My 2 1/2 year old daughter doesnt want to ptty train, help please

I think the most important thing to remember here is that everybody's different. This can feel especially difficult if you had one child that was such a breeze to train and now one that seems much harder. My first child (very precocious) announced to me on her 2nd birthday that she would wear "diapies" no more because she would be "goin' to potty now." I hadn't even tried to train her. And, by God, she did it, just like that, in one day, with NO accidents. She is very stubborn and has a will of steel about EVERYTHING. So, then along comes her sister a couple years later and she just seems to refuse to cooperate. First, I hardly knew how to train her since I didn't have to train her sister, and second, I just thought it was a battle of the wills, hers against mine. I felt like she was punishing me or trying to manipulate me or control my attention (by always getting so much of it while I tried to train her and sit with her). Then my dad told me not to worry because he didn't stop wetting the bed until he was 13, and I thought I would KILL myself. Honestly. I cried. But, the good news is that our family doctor told me, not everybody's body is ready to potty train at the same time. And no matter how much they may want to (or not want to) it will pretty much happen when it happens. And no amount of stress will speed it up. In fact, stress will usually slow it down. I did relax a bit after that. What we did find to help was that we stopped putting her in Huggy Pull-ups unless we had to go out somewhere in public. They worked TOO well. They pulled the wetness and uncomfortableness away from her. (Which is fine if you are out, but at home, it delayed progress.) At night, we just kept diapers on her until after we learned that she had achieved total control. That took a while. In the day at home, we wore little cotton training pants on her and old-fashioned plastic pants over those. When she wet herself, she could really feel it and it was uncomfortable. She didn't like that. And the plastic protected her clothes, for the most part. We didn't let her sit on the regular furniture, because of potential accidents. We just told her she had to sit on her little kiddie chairs while she was potty training and until she got it right because we didn't want to make any messes to ruin the furniture. It made her a little mad, but I think it motivated her. She felt a bit segregated from her sister, (who was all lounging about with a big smile up on the couch and the easy chair.) I sympathize with you. It felt like forever at the time, but now, looking back on it, it wasn't so bad. Does your daughter have her own little potty or is she using a training seat on the big toilet and a stool to reach it? Sometimes this makes a difference. Try letting her make a couple choices regarding this and letting her have the feel of some control in the situation. That might help a lot, too. Also, I don't think I'd sit with her. I'd get her situated and tell her to let you know when she's done. Tell her that AFTER she has pee din the potty, you will be happy to sit with her and read a book or do a craft or whatever she likes. That way, she may try to perform to get the attention, instead of refusing to perform as a way to hold onto the attention. Good luck!

related resource: stool chairs

Sometimes with potty training there is more involved than ability. Some children are perfectly capable of going, but refuse to go, knowing it is something that YOU Want them to do. It sounds like she is asserting herself, especially the whole part about her peeing in her pants so she doesn't have to use the toilet. I think the best thing to do, is just give her a break. DOn't even mention it.. Pack up her underwear, and put out diapers. Dont' say a word to her about it for a month, and then you can casually leave her underwear out where she can see it. If she wants to wear it, fine, is she pees on herself, fine.. also make sure you let her help clean it up... She is problably sensing how important this is to you, and being a toddler, is deciding NOT to please you. It's problably just a phase, and once it's not important to you (or at least she thinks it's not) it will problably become important to her. ALso, what worked with my son was, he had a friend that was potty training, after spending a couple days with him, my son decided he wanted to wear underwear as well.

Oh don't worry!!

My sone was the same, he had no interest in using the loo or potty, i was panicing about it as he was due to start nursery at 3 years old and they wouldn't take him if he was in nappies. in the end he was 3 and a half before it just clicked....like a light going on and he started to use the toilet.

I think the very best thing you can do is just leave her be for now and try again in a few months. Bless her, In the end she will do it and it only takes a day or so to have it perfect when they are really ready to do it.

I had the same problem with my son. I start to set him on there once an hour. Sometimes I would wake him up and sit him on there.He would be too sleepy to try to get up and run. When he did use it I would clap (he really likes that) and give him a treat. Now he is going on his own with out me telling him to. I still clap for him sometimes because it makes him happy.

Buy some plastic vessels which look similar and try doing it outside the toilet. Once she is comfortable using the tools, then slowly you can shift her into the toilet.

Oh lord, I have no idea hun! I'm afraid I'd lose some serious patience here. Does she #2 in her pants?? I mean, this sounds gross, but it worked for someone I know. If she goes #2 or even #1...don't change her right away. Make her sit in it and feel gross for a while. Maybe it will convince her that she needs to go. Of course, don't leave her wet for very long or she could get an infection or rash, but just for a little while...to show her you aren't going to change her and treat her like a little baby just because she doesn't want to potty train. Show her she doesn't have a choice.

This topic really interested me because my daughter is 26 months and about as stubborn as they come!! So reading the other responses, I felt like they were talking about my child! Some days it felt like a battle of wills, and some days it felt like she didn't want to because*I* wanted her to. Now I don't even mention it. She's slowly starting to let me know when she wants to sit on the potty chair or the big potty (on her seat). Of course right now, she'll take off her wet or soiled diaper and come to me. As I'm cleaning her, she'll say "Potty!" and that means she wants to sit. Unfortunately, she is always telling me AFTER she goes, but she's starting to make the connection. My two boys were a breeze to train compared to her.
I wish you the best!

Ah yes I remember my daughters were really hard compared to my son. I have learned through two of them though that you will get no where with them until they are completely ready to do it on their own. Curiosity does not mean that she is fully ready. Just remember that when she does go on the potty to tell her what a big girl she is and maybe she can earn a sticker of something that she really likes each time she does go. My last daughter did the same thing that your daughter is doing and finally I decided that I would send her to my sisters for the weekend. She came home potty trained and we have not had to buy diapers since. Sometimes it is just easier for somoneone else other than the mother to potty train girls. I wish you luck and just hang in there.

I may be reprating some of what you've
already been told, but she may not be ready. I used to teach an older 2's and younger 3's class in a preschool, and only about 1/2 of them were potty trained.

If she is not ready, and she feels pushed, it might just take longer. Have you asked your pediatrician what he or she thinks? Good luck, it's hard!

I know your feeling like its never going to happen..but it might justtake more time.all children are different..if your first one was easy..this one will be HARD..LOL..thats just the law of parenthood lol..and boys are eassier to train in my opinion..I know many children that havent been trained till they were 3 or 4..I know with Sky..i had to dance and sing when he peed in the potty and we used stickers..but the one thing that trained him was that he wanted to go to school soo bad that i told him no school or bus unless he peed and poohed in the potty..and thats what motivated him..maybe you need something to movitvate her?Like maybe..there is something she really wants.. a new doll..doll house..i dunno what your pocket can afford..but something for her to thrive for..and put the pic on the bathroom wall or door and tell her if she pees in the poty and no more diapers she can get that as a reward? thats just a thought is all..good luck!!