Trying to be more active after the loss of our grandson 6 months ago  

In August I posted I would not be on Mylot for sometime. I have not been much. I am not even sure yet how much I will be on here. Slowly getting back to being active on the internet more. In August my four year old grandson my heart died in a tragic accident and it has been extremely hard on all of us. His parents and 5 siblings live with us and so it is a roller coaster of emotion at times. But going to Hospice and Compassionate friends and creating Heaven's Children group on Facebook and on Gather.com has helped. I am still deeply sad and always will be in my heart and miss him terribly every day. But the shock, the numbness, most the anger has worn off. The acceptance has set in but it is still not easy. Every holiday and ocassion we feel his loss. He was such a vital happy loving child and had a great love for God he is now in heaven and with our brother and Savior Jesus. He is with my mom and my dad and my son James and daughter Serenity and three boy cousins. We or comforted by that and that one day we WILL see an be with him again.

Now I have a new grandson my oldest son and wife just had a new baby and another son is having a baby in July. My daughter and husband are planning on two more children. No one and nothing we know can ever replace Gerrin he was our little man and Gerrin boy and still is. Someday he will get to have his dreams in a better world. But having more grandchildren to rock, cuddle, sing to, play with helps. My daughter said she wants two more who will be closer in age to her almost two year old as her youngest now is 7 and half and the gap between the youngest girl and her remaining son is 6.5 years. She said she hopes to try next fall and hopes she has more sons as she has four girls.

So I am going to try and be on here more because life goes on for us here and Gerrin Pronounced Jerrin with the J sound. Would not want us to cry all the time. We see him in the morning sky, the rainbows the bright golden dandelions he used to always gather and bring us. The balloons and bubbles and the animals he loved, cats and dogs and butterflies he delighted in trying to catch and every helicopter that flies overhead and every cat, tractor, dump truck, grader, shovel, crane. Anything heavy equipment for he wanted to be a heavy equipment operator and construction owner someday. He wanted to fly helicopters and he also wanted to dance he loved dancing and music and playing the piano. We hear him in music and he loved God and church and praying.

We have 16 grandchildren 12 living on earth and 4 in heaven and 17 due to be born come July. I often tell God and Jesus to say hello to Gerrin and that we love him. I know they do. And we know through God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit Gerrin loves us to.