I can not believe I got so angry

..oh.. that's a different kind of wife.. most mothers including me would prefer to take care of their children.. and I don't think that court would favor her if she will appeal to be given more time with the children considering that she didn't give any support to them in so many years..

Sometimes people need a good waking up talk. It can be very tiring trying to knock some sense into people who are totally clueless. I had a friend like this years ago. Her lifestyle exhausted and angered me so much that I decided it was better for my health not to be friends with her anymore.

Yikes. Well she is wrong for not paying support, but I sure hope you didn't lose a friend over it either.

Oh wow, I would have gotten upset as you have. Women as well as men have to pay child support, if they are not the primary caregiver. Has the ex husband even tried to fight her for child support. If not I am surprised that he has let it go so long without even fighting her for it. I am even surprised that child support has let even go on for so long without paying child support. She is going to have alot of back child support. Or maybe even get arrested for not paying her child support. On top of that, I don't think that the court is going to let her have more time to spend with the children if she is not paying the child support. If she takes him, well they may just order her to pay the child support on top of the back child support that she would owe. You are right though about the expensive gifts and that they don't put food in their mouths and a roof over their head. The dad needs as much help in making sure all of that happens for them. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot and she had primary custody of the children and her ex was not paying child support, she would be fighting it as well. What I wonder were does she get the money to buy her kids expensive gifts, but she won't give her ex money to take care of the kids. I just think that that is truely messed up completely. Like I have said above, it is no different, women have to pay child support just like men do.

Well, it just shows that you are a good friend and you do care about her.
You just lost your patience but that is ok. I hope that because of you losing your cool, she will finally see sense. I doubt if the court will grant her custody because of her failure to give support for seven years. While money is less important than love, it does, as you say, put food on the table.

Take care!

Sometimes I think the hardest thing when you see a friend going thru a situation, especially when you might not always agree with them, is to allow your feelings to overcome you like this, because in all you have to remember it is really up to them how they choose to live their life, and maybe to them this was for the best.

But I am sure no matter what happens if she has not spent much time with the kids then they might no longer really want her to be around them anyway, and if she thinks she could buy them all off, that is the wrong thing for sure.

Personally I would just chalk it all up to experience, and maturity and allow her to make these type of decisions on her own, and just be there to pick up the pieces when needed as well.

What kind of mother is she, for neglecting her kids, like that she is suppose to pay child support, and she want more time with her kids, I hope the judge don't give it to her, I would tell her when you start paying, child support to these kids, then we will see about you, getting more time with them, any way if she is working, the court can have money withdraw from her check, and is another way, she can pay child support.

I think you were absolutely right to give her a piece of your mind. She should at least be responsible towards her children.But her five marriages just show that she has no commitment whatsoever towards anybody except herself.It is a fallacy to expect anything worthwhile from such a person.

Good for you for finally speaking up. I have some friends that are like this. For some reason they don't feel they owe it to their kids to help support them. Support is not about expensive gifts. I'm sure that her ex would love to thrill the kids with some nice things but being a parent means having some priorities. Providing a home and food and clothing is the most important. Showing them you love and care about them is also important. The gifts are just guilt relievers....nothing more. I have a friend that has 3 kids with 2 different dads....the dads have custody. She travels around in a camper with some guy....doesn't work and comes around every other weekend to see the kids. She spends more time partying when here than she actually spends with the kids. Last week, she exploded because her ex asked if she could please help out a bit with the kids. unbelievable!!

Good grief. You poor thing. I have to agree with your husband as what you get out of the relationship. Sometimes you need to have someone to talk to too, instead of it being one sided. This is probably not a healthy relationship for you, especially if you hold your tongue with her. It's good that you blew up. Maybe that will be her wake up call or maybe she will call someone else for hours on end. Either way, you made a difference for the better. LOL. I can't believe she is not responsible enough to act like a mother. It sounds like the only reason she wants to be a mom now is she is jealous of the stepmom. If she was a better mom there would be no reason to be jealous. Honestly, if she was bad enough to lose custody of her kids and she hasn't been paying, she certainly doesn't "deserve" anything now, but a good swift kick in the rump. LOL