Why do People Marry and Quarrel after?

Oh, I could write pages on this subject! For one thing before marriage you are in what is called the honeymoon phase. You are being the best person you can be to make that other person happy and keeping everything nice and velvety smooth. Then you get married and reality strikes! That other person that was being so sweet and kind becomes this horrible person. The one thing happens in so many cases is that people jump into marriage before they really know the other person. You need to wait. You need to give the relationship time to float down and land where it is going to be. If you just are patient and let both people become who they really are then you can see if this other person is the one for you. The honeymoon phase has taken alot people by surprise and made them do things too quickly. Giving a relationship some time can only make it either last or disolve. If more people would wait and not jump into marriage there would not be so many divorces.

New things shines and when you start using it the shine starts to fade away...but when polish it will start to shine again.....and it goes on like this...but once you give up cleaning it or polishing it...it will get damaged and finally break up into pieces.. ....So this is the way it is and it will be like that....

I think it has to do more with inability to communicate effectively without attack or for lack of wanting to about such topics as: what one really likes, needs, wants, in life and from the partner..
It could mean any number of things,, treatment of each other, sexual satisfaction, chores, children, the money spending, finding time together, keeping secrets, trouble with the other's family, poor job situation or financial problems, immaturity, infidelity,

in general a lack of satisfaction in the relationship or in each other and a lack of respect as well.
When people don't think through what is troubling them and why, then they take it out on the nearest and dearest. Sometimes they have no choice because, in fact, it IS that person who is causing the tension, or is thought to be.

It is easy to be blinded by the beauty of a gorgeous woman who sees only you and treats you like a king.. but, in my personal experience, it is AWFULLY hard when you marry because there is a child on the way, and therefore it is forced and one of you is not ready for commitment and wanders.. No matter what happens then, nothing seems to sit right and even a counselor may not be able to help, especially when not BOTH are willing to go.

I think there is a normal amount of disagreement with couples.. but it isn't the kind I am talking or thinking about,, THAT kind s uncomfortable for guests as well as family and the kids.. that's is not so good a all.

sometimes quarrel starts when you get married with someone you really dont know. my mother said that you will not completely know someone unless you live with them in one roof. then once they get married they will know the real traits of their partner. some are very ugly traits and some are very not impressing traits. some people loves their partner more after marriage and some people change love to annoy once they know that person more dipper. me and my wife still have misunderstandings for we are not perfect but i guess we dont quarrel. quarrel are for people who are fed up already.

people marries bcoz they think theyre ready for marriage life and they in love with eachother ....and after living in marriage life the problem starts to come in ...expenses at home...personal expenses...having kids...so another added for expenses....kids goes to school...when get sick...relatives ask help and unexpected other expenses.....that the couple need to adjust and starts with the problems...when problesm came in that starts with the couple quarrel..!!!

It happens when the couple has not taken the time to get to know each other deeply and to ask important questions. I was watching Dr Phil the other week and he talked about this very thing. He had couples on the show that were experiencing conflict in regards to major life decisions like whether or not to have children for example. You would think that you would discuss issues like that with a prospective spouse but it is amazing how many just presume the other party is on the same page as them, only to marry and learn otherwise!

One other reason is that the ‘walking into walls all is rosy’ phase of falling in love is temporary and eventually people are left with everyday life and a very human and imperfect partner; I guess in many cases that may happen around the time they have walked down the isle.

maybe the dont know each other's real colors when they are not yet married, sometimes all the true colors or attitude of a person comes out after marriage and leading to conflicts...

Maybe we did this all wrong. We had quarrels before we got married as well. In fact, I think we both knew there were going to be rough times ahead. Loving someone certainly doesn't mean that you agree with them all the time. How boring would that be?

Not that I am advocating quarreling, but those who never disagree have no room to improve and grow. I also believe there is a sense of entitlement with marriage. I know that I felt this way. When things get rough I say "didn't you say you would be here for the good and the bad~ well this may be as good as it every gets~ so adjust."

I think not quarreling is typically a sign of not caring enough to be real about feelings.

(Sorry folks, I seem to be on one today.)

different people may have different reasons to quarrel .before marrage we can only see the advantage of the partner and after living together we see the truth.we should build an opinion that quarrel is not for life and it is part of it.to sovle the problem we can shift the topic of life like making a goal for both.

Marriage is not really a perfect partnership. Every now and then one would find conflict from their partners. I think that is a natural thing to happen since from time to time there are things that partners don't agree upon. But when a couple does love each other this conflicts are most of the time resolve. In some cases this results to irreconcilable conflict then separation happens.

But this should not discourage one from engaging into marriage. The only thing that one should be aware of that engaging into it should expect that one of these days each of the partner will encounter conflicts along the way. One just needs to realize that the marriage would end up in love and that's all.