being dumped

i have been dumped before, but i was only in the relationshop for a very short time so i wasn't that bothered because i had not had time to get feelings for this person, but when i was married, my ex was cheating and betrayed me in the worst possible way, he rejected me and our kids which destroyed me for a while, but i saw him as a weak selfish shallow existance which gave me strength to move on, he lost the best thing that ever happened to him, so when he begged me to come back, i gave him the 2 fingers and told him to divorce me, at least he did something constructive for once in his sad little life, i always believe that when one door closes, another one opens, and that's so true because after i left, my life changed for the better, so i will say (grudgingly) thankyou to this half wit, because my life got better and better once i got away from him and his got worse...LOL....

I have heard it said that these things happen so we can learn from them and move on. I can honestly say that I have learned the majority of my lessons the hardest way possible! Good to heat that you got away from the jerk and your life is better for it, good on you!

i think you have answered this for yourself faery, the silence, that says it all, he has not given you an answer or tolf you to "bleep" off because he's weak, he cannot man up and tell you to your face, so that speaks volumes to me, i know it's hard but only you can map out your future, this man is not giving you his time, and is wasting your time, pluck up the strength and just try and forget all about him, if he "drops you a line" drop one back and tell him to "bleep" off, see how he likes it....give him the silence....

Your right Tatty I usually find the answers I seek within myself just need to apply the knowledge and do so.Which I intend to do.I was a bit morose when I commented usual I ponder things late at night but I will follow your advise and move on to brighter pastures!x

Where is my head at sorry I used the wrong name I confused your name with someone else I think I have been gone from mylot to long I keep mixing things up.

oh it's fine faery people still call me tatty, i don't mind, yeah focussing on other things does help, it takes time but there is light at the other end, so i hope you can see that light sooner than later, i am sure you will...

LOL...Gheeez I am more flighty today then usual and in better spirits I am determined to move on and just focus on other things life is too short to be wasted I keep bumbling today so I am starting to be myself again,lol!

i used to go back to my ex's when i was younger in the hope that we would stay together but it never worked, i was wasting my time, now i think...what the heck, you didn't want me before so just go away and leave me alone, if this was the ase now i would be pointing him to the door, i would never get back with someone who dumped me, i woulsn't be able to trust them again...

i am with you on this moon, i used to do the same in the hope that things changed but they never did, it was a never ending circle, as you know i have been in and out of a relationship for many years and i just kept forgiving him in the hope that it would be different but it wasn't, i was wasting my time, i was losing out on the opportunity of meeting someone else and being happy, but now i have come to the realisation that it will never be any different between me and him, so it's a complete waste of time and energy, i don't have the energy to continue, so i have decided to just quit wasting my own precious time on someone who refuses to meet me half way.

I don't blame you for that tatty.. We all deserve and have the right to be happy. To be with someone that will like what we do and who we are. That we will like them and who they are and what they do too.
There is no need wasting time on someone that time has already proven that it is not going to work with them!
Many of us do not have that time to waste.
Even being alone is better than the constant worry and hassle of being with someone that we can not handle being around or with.
Someone that does not have simular goals and acts on them.
I'd rather be lonely and alone than to fight with someone and be unhappy having to deal with a person that I can not make a life with.
There is someone out there for everyone...waiting and finding that person is worth the wait.

hi mental, i love your new avatar, pretty cute, yeah i have the same views as you, it's a trust thing with me, i have learned in life that i am not to let people play with my emotions, i have been in situations where i have gone back and it's never changed, it may have been nice to start with but after that, back to the same ole same ole, nope, not any more, it's up and onwards for me fom now on, no more going back, i have lost all trust in people at the mo and i am not prepared to stay in a relationship that has so much negativity

well these things happen for a reason, the doors are open to better things, so i am glad that you have met the ONE....

hi unique, likes the name, welcome to mylot, yeah i guess it's how we mature in life, i for one hve learn so many lessons when it comes to matters of the heart, i used to run back to men but i am not in my late 40's and i don't have the energy for this any more, once i have set my min on something, i stick by it, i have just come out of a 13 year relationship and have been back and forth to him so many times, my heart cannot take any more of this, i just don't have the time for emotional games any more, so this is it, no more, i have moved on and that's what i intend to do, move on and get a life, not gonna have a life running back to him all the time....

Hi,
I am also in 40's. Mine is complicated he is 40's and in the army. He had a child with another women in 20's. All she wanted was to be a mother she only had 6 months to before she graduaded from college. It is his goddaughter roommate. Talk about wierd. Since I said no to haveing more children he went behind my back to fined a lady to carry his child etc... talk about being devestated. I truelly loveds him and went throuhg the Kosvos and Iraq and Aghanstan wars with him and this is how I was treated. I still love him but I have my doubts if I could ever trust him aagin. The lady did by invetro. His goddaughter through this up as bait among her friends and one of them took it. They now live together my ex and this lady and the baby and goddaughter comes by too. Cozy is it. It just so hard because I really loved him. I found out over the Christmaas Holiday last year. If I am correct she got pregnant the week of my birthday last week in April it was suppose to be a Christmas Baby but she has it first week in January. He said he never knew until it was born because they were not sure it would go full term. He suffers from low sperm. This lady also sleeps around so they were not sure if was his they did DNA twice I never saw the papers. So who knows.

I feel for you I really do I was with my ex for 10 years. I in the same boat as you.

Have a wonderful afternoon and very nice getting to know you this way.
Sincerley Unique16

well i think these things that happen to us in our lives make us stronger, i too had a bad marriage, not too much info but let's just say it ended badly, that in it's self was a huge learning curve for me, because i learned that i had to move on and make the best out of life, for my kids sake too, being in a long relationship after wards was great, he wasn't a bad person but things just didn't work out, i tried to make things work but there were too many obstacles in the way, but here i am telling the tale, i am a better person now, but i am very cautious about getting into relationships now, i am happy being single for now, i need time for me, my kids have grown and flown now so i have time to focus on my life and what i want to do with it....

i always like to hear about people who have broken up on a good term, it's nice to just get along with people as best as possible, yeah it would be embarrassing to get back with someone who dimped me too, that's why i chose not to go down that road again...you have a nice day too....

well i am glad to see a happy ending here, and glad that things are good between you, some relationships end badly, but it seems you have put the past behind you and moved on...good for you....

hahaha touche' well like you said, they had their chance, and they blew it, i mean why dump someone then want to get back with them, that's silly, once it's over then it should stay over for good, when i was younger and naive i did go back but i was very insecure back then, now i am much older and much wiser, so it's their loss, if they don't want you, never go back no matter how much they regret it, it's their loss....

exactly.
plus if he did it once he could do it again.
i'm too old for that revolving door crap.it gets way old.