hurting others whove done nothing to deserve it...In the end she will get hurt..You support this? You support your friends behaviour? what if YOU were the wife? would you still support the behaviour? You want your friend to be happy? then dont you think getting her to find a man who IS available rather than one who is just using her would be better??

Depends why does this guy pursue your friend. A friend of mine once told me, a guy or girl usually cheats because there is something wrong with the marriage. Try to talk to your friend. Tell her the consequences of her actions and ask her if she is ready with it. Being a mistress is a great decision she has to make. Tell her what you feel but please do not condemn her. It's the least thing she would be needing right now...

Oh, that man is not worth the dirt he is standing on. Forget him. He lied about his marriage, he abandoned his wife. Who knows, may be he would do the same to her as he did to his wife!

In my opinion, it's best to advice your friend to leave the guy, because being involved with a married person is just going to bring more heartbreaks. Even if the married guy chooses your friend, it would be very terrible for the wife of 9 years to bear with. Try to put her plight as the wife and try to coax her into leaving the guy. But anyway, if she persists to remain with the guy, then there's no choice but you have done your best.

Well I feel the girl should not live a life of a mistress, why love a married guy when she knows he is already married, she has a big life ahead of her, if possible she should go back to her previous boyfriend if he is ready to listen to her and she should discuss the entire matter with her previous boyfriend.... I would not recomend she stay as this mans mistress...

I have no trouble with this answer. In my experience and I have personally felt that pain.. 'cheating'( and that is what it is called if you are in a relationship with one and decide to have another relationship at the same time).

Although it is not criminal, it is indeed a cruel thing for those innocent who are being betrayed. There is a deal of immaturity and insecurity involved but the real agony plays out in anger, hatred, and grief,,regret and distrust when the whole story is discovered!

The situation happens all the time and he/she says all kind of things to keep you there, but the truth is, he/she is a liar, and if one is a liar about something so precious and sensitive, what else will they lie about???

She need to get out of this situation, no questions.. A good thing to bear in mine.. if She and He HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON OTHER PEOPLE.. and they did, she also.. then it is only a matter of time.. yes.. and they will never ever have complete trust in each other because life has problems and troubled times and people do what they do.... once bitten, twice shy!!

Being a mistress is never okay though many think it is but sooner of later when they come to their senses, they will realize that it is not okay. I don't think nobody will have a normal life as a home maker or a good wife being a minor wife.
That being said, there are some women I know who are willing to be a mistress for financial security alone. The man provides everything from giving a house to live and provide every neccesity. So they can say it is okay. But she can not get away from the fact that she is a "home wrecker" living with a family man.

For many reasons, I'm sorry to say that it's not okay. If I were you, I'll frankly tell her to be strong and get out of the situation where she is now. It's easier said than done, but doing the right thing is the best thing for her and also for the guy and his family. She'll end up getting hurt doing the right thing, but I'm sure she'll get hurt even much worse if she'll not act now. The guy is married, and no matter how he tells her he loves her, that won't matter anymore nor even change anything because someone owns him already. I know you're scared to hurt her because she's your friend, but could you take it if she'll be hurt much worse later on? I think you can talk to her in a nice way and explain to her. She is blinded by this guy because she loves him. I think that's where they get the notion "Love is blind", but have you heard this saying, "Love is not blind, but it is us who makes it blind."? If she tells you she's happy in her situation, well, not all "happy situations" are right.. and this won't do any good for her.

I don't think so, it is not feel alright being the second peddler. although, lot of women fall to the same category as your friend have experience as some men bewitch them or they are just try to be so kind and plain stupid. She could be only feel free if the man divorce her wife, if not her relationship fall in perils because she keep hiding and could not go into public to be proud of her status. I think she need to find a single man available who would not fool her and treat her with respect.