My Daughter Doesn't Want To Go To School  | | | |  It all started a few months ago. One Friday, she threw up and I had to go get her. They said she had been fine and then all of a sudden she was sick.
The next Friday I got a call at work, she was in tears and complaining of pain in her stomach. I went and picked her up, took her to the doctor. They couldn't find a reason.
After that she just didn't want to go. Always said she didn't feel good at school.
She cries every school day. I have asked if she's bring bullied, if someone is teasing her. If there is something she's scared of. I even went so far as to ask her if anyone is telling her to keep secrets and gave her the speech about how people who hurt little children go to ail and nothing bad happens to the person who tells, or their mommy and daddy.
Today my husband brought her by my work and yelled at me and made me brush her hair and talk her into going to school.
Her only alternative is to hang out at home with her Dad, and I can't see her preferring that over playing at kidnergarten without a really good reason.
I am at a loss as to what to do. Do you have any suggestions for me? She is only five, does well at school and loved it up until a few months ago.
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| 1.  Justme2007 (1439)
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6 years ago
| |  You said she did this on 2 Fridays is something going on ,on Fridays only. Is there anyway you can go and sit in her class on Fridays? Because there is something going on you need to find out what it is, before it get to late. god bless.
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| Vacant (2302)
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6 years ago
| | Hmm.. Maybe that is something to consider. I guess at 5 years old she wouldn't know that is was Friday.. which I suppose would lead her to fear the same thing, whatever it is on the other two school days too.
This may sound sinister, but before the holidays they had teachers in training, I guess that's what they are, in the classroom. One gave me the creeps but I think that may be because he reminded me of one of my exes.. But every time I start fishing around asking her questions, my mind goes back to him.. I just hope it's just me.
If this continues, maybe I will try booking a Friday off work (they hate that, lol, but i never take time off)..and sit in and see whats going on.. I just wonder my being present will affect what there is to see.
Earlier today I actually thought about 'bugging' her.
Her backpack has several pockets and I could easily hide our digital recorder, but then it would only be in the room, not on her..hmm.. maybe I'll shop for spyware,lol. | | | | | | | | |
| | 2. feliciamimmi22 (96)
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6 years ago
| | It sounds like something might be wrong at school. What does her teacher and the other adults at her school say. How is she interacticn with the other children? Does she have any friends to play with during breaks?
maybe she is being bullied but doen not want to talk about it? Is there any councelling available at the school? You couyld always try ringing her teacher and see what you can do together to solve this problem.
Wishing you and your little girl all the best! | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | 3. akumei1269 (1089)
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6 years ago
| |  The same trouble was raised by my child a couple of months back .The same efforts we made to find out the reason but he suggested many reasons . Afterwards we figured out that not all the listed problems were true .
We didn't yell at him but took him everyday . Our efforts at finding out the reason behind sudden disinterest in school also were given up . The pressure through insistence were stopped . But we on our own told him convincingly that any problem would be sorted out with the help his teachers . He was a little relieved at it .
On approaching the teacher and discussing , it was found that the reason was nothing but the fact that the teacher did not call his name specifically to recite the ryhmns. The day he was specifically called to recute he regained his lost interest .
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 GardenGerty (35316)
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6 years ago
| |  I like this response, you were consistent, and reassuring. There may be a small thing that is wrong, like getting in a little trouble one day, and feeling bad about it. Then when the parent begins to be VERY CONCERNED the child gets more worried. That is one thought.
Another thought, because I have read about this, and it happened to my first husband as a little child' but he did not understand it until later. I also had a child in a church class in kindergarten have a similar problem. Is something stressfull happening at home, that your kindergartener thinks she has to be at home to "protect" you from. For my first husband, his dad died. He wanted to quit school, felt like he had to take care of his mom, and afraid she would die too, if he was not home. The kindergartener at church developed his problem after his mom was in a fender bender. It is part of a little kid's tendency to "Magical Thinking". Have you been sick, are there concerns like that. I also have a third thought, as we just experienced it at the school where I work. In your description I can tell that you have a serious security plan at school. We just had a crisis procedure introduced at our school. The principal talked with each class about where to get hidden in the room if an intruder comes. How to stay out of sight of the windows and in contact by the intercom or of the laptop computer. This is a small town, and a small school. Even the oldest children were overwhelmed, and some began to suck their thumbs. Tis would be soooo scary for a little kid in Kindergarten. I think all the check in processes and lock downs are scary and confusing. Do see if your child can have some extra time with the counsellor, and reassure her that if there is a problem, you will all work together to solve that problem. Good luck.
related resource: home security
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| | 4. KrauseHome (18441)
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6 years ago
| |  Sounds like something happened at school, and you need to find out what happened and get her some help, so she will be able to attend school again. Maybe someone just said the wrong thing and scared her into not wanting to attend school, or someone is Bullying her. At 5 yrs. old, it could be a lot of things, but I think for the best interst involved you need to figure out a way to get her to want to go back to school so everyone involved can feel a little more at peace.
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| Vacant (2302)
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6 years ago
| | It would certainly make everyone feel more at peace. I feel like she's being traumatized everytime she has to go to school. SHe ends up upset. I am at work worrying about her and how her Dad's coping with it. He's here getting frustrated with her and trying to get her ready when she doesn't want to go. I hope we find a solution fast. | | | | | | | | |
| | 5. livingbychoice (6)
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6 years ago
| | If she used to love school, the only thing I can say is that something might have happened. I can suggest a psichotherapy, this will bring out what's going on. And tell her that you love her and how you feel about what is going on with her, that you only want to protect her and that things will get better once she let you know. Kids understand a lot more than what we think. You need to break through that wall that is not letting her tell. Talk to her teachers and to her closest friends. Become more involved with her school activities. Good Luck!!! | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | 6. deeds14 (547)
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6 years ago
| |  If someone has severe anxiety, it can cause them to throw up and be physically ill. It can be any number of reasons, from something really bad happening to just feeling embarassed that she doesn't know how to do her schoolwork. You sound like such a caring, attentive mom! That's so nice to see these days! If you do take her to a psychiatrist, which couldn't hurt, also make sure she sees a therapist. (Psychiatrists prescribe medication but generally don't do sessions of talking like therapists do).
You mentioned getting some spyware that your daughter would carry on her.. I'm worried that this will heighten her anxiety even more.. what she needs now is to know that you're there to listen to her without bugging her too much to talk, because kids tend to clam up then. She also really needs to see a professional.. there's nothing wrong with that! Good luck and tell us how it goes.
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| | 7. ernst111 (4134)
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6 years ago
| | She is only five so perhaps your daughter is not yet used to the idea of being away from her mother and father. She is still in kindergarden right? So perhaps she needs more time to adjust being out from home and having to stay for a few hours in the school. I think if you need to stay with her for some days at school, and accompany her there, perhaps eventually she may get used to the school's surrounding and might even gain friends. | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | 8. plumbingmonkey (21)
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6 years ago
| |  I agree with some others here take her to a counseler
I'll pray for you.
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| | 9. sandaday (53)
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6 years ago
| |  U CAN GET THE HELP OF A COUNSELOR WHO CAN NOT MAKE HER GO TO SCHOOL BUT ALSO FIND WHAT ACTUALLY SHE IS SUFERING FROM
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| 10.  katyzzz (2642)
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6 years ago
| | Yes, there is something wrong, you must talk to her about it, until you solve it. But, with a child, a little and often. It is one of the many things she must learn in life. | | | | | | | | | | | |
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