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How do you stop a bunch of women from bitching ?  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life 2 years ago

I suppose that is an age old question that can never be answered lol. Yesturday I worked and it was the first time I did not want stay for morning tea . One girl just went on and on with her bitching and whinning at our tea break . I swear the rest of the group at tea were going to murder her at one point, and I was going to help them. If we told her to shut up she would go straight to the manager and complain about us all.I work for the government and it is hard to get rid of these people. So how do we tactfully tell them to stop the bitching?.Cheere Sue

 

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peavey (7333) response was accepted on 6/10/2010.
denotes best response, click it to go to the best response.
tags:  break, mp3 player, nasty words, officemate, whinning
 
1. myLot reputation of 98/100. nanayangel (5037)   ranked 1,343 out of 32,957 in life   2 years ago

Hi there Suehan!

Wow! I think that there's no easy way other than to tell her directly or I would just advise you to bring an mp3 player with you and plug it into your ears when going on a break. Just to ward of negativity brought about by this officemate of yours.


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Mp 3 player is a good idea.I normally like my breaks and sit down to have a coffee, but with her there I rather keep working.I have tried to speak to her directly but she just goes straight to the boss and says that we pick on her.

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2. myLot reputation of 97/100. peavey (7333)   ranked 6,711 out of 32,957 in life   2 years ago

Ask her, "So what do you have to be thankful for today?" Or "Here's a game: How many positive thoughts can you come up with?" Change the subject every time she starts whining. Ignore her and start a conversation with someone else. She should soon get the idea.


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

The funny thing is that I actually did try and change the subject a few times,but she talks over the top of you ,and she is so damn loud ,at one point I told her to keep it down and she got louder ,I do not think she gets the idea we don't want to listen to her.


myLot reputation of 97/100. peavey (7333)   ranked 6,711 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Wow... how about using ear plugs? wink


myLot reputation of 94/100. CJscott (2566)   ranked 934 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

One of the things that I say at times, is "Small minded people talk about people, while brilliant people talk about thoughts and ideas".

As for the way this lady seems, it is probably best to just take your break elsewhere, the negativity can adversely affect your entire life.

Sincerely and With Appreciation.


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

You are right there about small minded people. This particular lady can not stop bitching about another lady getting the permanent job over her and that was about eight months ago. Unfortunately we have to have our breaks together as we have to work out what work we have left and divide it up and I am usually the one to do it.Thanks


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

That sounds good as well.


myLot reputation of 97/100. peavey (7333)   ranked 6,711 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Thanks for "best response"! Hope you've found some solution to your problem.


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Your welcome.I have been lucky and not been rostered on with her for a few weeks , so a bit of peace and quiet for a while, heaven.


myLot reputation of 97/100. peavey (7333)   ranked 6,711 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Cool. Let's hope it continues.

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3. myLot reputation of 82/100. wonttakelong (2227)   ranked 3,655 out of 32,957 in life   2 years ago

what usually works for me is compliment her and lead her into another conversation topic
for example:
me-"your hair looks really nice today! did you do something diferent?"
her- "well no"
me- " you had to have done something because it looks diferent but in a very nice way"
her- " well I didnt do anything diferent just the same ol thing"
me- " are you sure? maybe a diferent shampoo or something? it looks really shiney/bouncy/healthy"
her-"no I didnt. just the same stuff I have been using"
me- "oh I thought made you tried (insert name of new product here). Have you seen that stuff?

and then we get into a discussion about that product which leads to other hair stuff
lay on the compliments thick
women are distracted by lots of compliments


myLot reputation of 97/100. knicnax (1483)   ranked 858 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

I totally agree with this one. Being a girl, I love getting compliments and it would sure make my day.

There are two ways to shut b*tches up. 1 is you have to be a bigger b*tch and 2. Be super annoyingly nice

I'm going for number 2, well, if you try being nice they'll shut up for sure. You just cant b*tch when there is so much goodness in the air. haha.

but these might work too:
> interrupt her with questions or requests like "could you pass the mug?"
> do a massive walk out. I'm assuming you have a pantry or lounge for your tea/coffee break, talk to everyone that when she starts b*tching, everybody will leave, or put on their earplugs(like one of the previous comments)
> suggest a topic that she could b*tch about that all of you can join (like how hot the weather is)
> go directly to the manager - as she does, and complain that she's not good for the organization's morale. Tell the manager that she's so annoying that it brings everybody's stress to peak heights.

Good luck :)


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

Good idea's but this lady's hair is always dirty and she has fleas, so it hard to find something to compliment her with .I have tried the being nice and she just does not get it that no -one wants to talk to her ,she usually interrupts every one else and is very loud. I actually told my boss today that I was depressed when I left work , and she asked me why and I told her,she has tried several times to tell her to tone it down,but she just does not get it,I think my boss is pulling her hair out as well.


myLot reputation of 93/100. MsTickle (12904)   ranked 689 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

If she has fleas then she could start an infestation. Some people are very allergic to flea bits or even just flea excreta. It only takes one flea to start an infestation. I'd be calling the health department.thumbup


myLot reputation of 100/100. suehan1 (2146)   ranked 11 out of 32,957 in life  2 years ago

She actually breed cats,so she always has fleas. I actually work in a hospital, so that maybe we can get her to clean her act up, as you are right that it could lead to an infestation and we certainly do not want all the patient to have fleas.

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