|  i use to enjoy watching movies, until they started really catering to the purposefully feeble minded. take for example war movies. i hate those, because they create an over exaggerated, unrealistic version of being in the military and a soldier. the general population who have never been in the military don't understand military life, or what a soldier does. if you tell them, they probably wouldn't want to hear because they have already gotten their information from CNN. furthermore, they don't want good war stories going to waste on any thing real. don't get me wrong, there are soldiers over seas who are really putting their lives at risk for this country. on the other hand, there are millions of people in the armed forces and not all of them are in iraq or afganistan. not everyone is fighting for their lives everyday in a war zone. i was over seas with the military, and the only thing about that tour i did not like, was the long working hours. my life was never really in any more danger than i was in the states. i was medical field, and the unit i was with was not stationed in any hot zone. other than that, i had a wonderful time serving. there are some people, like my boyfriend that are not satisfied with that. i think he would have rather have heard some kind of bloody horror story-the kind he likes to listen to on CNN.
ever since we got together and he found out that i was in the military, he has this image in his head of me like i am some super hero action figure. he even treats me like it. he feels as though i am a women of steel, just because i was in the military. some may say they would be flattered by this. other would contend that this hyped up image is hard to live up to, and a lot of pressure to be something that you are not, or want to be. furthermore, this hyped up image of me that he has in his head doesn't always play out with me as the heroine in his head. in other words, when we argue. he will make reference to military things. like he is trying to throw up the military in my face. he will purposefully seek things out to watch having to do with war. a few days later, when we have a conversation, he will say something like soldiers are mind controlled. when i say things he will say, " that sounds very "militant, or "military".
this is making me sick. it is also making it hard for me to get intimate with him because of it. it is like i don't feel feminine. what makes it worse is that he is a very effeminate metro sexual kind of male. a pretty boy, he NEVER had to get his hands dirty. a mama's boy, the youngest of 6 kids or whatever. spoiled. whinny, picky. never worked a day in his life. sleeps all day, plays video games all night long. being with him makes me feel as though i am the man in the relationship. i am the provider in the household. so bills gets paid, even though he doesn't work. i also clean the house. maybe once in a while he will clean with me, but to do it on his own accord (and MAN is he a slob! a bio chemical hazzard type of slob). even when he does it, he does all the parts of the house where you don't have to get messy (like the living room area). i have to clean the grimmy kitchen. i do the bathroom. i wake up early in the morning to put my kid on the bus. he has and always did get off scott free in life. so, i guess since his mom did not want to take care of him anymore, he found his wonder woman? i want a man. don't get me wrong i understand that maybe he just admires my accomplishments? i know people who admire my accomplishments with out making me regretted that i even did them, and blow me up to be way more than i am.
i resent that type of attention, especially from someone like him. i don't like the role reversal thing going on, either. i don't mind being equal. i also don't mind feeling like a girl. i purposefully don't watch movies or tv anymore with him because he looks at me like a freak every time sometime he can associate with the military comes on. it makes me feel funny. once he even told me that he thought that i was like 7 of 9 of star trek (he says he used to have a crush on her, ok great, but i don't want that type of attention from someone like him, well from anyone. i can't stand that people who have never been in the military think all of us are wore torn, battle scared, psychotic freaks. stop believing in stupid things like, men staring at goats and brother not really missing in action coming home to kill his bother that moved into his house and messed with his wife, and he tries to kill everyone in his family...yadee yadee yadaa. oh my gosh! stop! lol. it is just the movies peoples.
for those soldiers out there who have not had an easy time, like i did serving. for all those fallen soldiers (the HEROS for real). movies like that are a disgrace. those who are back, but hurt, want to live normal lives in peace, quiet and privacy. they don't want everyone looking at them like freaks, and making a big deal out of everything. don't use them for entertainment. have some respect. that's what my boyfriend does not understand.
whew! i just had to vent that out. i know it's alot, but i have been holding it in since we have been together. no! i can't talk to him, because he will pitch and witch. he has a very premadonna witchy attitude. i have NEVER dated a guy like that before. oh, and by the way. no, i have NEVER dated a guy in the service, or had a relationship with one. me and my boyfriend can't talk about much of anything without arguing.
thanks for reading. i know it's a long post. what do you think? any suggestions? words of wisdom? insight? anyone want to back me up? validate me? send me shout outs? hola. lol. whew! feels better. now, i won't just scream at him, all of a sudden for no reason? lol.
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