Meet someone else halfway, kenny loggins  

One of the main suggestions when a couple is having difficulty is that they need to better learn how to "compromise." That the husband/boyfriend needs to learn to like doing something that the wife/girlfriend enjoys doing if he expects her to do something that he likes doing.
I say compromise is bullshit.
I remember sitting around one night with my friend Seth when this topic came up out of the blue. We both laughed and agreed that neither one of us was a subscriber to the concept of compromise. His theory on it was this: "I like to make movies. She likes horses. So what? I now need to make movies about horses?"Sounds silly, but at the heart of the idea of compromise, this is the main problem. We keep telling people that they need to "meet half way." That a husband needs to do "x" amount of things and the wife needs to do "y" amount of things for them to be able to get along well.
Sure, it might work for some. Maybe some of you meek motherfuckers who have issues with speaking up. Those of you who don't know how to stick by what you want. You know, those of you who don't know how to be a stubborn piece of crap like myself.
I have been accused many times of needing things to ONLY be my way. That I am incapable of compromise and difficult to deal with. I don't deny any of that. I am stubborn. I am incapable of what I consider to be the bullshit concept of compromise. I do love to get my way.
And I'm not the only one when it comes to getting my way. If any of you try and sit here and tell me that it doesn't matter to you whether or not you get your way, you're all a bunch of f**king liars. It feels damn good to do the things that you enjoy "your way." The experiences tend to be more fun overall if you are doing them in a fashion that you are familiar and comfortable with.
That's where the problem with compromise comes in. Compromise assumes that you must give up the way that you like to do things. Give up getting your way and come to a new way that is foreign to both partners. Well, I say f**k that.
I must be sounding harsh at this point but bear with me. See, I do not believe in compromise, but I'll tell you what I DO believe in.
Give and take.
Compromise asks people to go half-sies on what they want. "You like this and I like this, so let's do this instead to partially satisfy both of us." People might discover that they like something new, but let's be honest here. The actuality of that is rare. People know what they do and don't like. Trying to force them to do something that they clearly have no interest in is mean and torturous.
The brilliance in living with give and take is that it means each person gets to do exactly what they want. No one is forced to be 50% happy all of the time. Each person gets to be 100% happy at any given time. It means that they have to be willing to be 100% unhappy on occasion to please their partner, but at least they know that somewhere around the corner they are going to get their happy time again.
I'm a much happier person when in a relationship with give and take. Even if that means not seeing my guy 2-3 nights a week because he wants to watch sports and I don't. I'm not going to sit down and force myself to figure out the rules to something that I don't give a s**t about. And girls? They don't really want us there in the first place. I am willing to give up some face time in order to not be forced to sit through a football game. Even if I really miss him.
He, in turn, gets to enjoy his game without me interrupting and asking who is doing what and why and how and was that a goal? I know that there are men who get off on explaining the rules, but those are few and far between. Most just want to eat crappy food, bliss out on the game and fart without being told that something must have crawled up their a*s and died.
I also don't want my guy coming to a movie with me that I know he's not going to enjoy. I don't want him acting as if he needs to tag along when I go shopping if it's clear that he doesn't want to shop himself.
Give and take is more than just activities. It's a statement that you make, saying "I'm willing to give you 100% now if you can give me 100% on something later." And that for those times when that can't be agreed on, knowing that going your separate ways in doing activities doesn't end the relationship.
Compromise to me only ends up in setting yourself up for arguments in the future. If no one is getting what they really want, then how can anyone be really happy?But hell, I'm single. So what the hell would I know?