I have been waiting for him since last 7 years. Should I forget him now?  

No there is no one else in his life. Last year I spoke to him for 2 hours via yahoo messenger to make everything clear. He said that he cannot marry me for few more years maybe 5 to 10 years more because he has no alternative than to work and pay the debts. Since 50 lakhs is big amount, he is taking years to pay the debts.

Also, his parents are in critical condition and have moved to a village in India due to which they cannot face the world so strongly. This is what he told me. Now I write emails to him daily but he rarely replies me.

I think you are correct that I should get married by next year. I have already told God that 35 years is my last limit of patience for everything in life and I have not given up yet in getting it. 35 years of my life will be the boundary line for all the dramas of my life.

I still say, don't get married just because marriage is important. Get married because you have found this wonderful new guy with whom you would love spend the rest of your life.

That is right nishi.

I think you are correct, love finds out a way and he is trying to give up.

This is correct, The conflict is between heart and brain. Being wise I should not wait for him and being faithful I should wait for him. However, there is always a way between heart and brain which connects them both and I am looking for such a way.

I think, I should first remove him from my heart and then automatically new things will start entering my heart. That is how it is going to work because the answer for your last question is NO. Our relationship is not heading anywhere and I really do not want to end up in vain.

I have seen very dreadful life with no one supporting me in my life, I got non loving parents and non supportive world, but here on Mylot I am getting answers to all my questions.

Thanks for your post.

You have to be take control and be responsible of your own life. Your happiness should never depend on one person, not him and not your family. Being happy is your responsibility. Trust me, it won't be that long for you to get him out of your system. Set your mind first and your emotions will follow. It's scientifically proven that our emotions are wired to our brain, what we think is what we feel. It will take some time for you to get used to and adjust to a new life but it's all gonna be worth it. If you let him go, somebody else in the future will take that place and he's gonna be all worth it.

I think you are correct now because i cannot force my life to give me anything forcibly.

That was cool! A million of thanks for your post. You have mentioned it in steps as if you have a clear idea about how life is.

You have written everything in steps and I will do this because this will take me out of the grief and pain given to me by life.

1.I would suggest you do and take the time away from him to heal your heart and spirit.
I really need to heal my heart and spirit both, so I will concentrate more on work now.

2. You have given so much and have not received anything in return.
This is exactly what I was thinking today that he has not given me anything but has always got it from me.

3. Now it's time to love not him or anyone else (not just yet) but yourself.
This may be a painful process for you, but in the end it will all be for the better.
I want to love just myself and that is what I was again thinking that if I do not love myself first then I cannot love anyone now. My mental condition has become like that.

4. Once you have healed your heart and filled yourself with love, it's time to share that love to someone who really deserves you.

Great! Great! Great! When the healing is done, I will find the person who really deserves my love, or maybe by that time, my life will be able to fulfill the true love in my life.

Thanks for your post, so first I need to concentrate on living my own life instead of loving any other person who really does not know the VALUE of my love.

I'm glad you appreciated my post. I guess it's because I was in an almost the same situation as you were some time ago. I learned that before loving someone else, I should learn to love and value myself first. I surrounded myself with family and friends, and concentrated on my work. So at this point, live your life to the fullest and value your life. I will pray for your emotional healing.

Great advices @moonchild117.

But niship2009, I have different words to say. Perhaps you don't understand a man, I mean a real good man. As you have said, he promised to marry you, he promised to take care of you, and finish his MBA for better tomorrow of you both.

But he can't, is it his fault? You may disappointed or angry because he can't keep his words. But it's not what he want.

If he is a jerk, he of course would came to you and told you some years ago, to cried and told you they family was in the bankruptcy and begged for your love. But he didn't.

He is a good man. And he loves you. Because he know his situation now is hard to give you happiness. He chose to keep regret and sadness, hope you will find someone better someday.

Those are what I understand about him, even I never met him. So what do you think? Is he a bad guy? Who promise nothing and toyed your love? Have he had another girlfriend? He is pity. He was rich and now become poor with lots of debts. He loses his future. He also must give up the one he loves.

Love is not word to say from mouth. Because he loves you, so he lets you go. But what have to give him in his harsh situation?

But it's okay. If you choose to forget him and looking for other one to is better worth. It's not fault, it's him to choose so. But in this hard situation of him, do you think you should go away from him? Or support him?

Love sometimes make miracles!

akiong, I am not sure how you can understand people so easily but that was exactly his part of life. You have very well said that Love makes miracles, and I am still waiting for those miracles.

I have just now emailed him that I am going to think about my life first and then I saw your post.

I wrote a big email to him, however, if love really makes miracle then let my email be turned into a miracle because I am in such a worst state of my mind that if I do not forget him then I will become mentally sick facing all the worst situations of life.

That is the reason what @moonchild117 has written applies for me first and then what you have written applies for me later on because if I am not alive and well at this moment then nothing can happen in my life.

I need to love myself first. Thanks for your post akiong because that makes me remain unbiased and take decisions in life.

@akiong, first of all I do not have so much money that I can support him financially, and I am tired of doing this again and again. Even before this I was the one to help him to go to Canada, he did not have money at that time and I was the one to give him the money. He did not have money to buy clothes, so I purchased all the clothes for him. Though it was not a big amount I had to starve because then I did not have money to eat food. His parents were rich at that time and he had fear of asking money to his parents during those days. I had taken money from my parents and given it to him.

Later on, he says that his parents are in critical state of social life and there can be caste difference in out marriage. Earlier, he never said that and was quite bold. Things cannot be changed in love like this. For his parents he told me that this marriage cannot happen. This was another reason he told me why this marriage cannot happen.

Thirdly, he had told me that instead of getting married we can just live together which is foolishness of his mind.

Why is he afraid of getting married with me or why is he not able to face the situation? If this case remains the same then you tell me, can love make miracles where there is fear in love?

Niship, at each stage and age, our feelings differ. The boy might have wanted to be good with you for starters, realizing how difficult your life was. But he became a bit more mature. It is like a suitcase being filled with clothes. a few clothes would look fairly ironed. But if you try to overload it, some clothes could get crumpled. That is what happens to some of our feelings. I dont say I am an exception. You too may not be. The softer versions of ourselves start leaving us as we start grow older, if you'd noticed. When we are young we are very sweet with our parents, we dont mind taking those costly clothes and gifts from them, but when we grow up, and start earning, we start counting pennies, how much we are spending on them and so on.. I dont say everybody does it, but many people do! So you have to give room to the fact that he has changed. I think akiong is in idealist world, he is at a different stage, and that is his mental stage. As far as the guy you are waiting for, he has pretty much moved away. It would be difficult for you to recreate that magic between the two of you. So my advice remains the same as that of moonchild's.

Yes, Vandana7 didi, I want to see my side first because he is not seeing my side, he is seeing his side only.

Yes, I think that you are correct, my mother has also told me the same thing, however, I have seen a woman getting married at the age of 40 and she had her first child at the age of 41. Sometimes things go good with some people and sometimes it goes really bad with others.

Yes, I will surely inform him if I get married with another person and I am not sure how he will feel, good or bad.

There is 1 year gap between the two incidents.

I have never understood why life gave me such a worst life. I am very good looking person and people compare me with the Bollywood movie actress. Unluckily, my first marriage broke and after that when I got the comfort of this person, he also could not fulfill his promises. What is the use of being so beautiful?

When people say that I am very good looking I feel very bad within that life was not JUST with me and she always played games with me.