Neighbor Is A Jerk! He Yells At Me And Verbally Assaults Me Every Morning! Help!
By schulzie
@schulzie (4061)
United States
November 24, 2009 7:55am CST
I have been living in a condo that I am renting for the past 10 months or so after the economy tanked here in America. Anyways when we first moved in it was fine, however a month after moving in my children were starting their new school here and as they are "Special Needs" children (they are mentally retarded) a bus comes in the morning and picks them up and then returns in the afternoon to bring them back home.
As my children are mentally impaired they do not understand things like keeping your voice down, etc. especially when they are excited, etc. Well, we have a neighbor right next door to us that is about 35 years old and lives with his elderly father. The "son" is morbidly obese and missing most of his teeth. He has very bad body odor and the entire condo smells like him when he leaves the door open.
Well, one of the first mornings my children were waiting for their bus to come and pick them up they were excited and speaking at normal volume and laughing and being happy. Unfortunately we were outside our door at the time which is near one of our neighbor's windows. He comes flying out his front screen door screaming at me that "This is not a house you know, this is a condo. I'm still sleeping. Shut up!". It was about 7:35 in the morning when this happened. I apologized and tried to explain to my kids to be quiet, etc. which they really didn't comprehend.
Well, that was in March of this year. So about 5 or 6 days ago my girls were running out the door to catch their bus and I followed them out. They were saying "Bye Mommy!" to me and I told them bye and walked them out to their bus. When I walked back towards my condo "Fatty" was standing there again at his screen door. Now, this is about 8 months later as it is November now. He screams at me "I'M NOT GONNA F**KING TELL YOU AGAIN! KEEP IT DOWN!" I was shocked by this and started screaming back at him to shut up. Then he called me a "Psycho B*tch" and then I told him he was fat and needed to take a bath because he stunk and it is just disgusting. He told me that I am one to talk as I am fat too. Well, let me tell you he is about 5'9 and probably around 600 pounds or so. I am 5'6 and around 215 so yes I am fat, but not like this guy. Well I just walked in my condo and closed the door when this happened.
Now this morning about 6 days later it happens again. I have been trying to be quiet, having the kids be quiet, etc. I walk my son out, he gets on the bus and I am standing with my back to the neighbor's door. As I turn to go back to my door he says from in back of me in a loud voice "Well, if it isn't White Trash!!". This startled me as I didn't even realize he was there. I ignored him and just walked back to my condo and acted like I didn't even hear him.
I am sick of it living here. I am paying high rent for this crap - well over $1000 a month. My husband doesn't want to move when our lease is up as he doesn't like moving but I sure do. Also, I think we could get cheaper rent as the economy is cheaper and I repeatedly see places that are around $300 a month cheaper.
I just had to come on here and vent. Does anyone know what I can do or say to this jerk so he stops harassing me? I know his dad owns the condo next door and we are "only renters" but I think we have rights too. What would you do in this situation? I am not good at conflict or confrontations and this has really upset me.
Thanks for listening.
Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!!
I am sick of it living here. I am paying high rent for this crap - well over $1000 a month. My husband doesn't want to move when our lease is up as he doesn't like moving but I sure do. Also, I think we could get cheaper rent as the economy is cheaper and I repeatedly see places that are around $300 a month cheaper.
I just had to come on here and vent. Does anyone know what I can do or say to this jerk so he stops harassing me? I know his dad owns the condo next door and we are "only renters" but I think we have rights too. What would you do in this situation? I am not good at conflict or confrontations and this has really upset me.
Thanks for listening.
Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!!
5 people like this
17 responses
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I agree too. He should be awake at that time but then again he does not work and I can assume he is lazy and sleeps most of his day away. He doesn't have anywhere to go obviously.
I don't think complaining will do me any good either as he is buddies with the condo association's president and board members. Oh well. I will bide my time.
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Yes I am already scouting the classifieds so I can have something lined up when my lease expires. I can't wait. I think they are just being jerks because we rent. Well as I said she will have a time finding someone else to rent this place.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
24 Nov 09
Oh my, that is unbearable behavior. Have you talked to your husband about this? I mean did he even consider moving to a more "child/person friendly" place? Just how long do you still have before your lease expires? If its not that long, maybe you can wait it out a bit. Avoid your neighbor at all costs. You could also talk to your neighbor's father, if that can be a possibility.
If it comes to the extremes, well, you can always take the legal action.
Sorry if Im not much help regarding this matter. I do wish you and your family well.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I bet that is possibly one of the reasons that it sat vacant for months. Also, I think that she was asking way too much for the rent. Lastly, the association is a real pain in the you know what. If my cat farts I get a letter about it in the mail complaining about it.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
24 Nov 09
Just a few months more. Im going to count with you cause hopefully, I get to graduate college by March.^_^
Hmm, I wonder if that neighbor of yours could have contributed to the place not being rented/leased for months at a time.
Happy myLotting to you too, and have a Happy Holidays!
Happy myLotting to you too, and have a Happy Holidays!1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
24 Nov 09
OMG!! That's a terrible living condition! This is not at all healthy for you and your children. I just hope you get to shift soon. I know this is not easy. I have seen people fighting and coming down to verbal abuses with the unstoppable blaming games here. There is no law as such to stop anyone from hurting another's sentiments. Or even if there is, the people behind are dormant. Can't you lodge a complaint anywhere? There must be something to deal with this. I am really sorry Sid. And helpless as well. That makes me sad. I do not know what to suggest but I really do care. Please be fine.
Hugs.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
No it is not healthy for me as I have High Blood Pressure and take medicine for it. Plus he is a man and much larger than me and is threatening/intimidating me. My heart was racing when he screamed at me.
I don't know if I can issue a complaint against him. He is an owner of the condo and I am a renter. He is also great friends with the Association's President and board members.
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
I don't know if I can issue a complaint against him. He is an owner of the condo and I am a renter. He is also great friends with the Association's President and board members.
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
24 Nov 09
I am concerned, really. I think, you should do something about it. Hypertension really could be fatal.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10909)
• Canada
24 Nov 09
I am sorry that you are going through this, i wouldnt want to be in your place :/ have you tried to talk to the person who either owns the condos or takes care of them ? I know in my building if you are being bothered by someone, I can call the superintendent, and make a complaint, if he see's/hears/witness's or you have proof otherwise, and you and or other people give him three written complaint that are valid, the person gets automatically evicted.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
That is the thing - his dad owns that condo next to us. We are renting here. I think we are the only renters in this complex so we are extremely in the minority here. He could not be evicted as they own the place. However we could be.
I am going to just try to ride this out. I think maybe if I just ignore this guy he will stop. I mean if I am not fueling the fire by screaming back at him then he might stop it as he is getting no reaction from me.
It just really sucks having this kind of situation. I have never been in this kind of situation before. Thank God I did not BUY this condo. I would not take this place even if they were giving it away!
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
It just really sucks having this kind of situation. I have never been in this kind of situation before. Thank God I did not BUY this condo. I would not take this place even if they were giving it away!
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Nov 09
hi schultzie thats just awful. could you complain to whoever you pay your rent to, I know here in ca the rents are just unbelievably high. so if you can get any kind of break I would take it.we were evicted as we ran out of money after my son
lost his job.we were paying 1200 and it was to go up to 1300
when we got evicted.we both ,my son and I,have places to live now. not perfect but better than homeless.
Could you prevail upon the dad to shut up his nasty son? Or
is the dad just as bad?In the US here there are usually some sort of renters complaint board, don't know what it is called but do some searching and find out then complain to them.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Well, I'm in Florida and I am paying what you were paying for rent. The rents here are just as bad as in California. I don't know his dad very well other than the fact that he is a busy body and butts his nose into things. I think the son must have learned that behavior somewhere.
I'm glad your situation is better now. I just have to wait it out until March then I'm outta here.
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!!
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!!
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Really? I never realized I could have papers served on someone for something like that. I truly dread going out my front door every morning for fear that he is going to insult me or call me a name or say something in front of my kids. I wish he would just shut up.
Thanks for your comment and have a nice day.
Thanks for your comment and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
3 Dec 09
Hi schulzie..I was actually directed here from your most previous discussion. I figured I would go ahead and post in here because your situation was new to me. Let me start off by saying How dare him! Your story is very disturbing and I can tell you how I would handle it. I would make as much "innocent" noise as I possibly could on my way to the bus stop with my children. He is a renter too and you have as much right to be there as anyone else. You pay your rent and you have a right to live. So do your children. When he comes out on you..and he will..I wouldn't say a word to him..just let the idiot cuss and while he is..take your cellphone and call the police. Tell them he has threatened you and tell them the way he has made you feel. Tell them just like you have told us here. Let him deal with his own actions..you don't have too. Yes I would tell the owner of the building after you had to call the police. Just to explain how the other tenant has acted towards you. This is not a situation that anyone should have to deal with and you shouldn't have to feel like you need to move. Good luck with this and I hope he gets what he deserves.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Go file a restraining order or a complaint of harassment. I do not know if you have any rules in your condo about quiet times, most places it is something like 10 pm to 6am so he is out of line. You betcha I would be moving, as well. I can imagine that with housing prices down 7% you could find a more economical place. You and your kids do not need to be treated that way.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Kill him with kindness. Seriously....this does work. Every time you see him smile cheerfully ...even if it is fake and tell him to have a great day. This will bother him more than you can imagine. You do have rights as well. Kids are kids and if their noise bothers him so so much then he should find a place up in the woods somewhere. When you live in a condo or apartment building, you do have to be considerate but you also have to be aware that we all have differing lifestyles. Of course, I'd try to get my kids to be quiet but they are kids...even without the mental handicap, kids just naturally tend to be loud and need constant reminders to keep it down. There isn't much he could do about this. He doesn't even own the condo. You are not breaking any laws.
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
25 Nov 09
There is no reason why you should put up with that. Most condos have homeowner's associations and if you have one, please call them and tell them about your horrible neighbor's abuse. Try to arrange to have a witness out of sight but not out of earshot. If he makes anything even vaguely like a threat, call the police. He sounds crazy to me.
As for moving, I hope you do. If your husband hates moving so much, take the first month's savings of $300 and hire someone to move all your stuff so that all he has to do is walk into the new apartment or house. In fact, there are a LOT of houses for rent, everywhere, and you should consider one. Your children should be able to be noisy and happy, that's how kids are and there's no sense fighting it.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
27 Nov 09
i think try to talk your husband into buy a house or renting a house, since you have noticed some homes in your area with cheaper rent. kids need more space and a backyard to play in, anyway. i think the kids will be happier, too.
problems like this always arise in areas of apartments, condos and townhouses. this is normal. the homes are too close for comfort, and people start to get on each others' nerves, kind of reminds you when you were young and living with your family and siblings. there was always some kind of lame fight.
if it happens to me, and it has before, many times in past, i just yelled back at them to shut them up. trash with no life really irk me. i havent seen any of them in a long time. maybe some moved or who knows and who cares.
but your story was entertaining. you should save this in a notebook and continue to write stuff about your neighbors in a journal. then, eventually turn it into an entertaining book. you can title it, My Crazy Neighbor or Neighbors. maybe others will feel better that they are not the only ones living next to crazy neighbors without a life. but it sounds like our neighbor has health issues of some kind, whether mental health, depression or some other health issues. people act certain ways for a reason.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Hey schulzie~ I am so sorry to hear that you have this kind of
problem with your neighbor! He sounds like a piece of trash
to me! He must have some kind of "mental" issues to be his age,
living with his Dad and having problems with his hygiene! But,
unfortunately when you live in a Condo or apartment you can't
pick your neighbors or know what they are like until you are
already living there! I have had a problem with one of my
neighbors for all the years I have lived in my apartment and
that is about 29 years! We both moved in at the same time! She
is a worthless piece of trash, a ho, nobody likes her, she
is a liar and tries to make trouble! She doesn't mess with me
because she is afraid of me and she needs to be! The Landlord
is aware of her issues and the fact that 4 tenants that lived
underneath her moved out BECAUSE of HER! But, they still couldn't
evict her because they say that "she pays her rent"! There's
alot more to the story, but I am just trying to make a point.
I wouldn't move out because of her, athough others did! But,
in your situation I think it is different and for your peace of
mind and your childrens sake I would consider finding another
place to live especially if it would be less money! Why should
you have to try to "make your children be quiet"! They need to
be able to be children! This guy is the sicko!
@soyporteno (406)
• United States
25 Nov 09
He sounds like a real jerk to me. If I were you I would try to avoid him and ignore him when he says stupid things. If you react you are just adding fuel to the fire. Just don't respond and I think he will stop eventually. Thank goodness you only have about 3 1/2 months to go before you can move out of there. Good thing you didn't buy the place.
And I bet the condo will sit vacant again once you move out, maybe this time for a year or so.
And I bet the condo will sit vacant again once you move out, maybe this time for a year or so.
@Picquarian (724)
• United States
5 Jan 10
I would definitely talk to your landlord about this and if nothing is done, I would call the police. If you can find a way, record what he is saying to you. I would see if I can take him to court over his repeated harassment, which is obviously causing you emotional distress. I would also try to get a restraining order. This may be extreme, but when someone messes with me, I fight back in a big way.
@goldenteardrops (747)
• United States
24 Nov 09
well seen this before with some people who have no respect for each other. I think he is out of hand and name calling does not help. sometimes yelling back and forth just gets worst and worst. If possible try to talk to him with a calm voice and if he will not talk then just walk away and say I tried to talk with you but you are impossible to talk to and I tried to be kind and you want to be rude so I will not talk no further with you. Do not cuss in front of my kids and I will talk with the kids to try to explain to them how you want to sleep in the mornings but these kids are special to me and maybe not to you but I will try to talk to them to be a little lower talking. by the way neighbors should get along how late do you sleep? If he works? and try to be kind it is hard but try because some people feel guilty after they see they have no challenge in an arguement. Fussing gets you no where. But some kids can get out of hand sometimes and some do not understand because they have no kids or lack of understanding. Kids learn by action and try to use control if you can. If you think you might explode then talk to someone like a pastor and ask them to stop by and talk with your neighbors and explain you tried but need some advice. OR I would try to find a house with a yard for the kids can play and talk with your husband about it more. Your husband maybe needs to walk h kids to the bus sometimes men do not say to much to men as they do women..hint I am a christain and believe in prayer much I know if you pray for this person and ask God to send someone there to talk with this guy to get along better wih you and family He will..pray he will change to the better neighbor..
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Thanks. I am Christian too, Catholic. My neighbor is Catholic too - I know this as I see the Blessed Mother statue in their kitchen area through the window. He doesn't act very Christian though by his behavior. We have until March and then the lease is up. I am so out of here. I have decided to just ignore him whenever he says anything.
This neighbor is obsenely fat and I believe he must be on disability. He hardly ever leaves his residence except to get his mail, take trash out, or scream at me. He seems to not have much of a life. I think he sleeps all day - he does not work. Probably this is why he live with his 85 year old father.
My husband works and leaves home before my kids go to the bus so he cannot walk them out. I am just trying to wait it out. I just don't like this situation. The neighbor must be a very bitter and unhappy person.
I believe in prayer too but I don't know if it will help this guy. I am just going to tune him out as best as I can.
Thanks for your comment and happy myLotting!!
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Well I am so very sad that you are in this situation....if your husband doesn't want to move perhaps he might take a turn at trying to calm the neighbor.....I don't know what the solution is....if you name call back you are bringing yourself down to his level..unless you can come up with a reply that stings so bad he will regress back to his daddys' house and not say anything any more.....I don't know for sure what it would be...Maybe ask him what time he gets up to go to work....(he isn't working is he?)....or ask him how it is to be so successful he still lives with his daddy....I just don't know....but I hope you find some resolution!
@yecal10 (143)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Whew. It looks like this situation has completely melted down. Normally I would say to have a little talk with him to explain that the children are special needs are cannot comprehend the situation. However, it looks like this situation has gotten really out of hand. Actually, I would move. It really isn't working out.
