Jokes to confirm that I'm a Fool (One Liners)  | |  I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
I'm so hyper . . . [Said with a very dull voice.]
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
Four years ago . . . No, it was yesterday. Today I . . . No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I . . . No, I don't.
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn't pay for it.
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile= 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world . . . Perhaps you've seen it.
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| | | | | | 1.  nilk007 (8157) | 3 years ago |  Thats really great.
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| | | 2. HaiDude (73) | 3 years ago |  Are u a fool
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| | | 3. mcbota (2065) | 3 years ago |  Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor
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| | 4.  ricky1209 (1360) | 3 years ago |  Missing 'GOD'
Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, "Where is God?" The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, "Where is God?"
The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy's face and asks again, "Where is God?" The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, "We are in BIG trouble!" His brother replies, "We haven't done anything!" The younger brother replies, "God's missing, and they think we did it!"
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| | 5.  vikceo (1167) | 3 years ago |  yes few are really good. and there are some good books too that comes with a lot of one liners. some time back i planned to collect these but i just backed out due to the huge presence of these one liners.
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| | | 6. Serjas (1903) | 3 years ago |  A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti
car
which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since
no body
was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend
to
help him dispose it off. The friend advised him
to
have the mileage meter reading reduced to around
30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective
customer that it has been used sparingly.The
sardar
liked the idea.
A few weeks later the same friend met
him and enquired whether he was able to dispose
off
his car. The sardar replied, "Are
you mad? Who sells
a car which has done only 30000 kms!
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| yo momma jokes!
Some may say it's offensive, some say it's fun. No matter what your opinion is, you still have a... | |
just a joke!
i got this somewhere and thought it will be good to share it with you mylotters.
"life is the... | |
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