It's That Time of the Month Again...  

Today I got up and glanced at the calendar.

"Ortho @ 4:00"

??!!!

I take the calendar more seriously this time...

"Ortho @ 4:00"

Ughhhhh...Noooooo, not again! Not today...

For those of you who don't know me, which is practically all of you, if I had to pick a place where I dread going to the most, it wouldn't be Chuck E. Cheese's, it wouldn't be a nature reserve on a rainy day, it wouldn't be the hospital, the Halloween superstore, a public restroom, or even a potpourri shop; it would be the office of my orthodontist.

Oh, how I wish I were sick like I was when my previous appointment snuck around.
Oh, how I wish I wrote it in chicken scratch so I couldn't read that horrible, dreadful phrase...

"Ortho @ 4:00"

But unfortunately, today, I feel the healthiest I've been all week.
And strangely enough, I had good penmanship for January 16 on my calendar...

What the...?






I must be brave.
I must face the pain of the piercing wind and sub zero freezing temperatures...


My sis is a big fat liar. it is 54 degrees F here pplz.


Sorry, my brother was trying to write this discussion for me. Don't mind him. He has no idea what he's talking about.


As I was saying, face sub zero freezing temperatures...
And blistering cold winds
I must also brush my teeth slightly longer than my usual job...
And remember to wear my oral rubber bands for once...

Ugh...


Okay, so I get to the orthodontist's office. (Nice! They have the newest issue of People...)

Receptionist: "Stefanie, we may see you now. Room two, please"

My mood immediately changes. I had a gut feeling that pain & annoyance was in my near future...

Orthodontist: "Hi, how are we today?"

Me: "Fine thanks." (Pftt...like he cares, right?)

Orthodontist: "Just fine, eh? Okay! Let's have a looky."

I open my mouth and before I think to shut my eyes, he shines that bright light in my face, causing me to see rainbow spots all over his dental mask. H'm...I want Skittles now...

Orthodontist: "Ah, okay...looking good, looking good...well better, but looking good...Are you still wearing your rubber bands, hun?"

Me: "yaahesss."

Orthodontist: "All the time?"

Me: "yaahe." (Pfft...liar. Shut up, brain!)

He stretches out my mouth some more...
says some dental jargon to his assistant.

Orthodontist: "What color elastics do you want, hun?"

Me: "Gulea."

Orthodontist: "What was that?"

(Idiot. Maybe he should take his fingers out of my mouth so I can speak English)

Assistant: "She said, 'clear.'"

Orthodontist: "Oh! Clear it is! Hmmm hmm hm hm hm..."

He begins to hum.

He takes off my old elastics and inserts a new archwire. The wire pokes into the back of my gums. He finally realizes the wire is too long after several more painful pokes deep into my gums. Upon this discovery, he gets out my most feared instrument...this huge, black, dental wire cutter. I begin to sweat. He inserts the wire cutter towards the back of my mouth to cut the wire ends. I open my mouth and eyes extra wide for this one. He snipped part of my gum trying to cut a wire with it once... Thankfully, this time around, he manages to cut both ends of the archwire and ONLY the archwire, causing less pain than the usual...

After the worst is over, he painfully pinches my lip against his dental instrument every time he inserts an elastic band on a metal bracket on my braces. I wonder if passed with a D- in dental school... Tears begin to form in my eyes, slightly clouding my vision, but intensifying the light from overhead. How lovely...

He finally finishes inserting my elastics.

I am free from torture!






Well...




for another month...




Do you dread going to your dentist or orthodontist? Do you consider your dentist/orthodontist pretty good or pretty darn horrible? Tell me some of your dentist stories. Thanks for listening.