empty nest syndrome 20 yr old son joined the army, anyone know how to cope?

I can understand why you feel this way. I dont really know what would help. My mom felt this way when all of us moved out (we all moved out of state too) She said she cried alot and missed us all the time. Mom and Dad always wanted to adopt internationally so they decided to do that and now they have a beautiful little girl from China and she says that totally helped her. They are in the process of getting their second baby from china now. I hope you find some way to cope with this. Good luck!

You are not wrong, maybe depressed, not crazy. Sounds like you were very close to your son, all parents should be so lucky! He is doing his country a great service, be proud of him! Perhaps you could try doing volunteer work in a nursing home or daycare, soup kitchen, or somewhere you would be helping others and to occupy some of your free time and take your mind off how much you miss him. Take some classes or learn a new skill. And be thankful he has grown to be an independent adult, that is the result of his good parenting!

It is an empty feeling when all of sudden the house is empty. He is not there to eat with you, or tell you about his day, or just to have a chat in general. But you have to know what a good parent you are. You have raised him to be independent, and that is wonderful gift you have given your son. Have faith that he won't be posted to Iraq. You are not wrong or crazy, and you yourself will know if you are depressed. If necessary visit your doctor and ask him for something to put you back on track again. Join a club that involves your intrests, and maybe invite a few people around for a make-over or something nice like that. Keep busy. I hope you make many friends of your own, and the empty nest syndrome will not feel so bad. lots of luck!

The best thing I can think to suggest is to try to find an organization or hobby/activity to get involved with that will help fill your time. It might also help to find a local support group for moms of soldiers. They exist all over so find one and join! Then you will be surrounded by others who will probably be able to relate better to what you are experiencing.

Keeping yourself busy might help...a new job, volunteering, crafting, meeting new people, etc.
Anything to give yourself something else to occupy your mind and broaden a new image for yourself as a woman instead of wrapping all of your worth up in taking care of family. You owe it to yourself and your family to be your own entity who can stand on your own merits. It will make you feel better; help you help someone else along the way; and make your son not worry about you back home pining for him. That can make your child feel "responsible for your happiness" and that isn't fair to him. I have instilled in my only child that she is a major part of my life but she isn't the only part of my life and that has helped us both to appreciate each other and lessen my sadness at her moving away. God bless you.

He would have left eventually. What are you going to do when he get's married? When he goes to his in-law's for the holiday's? Oh no!!!! lol. I don't know what advice to give you, I would say maybe, go into his old room and look at his stuff, maybe that would make you feel him closer to you. Good luck.

P.S.
I am going to rate your topic +

When my daughter moved out a few years ago (I was single mom) I had anxiety attacks. Nothing too major but it was new and weird. It was not a good feeling. I get out more and build my life and take advantage of all the newfound benefits. My daughter could act more like a nagging mother than I did. Where were you? Why didn't you call? I was worried you know. LOL I'm not really sure what to recommend for you.

Whether he has a job or not he is your son and after having him around for 20yrs i can understand what you are feeling .My daughter of 22 has just moved our eventhough we still live in the same town it`s not the same i miss her terribly we were more like sisters the things we shared, the talks we had,the coffee`s we shared all those little things .I however do have four other children but they do not replace the one that has left . My heart goes out to you .My best advice is to find something you enjoy or even try some thing a bit challanging to pass the time of day .I look after others little children they keep me happy and i love them so .Make things for your son and send them to him .You have a beautiful relationship don`t let the miles between you make you feel so sad .Plan for when he comes home for a visit . god bless and keep you both safe until you see each other again

I am not going to tell you you should be happy he has a good job, instead I am going to tell you something far more basic. Kids leave their parents, you are lucky he stayed until he was twenty. I left when I was 17. You knew he wasn't going to be there forever, and he isn't going to come home and live with you again. Even id he came back to your town he'd probably get his own place, that is healthy and normal for a 20 year old boy. He needs the independence and the lesson in growing up. As for you, I am sorry you feel so angry and sad about this. My advice is go out and get involved in something. Join a sports team, a mentoring group, a book club, anything! Get out of the house and do things with friends. Eventually you'll enjoy the time alone. It should be relaxing. So take the girls out for a night on the town, go to a movie, anything, just do something to keep yourself busy and you'll find you are okay.

Coping with stress and depression..
Your child moving out of home is a significant stress.
Suggestions for coping include:
Acknowledge your grief (even if you feel that
no one else seems to understand) and allow
yourself to feel upset.
Rituals, such as funerals, help us to come to
terms with difficult changes. Create your own
rituals to help acknowledge your feelings.
Suggestions include planting a tree, or
redecorating your child’s old room.
Discuss your thoughts, feelings and future
plans with your spouse.
Seek advice and support from other friends
who understand how you feel, some of them
may also have experienced empty nest
syndrome.
Give yourself time to adapt to the changes.
Don’t expect too much of yourself, particularly
in the first few weeks or months.
Pursue your hobbies and interests now that
you have more time.
Some people find that keeping a journal is
helpful, while others find peace through
prayer. Do whatever feels right for you.
Put off making any big decisions – such as
selling up and moving to a smaller house –
until you feel you have adapted.
Keep up regular routines and self-care, such
as eating a healthy diet and exercising
regularly.
Seek professional help if you feel
overwhelmed.

hope that helped

related resource: self moving