My family isn't all blood related to me, how about you?
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
February 18, 2012 11:28am CST
I just thought about this while responding to one of my friends here at mylot. She is related to everyone just about... and I have relatives that I don't even know. I wouldn't know my cousins if they walked up to my door and tapped me on the shoulder. One cousin I would know, because I was in her wedding as a bride's maid.... but we have not been close since childhood. Like me, she got married while still in high school, so after her wedding we had some kind of falling out that I don't even know why... other that she and her hubby joined a different sect of Christianity that none of us were interested in joining. She tried to get me to join and I wasn't interested and since then she didn't have anything to do with me.
I said all of the above to say other than my blood daughter, and blood brother... everyone else I don't even know. I have aunts and uncles I haven't seen for 40 years. I've got cousins that I haven't seen in that much time also.
However, I have close family ties with people right here on Mylot. I have a mom who isn't my real mom... but when my mom died I was lost. Then Mama Jo came into my life and she has the title of "Mommy" to me. Her son is my my brother... we are not related by blood, but we are closer than any blood relatives (other than my daughter) I've ever had.
I have a very close sister in Germany here on mylot, and I have another very close sister in Indiana and another sister in Canada. I always wanted a sister when I was a kid and now I have 3 of them... they are my true siblings in my heart. I have another friend in Nevada that I think of as a daughter in my heart. I'm so proud of all of her accomplishments and I'm as proud as any mother could be.. even if I'm not really a mom to her. It really warms my heart to have a loving family. I guess I invented mine since I didn't grow up with any show of love. My family loved me.. don't get me wrong... but they never hugged or said they loved us. That's important to me.
I know some other people who don't get close to anyone here or anywhere else like real family. They may have a loving family in real life, but those of us who didn't get what we needed as children can invent it for themselves in their life because I believe that God gave me a loving family of friends that have become like real family to me.
Your thoughts, Mylotters? 
2 people like this
10 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
19 Feb 12
well I don't inventing a family is the right would because family is a what comes from the heart, it can be biological, legal, but most importantly it can be psychological,
my family consist of my biological family many of which I have never met so to me they don't count then there is my friends at home, you know T is my brother that I never had. We have known each other since we were six and nine years old.
Then there is my online family, you of course are one of them but you are more special to me than just someone I know online, we share our lives together and you are like a real sister too me. We are closer than my own sister and I are to each other,
then there are my pets, yes animals are part of my family and my cats are my children.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
20 Feb 12
my mother was like that too, I was always compared to my sister, until I grew up and told her I was not my sister and I am a person and this is me, she stopped doing that after that.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
The best thing I like about your post is when you talk about your pets being your family. That's the way it should be. Rosie is our family too.. Ivan was my family too.. and my online sisters are very important to me. My Momma Jo.. is not my real mother, but she is the mother of my heart. She gave me something my own mother didn't give me. She likes me just the way I am. I don't have to pretend to be someone else to please her. My mom always wanted me to be someone else and told me so. "Why can't you be more like Roxanne?" That's what she always threw in my face. I loved my birth parents but I wasn't close to them because they weren't close to me.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
18 Feb 12
oh yes. i have a few friends online that seem related. I have one on mylot that is here now and then that i truley love and should have been my daughter. she is also my friend in several other online sites. 
anyway, im like you, had no siblings, at least you had a brother and wasnt always with my dad that loved me and showed it. my mom didnt like me at all. thats why my kids are so close to me though, because i wanted them to grow up knowing i loved them with all my heart. 
i have a sister online, ive never even met. we have been communicating for 15 yrs on line. isnt that something?@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
18 Feb 12
Wow! That's really something. To actually have a sibling you have never met. How cold is that to have a mother that didn't like you... makes me wonder ... we don't ask to come into this world... parents bring us in then get tired of us or whatever.
I overheard my dad fussing out my mother once. He was trying to get her to agree to put us kids in foster care. He said we were just nooses around his neck dragging him down. I remember hearing my mother say "By God, as long as I can put one foot in front of the other and I have breath in my body I will not give up my kids."
My dad was okay in his own way... but he had a bad anger problem. Us kids were not raised knowing what love was... love was a roof over your head and clothes on your back... that was all we could expect.
I never had a hug until I was an adult... I was in my 40s before I ever hugged my father.
1 person likes this
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Well my wife and I adopted our 3 kids through foster care so my kids are not bllod to me and my wife but of course we treat them ike they are. My 2 sons are biological brothers but of course there sister(Not Bio)isnt't. They know now that they are not biological brothers and sisters but that does not bother them at all. As they are getting older they are asking more questions about there real parents and we are telling them as much as we know.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Feb 12
That is awesome! You are a wonderful father for these kids. It's also important to be honest with kids that are adopted and tell them what they want to know, if you know. If I were adopted I would feel special because the parents CHOSE me. I think your kids are very fortunate to have you. Thanks for sharing that with me.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
19 Feb 12
Me too!
For me I have to many special people in my life that are far away from me in blood. Now there are blood related people that I better keep some distance. Maybe non related blood people are the brothers and sisters that we actually choose to have, while those we are born close to sometimes are just souls that came to adjust and forgive each other.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Yes, I agree.. we can choose our brothers and sisters... that is what I have done.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
19 Feb 12
PQ: I was reading all you have written -- assuming yourself to be another mylot member from India and thought "what happened?". After reading fully I saw your photo.
yes. you are right. we can have relatives in mylot itself for example I have aunty - hatley aunty and now PQ sister in mylot. great.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Thank you Ravisvan, I would also love to have you as a mylot brother. I love a big family. I also have Aunt Hatley... and Aunt D! I also have sisters in mylot.. I claim them as sisters because they are sister like friends.
@luisaR (452)
• Philippines
18 Feb 12
well ms. pointless, I never experience sharing one roof with a mother and a father. I grew up with other people but not a family, I was with them because I had to survive life when I was young. It was more of I was a helper while with them. I know some relatives on mother's side but almost none on my father side. Like you, I would never know when someone tap me or I bump into is a relative or not. One I knew because we had same surname on college days, and with some questioning, I found out we are cousins. I only consider one blood close family-my son. I guess he is the ONLY one I really can call my very own. I never experience having very close chat mate online so I do not know your feeling of having family through online interaction..but it's good when you can have somebody close over the distance. Did u have an eyeball thing?
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Did u have an eyeball thing? Do you mean did I meet them? I only met one mylot member. She is also a friend. I have a friend who was raised in foster care. She counted that lady as her mother because her own parents couldn't stay sober enough to feed her and take care of her. She went into foster care when she was 3 months of age. She stayed there until she married.
I have many online relationships with people... they are as close or closer than my offline relationships with people. I'm shut in the house mostly, so the Internet is my main way of socializing with people.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
18 Feb 12
Hi PointlessQuestions, I'm happy that you have found so many people to love and to love you. Family don't have to be blood related, at least that's how I see things. I was fortunate in that my blood family were close and caring of one another, but like you, I have those who are not related but are like family to me. Some of my cousins were much older than me and I didn't get to know them all well, and most have passed on now, though two are over ninety and still living. I have one cousin in the U.S. that I've never met. I have three sons and two granddaughters as well as stepchildren and grandchildren. Both my wife and I were married before and I'm very close to her family as well. It's good to have family to love and to know that there are those who care about you, whether blood related or not. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
18 Feb 12
That's wonderful, Pose, that you have such close ties to your birth family and that you also have the love of people outside of the family. I was named after my grandfather but my grandfather never was close to me. Other than saying "hello Charlene" he never spoke to me about anything. My nick name is Sally and that is the name I go by for all my friends and family members...
I'm grateful for all my online friends whom I have grown to love... I'm also thankful to feel loved by them.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
18 Feb 12
@PQ I was blessed to come from a family of eight. My parents were not the huggie kissie type either, but we all knew we were loved. I have three kids that are not biologically mine, but are mine nonetheless.
What is in your heart is all that matters. I have people I have adopted as family, too.
I have always loved my siblings, but sometimes didn't like them very much growing up. My husband is an only child and though he was happy as a child, I feel sorry for him for not having siblings to grow and do things with.
I think that as long as you love them and feel in your heart that they are family, then, that makes them your family, and you are truly blessed to have them.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
I agree with what you have said here... I have much family that isn't related to me. Many of my friends have become family to me. You are lucky to have felt loved as a child. My memories of my dad are full of love/hate... one of my most prevalent memories is that my dad wanted to dump us off on foster care because we were a noose around his neck. That's what he said.. he also said my mom was a noose around his neck.
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
18 Feb 12
A family need not to be blood related. Some celebrities would call the name of their show as a Family. You can call anyone as a family. They're the ones who make you feel that you belong to them and you're comfortable with them. A Family is the one who makes you feel that you're worth it!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
18 Feb 12
Exactly... I feel like I belong to my extended family... she is Mommy and my adopted brother texts me just to say hi and hopes I am doing good.
@TheShadowXX (100)
• United States
18 Feb 12
not sure if this is a serious post, of course not all your family is going to be blood related -___- heck, even your mother and father are not blood related.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
19 Feb 12
Oh...sorry if my discussion wasn't clear. If you had READ my discussion before making your response you would have known what I was talking about. I'm not talking about my mother and father not being blood related... Read something other than the title please before responding. It's evident that you didn't read.
