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myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people3 years ago

Not saying you should do this, however, keep in mind while filling out those applications that a tiny thing can set you apart and make you more memorable for hire or maybe not to hire. Your gamble.
This is supposed to be an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.KENT
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy Barsteward)
SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION:
Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?DESIRED SALARY:
£150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION:
Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It was a**** job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big boobs and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE?:
7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely.***Old People Rock!***


Senior worker
 
 
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dhouston (338) response was accepted on 2/24/2007.
denotes best response.
tags:  senior, job application, fill out, humor, work
 
1. myLot reputation of 81/100. msqtech (14401)   ranked 12,132 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

I think we answer a lot of stereotypes here but do we really get to the center of the problem or just poke fun at it.


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

Here on this site or in this discussion I started with humor for job seekers. I have answered a couple of my friends that are wondering whether they should leave a job without having another and wondering how to get a job, or haveing an interview and stressing over it. So with clarification, unless I did answer your question, I look forward to further discussion!!

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2. myLot reputation of 99/100. ElusiveButterfly (9413)   ranked 482 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

Geez, so that is what I have been doing wrong? Go figure. Can you believe that people actually do such things. Guess you know who never gets a call and who really isn't looking for a job.


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

Was amazed that this worked out. I could never be such a gambler. A couple of my friends have been soul searching about work and earnings. So I thought that this was odd enough to share!!

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3. myLot reputation of 98/100. rainbow (3928)   ranked 510 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

that must be why no-one will employ me, lol,
Ihaven't seen one of those before - love it hahahahhaha


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

No one can really figure out what is going to happen in any interview. The trick is to get the interview. I thought of this guy and was so proud of him, how he must have been right at it to have been soooo honest in his answers. If only we could try this with impunity. Glad to give you the gift of laughter!!!

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4. myLot reputation of 96/100. awesomehorizons (543)   ranked 1,229 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

This was great and quite funny. Amazing that he was hired, if this is a true story. The guy is a riot*laugh*.


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

Wouldn't it be great to meet him. Would be interesting to see if he is generally this fun. It was stated as true by someone on another site however I didn't find it when I googled it. Maybe it is or maybe not!

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5. myLot reputation of 99/100. suscan (1670)   ranked 367 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

he sounds like a enjoyable guy. This is pretty funny. It definitely makes him someone to remember.


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

yep, would love to meet him. Glad he got hired, seems like the right thing to do in this case!!

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6. myLot reputation of 92/100. dhouston (338)   ranked 6,025 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

A few wee changes for somebody like me...I'll skip the Swedish supermodel with the big boobs (I have big boobs and fail to understand their value), but bring on Robert Redford or Tom Selleck--just so long as he thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread!


myLot reputation of 72/100. Willowlady (8982)   ranked 2,917 out of 35,110 in people  3 years ago

Now that is the ticket!! Glad you could pull it around to your view. A couple of my 'friends' were working through their employment issues so when I saw this I shared it here!!

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7. myLot reputation of 86/100. dopey22girl (3140)   ranked 1,686 out of 35,110 in people   3 years ago

Lol that was really funny! I can't believe they hired him!

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