My heart broken story...(really REALLY long) Just need some input.Any input...  

So the subject of this discussion may be a little exaggerated. Now before you read this I would like very much for any prejudices or stereotypes to be thrown away if you decide to continue. Its really a typical story. Maybe something I haven't put much thought into yet.

Like many people my age my story begins with a girl and for the sake of this story lets call her J. She's perfect in everyway in my eyes. Cute, beautiful, amazing, interesting, Everyday seems to be a bit brighter because I can see her. I didn't know her long though. Just a while. She lives in Ohio now and I live in another state. We weren't close at first. Just friends. She was with someone so I tried to tell myself she would be ok.Live and forget. Well while in Ohio she had a boyfriend for two years. (a side note: I haven't seen her in a couple years but we managed some sort of relationship text messages and some phone calls. She wasn't too close to me. I on the other hand felt myself loving her more I didn't say anything because she seemed to be happy with her boyfriend.

Somewhere in that last year we lost contact something with phone numbers and such and that was it).It wasn't until her friend texted me(she managed to find me through family of mine amazingly) saying that J had broken up with her boyfriend and it had been a couple month's since and she was still doing pretty bad. I decided to text her. She wasn't ecstatic to hear from me but you can't tell much through text. I gave her a smile that day, learned a couple things. She seemed ok. She must have liked me or something because we ended up texting again and phone calls for the next couple weeks. She seemed to do better. After a couple months of talking with her I became a lot moreenamorated with her. Her friend said that ever since I started talking with her she began to feel better, her confidence rose and was doing great. Apparently before she was a complete mess. The whole nine yards. She had no life to her. It wasn't something I wanted to see.

She trusted me now. She told me about her old relationship. About how her ex had promised her marriage and gave her a lot of lies. He wanted sex from her and couldn't get it from her after 2 years so he cheated with her and found someone else. He also hit on her friend( the one that connected us back together) and was asking for threesome between them without her knowledge of it. She was torn up since she had planned on the marriage thing. Even after all of this she still loved him, wishes that he was back, but she wouldn't do it because her family wouldn't like it, or his family for that matter, plus her friends. He dated some "witch" as she put it. She told me she still had relapse. Crying for him from time to time. She thought of herself as useless and nothing. I always told her she was beautiful, amazing and really a rare beauty and I meant it. She got a little better but still her feelings didn't change.

A couple more months later we were very close now. She shared her heart's secrets with me. I opened up more of myself to her. I don't usually tell anyone too much about my feelings. I have a built up kind of wall that she managed to break down. I was happy for it.

It wasn't until a few day's went by that I hadn't heard from her at all. It was odd. We texted everyday. Talked on the weekends. I tried not to think much of it. She texted me a week later. She didn't make a play. It's her passion to be in theater. I soothed her told her that they didn't deserve someone as beautiful and talented. She felt a little better. She told me that her friend had managed to get her and her ex back together but as "friends" nothing more...She was still feeling the same but no more lifeless doll and more confidence. She talked to me more about it. I had a feeling already. She told me they had talked. He had broken up with the witch a month or two back. He confessed to her. She went to his house. They made out, cuddled, and gave her virginity to him at that time. She refused to do so the first time because they were to be married in 6 months and he didn't wait. I didn't understand why. She said he was still talking to her and told her that he loved her still.

He wants to date her again in college. She believes him. She said he looked very convincing and that she's happy. I made an argument. I reminded her about what he had done to her before and it wasn't any use. She said that if I had seen them together before I'd think differently about him. I couldn't believe it. I went through a rip your heart out kind of pain.

It was at this point I learned that she doesn't care too much for me. I'm good enough to tell secrets and make her feel better but that's it. I'd do anything for her I tell her she deserves anything she wants and I remembered that she never said anything about liking me or when I had a bad day she didn't do much to cheer me up she'd just say "oh..." via text and leave a joke here and there. At this point what she thought of me was just a friend in another state with a thing for her nothing less but nothing more. She calls me her lovesick puppy that follows her around. It was cute. I liked it. It was something, I hoped, that could grow into something more...

As of right now I told her I'm fine. I'm not mad at her. I'd take her secrets to the grave. She's happy that she confessed it to me. I'm heart broken. I lost something I never had to begin with. I still call her beautiful and amazing and that she's more precious than any diamond. Its an overwhelming love I have.

Words of wisdom or Advice, or any opinions would helpe really I need to think this carefully through...