Jogging Shoes  

hahahahaha!!! or in my case thats to call my husband..bc after a jog like that, i aint joggin back..."taxi!!"
lol

Shrewd Investment
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer approaches her and says:
"We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
"Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

differences between you and your boss


When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

its really good

how do you keep a sardar busy all the day?
-pun him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner!

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

hahahaha.. me too.. jogging but no coming back,,

very fantastic joke

Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?
A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit)

Dad will never say
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal

Forest Gump goes to Heaven


The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest. But the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but...you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says St. Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second ...."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says St. Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name. Everbody probably knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks St. Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks St. Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name ...."