what you do if you found out your daughter was trying to get pregnant?  |
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 This is a serious subject and nothing to laugh at, least of which by the moms of teen girls who are actually trying to get pregnant. All this goes to show in some of the honest gut reactions that moms gave in two recent posts on the subject. Obviously it's a very real issue that's on a lot of moms' minds lately.
Here's how some moms would react if they found out their teen daughters wer trying to get pregnant.
* If I found out she was trying to get pregnant, I would send her to boot camp. And I am dead serious.
* Lock her in the basement until she is 42
* I'd provide her with condoms, possibly birth control, and we'd be discussing the responsibilities of being a mother. Not to mention I'd find someone in the neighborhood with an infant or toddler and arrange my child to babysit in hopes of showing them that they are not ready to deal with that 24/7
* I would get her psychological help.
* Well, I'd yell at her. And I'd be really disappointed. But then really what can I do but help her raise it.
* Her a** would never leave the house, and if it did happen, she would raise that baby and still go to school and take care of her responsibilities.
Why do you think teen girls try to get pregnant, and what would you do if you found out your daughter was trying?
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1.  Anora_Eldorath (2605) | 2 months ago |  Feodda-
I'd make sure she had adequate birthcontrol, but I think the deeper area I would try to reach is why she was trying to get pregnant in the first place. A friend and I were just discussing this last weekend. She was raised in Germany and there people don't understand the American "teen pregancy" issue. It's foreign to them, so to speak. Both of us sat wondering this same question, why?
The reasons I've heard and she had heard from young teen moms is they wanted something to love and something to love them. I think that is truly something we need to deal with as parents and as a society. If our young women feel so unloved that they feel a child will fulfill this need, what are we doing wrong?
I hope we can all come to an answer on this one.
Namaste-Anora
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 sudiptacallingu (7272) | 2 months ago |  I think Anora this is a very very valid point that modern society needs to address urgently. And the saddest part is that the entire process of trying to have a baby so as to love and feel loved, is so self-defeating. These young girls grow up in unnatural circumstances…saddled with responsibility at the wrong age, disruption in proper education, disruption in normal social life, vague job prospects, no guarantee or complete absence of husband, early divorce …then what? Isnt it the same vicious cycle being started all over again. A baby feels good only as long as it is just that…once it starts growing and the demands increase, the hapless young lady is forced to stress herself out trying to raise that kid as she would want to…in the process she unwittingly ends up making a lot of mistakes and neglecting that very child. Frustration and stress levels become so high in some, that they become abusive without wanting to…and so that child grows up with the same anger and feeling of denial that the mother had felt! (I hope I could explain myself, but as a woman, I actually feel so sad for these young ladies…I seriously feel that society needs to address this situation very seriously and very urgently)
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| Anora_Eldorath (2605) | 2 months ago | Sudipta-
It really is sad. We continue to give them negative reinforcement such as yelling at them, forbidding them, or in the one suggestion taking the doors off and keeping them from any sort of privacy that in actuality we push them closer to going outside the home and having a baby.
I feel if we start from an early age giving them the balance of privacy, but also helping them with their feelings of a need for love (every human needs love), that perhaps we can change this.
Though, on a secondary note, my husband was just reading an article last night on the penial gland and stating that certain types of yoga help the penial gland to stay functioning and thus delay the onset of puberty, thus lengthening life. Perhaps if more young children started this type of yoga early, we might help them to complete their education before going off to have a family? It is just a humble thought on this end this morning.
Namaste-Anora | |
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 mommaj (1085) | 2 months ago |  I agree with you about why teens want a child. Teen girls want to "fit" in for the same reason they want a child. They need to feel like they are "liked". I think this is an issue that needs to be worked on in school as well as in the home. Teachers need to reinforce the fact that everyone is different and it is okay. I heard a seven year old say she was going to have a baby by the time she was 18 because that was what you are supposed to do. In this day and age in the US where does such backwards thinking come from. I was also told I was too old to be a mommy. LOL I must not be, I have kids. LOL I tried to explain to the little girl that their was a lot of life to live before having children. You need to graduate high school. You should go to college or get a job until you can support yourself. Then, you find someone you want to marry and have children with. I told her she needs to be herself first. At seven I doubt she understood any of it, but I sure hope she at least thinks about it.
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| 2. ybong007 (1064) | 2 months ago |  It's a different story in the Philippines, more girls get pregnant not because they want to but rather as a result of their ignorance. Good thing is if you found out about it before she got pregnant at least you can do all the things you need to do to prevent it but if its too late..well, there's nothing much you can do but help her raise the child. Cheers
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| ybong007 (1064) | 2 months ago | Yes feodda is from the Philippines but as i reviewed her topic it seems to me that it was taken from the point of view of an american mother because we don't have a boot camp here or do we? | |
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| 3. triplejazzm51 (276) | 2 months ago | Yes, this is really a serious subject and i hate to even think about it. My daughter having a se**** relationship oh no. You know i have a daughter who is 15 years old i only hope she'll continue to be the same way till she reach 21. She's so engrossed with her studies, she has friends, crushes, i think its normal, but no boyfriend yet. She prefers to stay home and do her assignments, school projects or read. She also writes novel and short stories. I pray to GOD that it wont happen to her. If it will, then what could a mother do but to help her. Nobody will, except us, her family.
This kind of problem should be managed before it happens. "An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure" may apply here. Children brought up properly with a kind, loving and supportive family will not go astray. Proper guidance of parents is always needed. We can share with them our mistakes committed in life and the lessons we learned will encourage them not to commit the same mistake. We could not be perfect parents but trying to be our best with Gods help will keep our children in the right path. | |
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| 4. antwon88 (5) | 2 months ago | Show her how expensive and tiring a baby can be for a teenage mother. Even married couples with jobs have a hard time caring for a baby. You need to be financially and mentally prepared to take on this task. Tell her that having a kid with a guy will probably scare him away and will therefore leave her to take care of the baby herself. | |
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| 5. sudiptacallingu (7272) | 2 months ago | Well, truly speaking I really don’t know why a teenage girl would want to get pregnant! Having fun is understandable but actually ‘trying’ to get pregnant and be saddled down with a baby and responsibilities! I don’t think many girls consciously try to become pregnant…it happens just as it happens and they are unaware of the consequences or maybe because society accepts them as unwed mothers at such age…they don’t give a serious thought to the repercussions. But teenagers will be teenagers and instead of turning them into rebels and risking further catastrophe, I would hand them the pill…it’s the best thing medical science ever made for the modern women and safe too. Locking them up or kicking their a** wont help any of us really and if I feel that my daughter is really going to have ‘fun’ at this age, then I have a lot to blame myself for it…so rather than constricting her movements, I’d try to salvage the situation and be more of a friend for her. | |
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| 6. govijo (21) | 2 months ago |  At any cost don't give her up under any circumstances.Be as much as supportive to her,sit aside and dicuss the isuue with her.As we her Parent,we can make her feel comfortable and explain the worst of it at this age.since she is at her teenage,we should not pull her to take any suicidal action,by yelling at her for what she ahs done.Always take a chance to talk with her in advance before she commits any such thing.everything is in the hands of a Mother to be a friend,philosopher for her and guide towards her bright future.
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| msfrancisco9369 (2136) | 2 months ago |  thanks for your comment maggie-- but please enlighten me about your point i just can't get it. i apologize i might be so pre-occupied this time. i will appreciate if you will explain this further. thanks!
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| 9. muscles4me (9172) | 2 months ago |  I would see to it she took a birth control pill everyday and enroll her in an all girls boarding school.
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