should i be a cool mom or a conservative mom?  

I am not sure what you went through but let me tell you something. My mama had her first kid at 13 (rip my brother) and then my sister had one at 17, I think my grandmother at 16, and I'm 22 and am TTC.

I guess what I am trying to say is that families are all different, people are all different in the families, the mistakes you made, if you let your child know about them and how much you regret them, will make an impact on her. Tell her how you regret what you did, if you in fact did.

Be the cool yet tough love mom. Let her do some things that your willing to let her do (date early, stay out later) but let her know that these are privileges and that if she does anything to make you regret giving her the priviliges she'll be grounded and said privileges will be revoked..

does that make sense? ( I tend to confuse )

I'm a single mom too, widowed when my eldest daughter was 12 my second was 10, my son the youngest was 7. I think we'll just be a cool mom and a little conservative. I was so busy then, working leaving them with my mom and a niece. Left early in the morning and comes home at night, being in the real estate business. I just let them grow the ordinary life. Attending their classes on weekdays and being together on our free times. Just letting them aware of what is right and wrong, when they come up with life's situations. At their teens, they are just being reminded of must be at home before it darks but they are free to attend their friends birthdays and other special occasions. No much restrictions, I let them feel they are well trusted. I'm so thankful now they grew up fine ladies and a young gentlemen. The eldest after been employed at early age to help me support the family married at 26 and has two kids. My second daughter finished his college education with no boyfriend. She's a high school teacher and a part time college prof, quite consevative and still single at 27. My son, the youngest is employed at the same time is enjoying a college scholarship, sponsored by the company he's working. Like my 2nd daughter, he enjoys to be single at 24. They're all responsible and loving. So I guess, just to be a cool mom is better. Little conservative when needed too.

Being a cool mom isn't bad nor being conservative. It's just a matter of balance. I'd rather say you be a cool mom but instill your daughter the values to ponder and keep guided with her actions. At times, you have to give her limitations upon knowing the possible consequences of her actions. It's just a matter of talk and evaluation with your daughter.

I have two daughters now aged 20 and 22. I must say I am a cool mom at the same time a conservative one. I am cool because I let my daughters attend parties, go out with their friends, entertain suitors at home and not outside but I set limits. When they go out this should only be on a Saturday and they must be home by 7pm just in in time for family dinner, they have to ask permission from their father, if the father agree that they go out, then it's okay with me. I tell them to finish first their assignments and their house chores before they can go. I want them to tell me where they are going and who are the friends they are going out. I should have a contact number of those friends and their parents. I always ask where those friends live and if I think that these friends are bad influence to my daughters, I don't let them go. I let them entertain suitors but not to agree on a relationship yet and go out on dates, not until they are finish with their college studies. They have known some teens in our neighborhood who got married at an early stage and their marriage was a failure, that I don't want them to suffer such. My children and I are friends, we always go out for a girl-bonding, we talk a lot, I told them not to keep secrets from me about anything, their school works, their crushes or followers. I always tell them that I should know everything about them since if problem arises, I want to if to be the first one to know and I will help them the best I can. Now my other daughter has finished her college degree, she is now allowed to entertain her suitors, go out on dates and have a relationship to someone she chooses to but not to go to bed with a man until married. My other daughter is on her last year in college and she will enjoy the freedom her sister have now when she graduates. I suggest that you do not put gap between you and your daughter, always keep the communication open, show her that you love her, you are there to support her and always tell her the consequences if she stray away. GoodlucK!

If you want to be a good mother you need to combination of both - cool and conservative. But try to maintain the balance in between them. By this way you can be a good mom.

Hi futzkie,
You can be both... cool and conservative. It's easy to say we trust our children but we can't really trust them fully. My parents trusted me while i was growing up. They thought i was trustworthy but when i fall in love, i became my parent's nightmare. I am a mother now, good thing my child is a boy so i am not that much worried. But you have a daughter, and i have to say that you have to be more conservative than cool. This is just my opinion.

well I am a single dad of 3, and I think you have to be true to yourself you will have your own beliefs and moral values no matter what they are whether cool or conservative.

So stick to your own upbringing and what you feel is correct and that's the kind of mom you need to be.

Don't conform to what your daughter wants be true to yourself.

Well, I think you should be a cool but conservative mom. You should let her date boys that she likes and let her have fun being a teenager but always remind her, as in ALWAYS remind her that it should be just clean fun.