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There's a New Barbie Doll! email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 99/100. crazynurse (5708)   ranked 9 out of 35,175 in people3 years ago

Lets have some fun myLotter's. After reading about these new Barbie Dolls, tell me which is your favorite and see if you can design a new one too!!

Now at long last some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors half-frames too)! Neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch
her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand held fan and tiny tissues.
3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy
front, too: muumuus with tummy support panels are included! 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
6. No More Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and liplines with a tube of Skin-Sparkle Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting
cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader isreally paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken Jr. With minivan in robins egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real CD of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
10. Single Mother Barbie. There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's shacked up with the Swedish au pair in the Dream House, and Barbie's across town with
Babs and Ken, Jr., in a fourth-floor walkup. Barbie's selling off her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit included.
11. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does twelve steps instead of dance steps! Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of The Big Book and six-pack of Diet Coke.
12. Post Menopausal Barbie. Poor Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book, "Getting In Touch with Your
Inner Self".

 
 
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SplitZip (598) response was accepted on 2/10/2007.
denotes best response.
tags:  barbie, barbie doll, barbie dolls, humor, aging
 
1. myLot reputation of 85/100. shywolf (3832)   ranked 2,046 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

Those are really amusing! I have to say that I really feel for the ideas behind some of them, but I'm not saying which, lol.. let's just say that I suffer from some of the 'problems' listed above. Like the flabby arms, lol. Anyway, some of these Barbies would definitely be better 'role models' for the youth of today than the real barbies that are out there! And then, some of them wouldn't*laugh* But they were all great to read about.

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2. myLot reputation of 85/100. SplitZip (598)   ranked 1,783 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

She may still be Barbie, but she's no longer a doll!;)

Let me try one:

Stay at Home Barbie
---------------------------------------------
Barbie got pregnant and dropped her successful businesswoman/gymnast/dancer/singer/doctor/etc. career to stay at home and take care of the kids, leaving it up to Ken to bring home the non-removable plastic sticker bacon. Has diaper-changing action and she cries about her lost youth when you squeeze her head. Stay at Home Barbie comes with apron, sweat pants, flat shoes and bottle of Prozac. Braty twins sold separately.


myLot reputation of 99/100. fjaril (4264)   ranked 17 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

Absolutely priceless! Today's award for wit and tongue in cheek humour goes to YOU, hands down. Thanks so much for that. I have renewed energy!!


myLot reputation of 99/100. crazynurse (5708)   ranked 9 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

OMG, split, that is hilarious! I so wish I had that type of creative mind. I love the apron, sweat pants, flat shoes and prozac!!! I spewed water all over my monitor!


myLot reputation of 97/100. AskAlly (2994)   ranked 4,567 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

I like the part about squeezing her head. Totally appropriate! Why am I getting a visual??? You are too funny!


myLot reputation of 85/100. SplitZip (598)   ranked 1,783 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

Oh! Thanks. "We aim to please!":)

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3. myLot reputation of 96/100. chaygylmommy (1822)   ranked 1,218 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

Those are TOO funny! I love the Post Menopause Barbie! FUNNY

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4. myLot reputation of 97/100. AskAlly (2994)   ranked 4,567 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

I AM hot flash Barbie! But what about the sweat under my nose. The soaking wet bra underneath the boobs. The trickle that runs from the back of the neck that eventually saturates your entire nightie. Hence making you get up and peel off your night clothes, shower and find a dry towel to lay on untill you can change the sheets the next morning. AND the most annoying sweat behind the knees.

Hot Flash Barbie just got a whole new line of accessories.


myLot reputation of 99/100. crazynurse (5708)   ranked 9 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

OMG, I am in stitches!! Been there and done that and have the t-shirt!

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5. myLot reputation of 92/100. mari61960 (3133)   ranked 1,135 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

How about Mylot Barbie, Barbie's found a new addiction. She hangs out on the computer all day discussing issues with all her friends at mylot. Comes with desk,chair,coffee cup and laptop with mylot screenshot.

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myLot reputation of 99/100. crazynurse (5708)   ranked 9 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is too good! You left out the hemmrhoid medicine!!

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6. myLot reputation of 72/100. wiessied (768)   ranked 6,688 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

Hom about this barbie doll it is called anorexic barbie,


anorexic barbie

myLot reputation of 99/100. crazynurse (5708)   ranked 9 out of 35,175 in people  3 years ago

Ok, that is just too good! Where on Earth did you find that picture?!

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7. myLot reputation of 92/100. daddyduke (658)   ranked 715 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

redneck barbie... comes complete with ate kids, a trampolean, one of them old skewl 12 foot satulight deeshes, a gud huntin dawg, turlet with flawers in it, Ken's truk "includin the gun rak," a can a skoal "long cut," and a kupel of fishin powls.

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8. myLot reputation of 98/100. emeraldisle (8978)   ranked 4,944 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

Those are so good. I've actually seen some Barbies done up with that. Personally I'd like to see a Domanatrix Barbie. Comes dressed in black leather, with whip, handcuffs and other assorted toys. Ken would be extra but he comes with a dog collar and leash:)

Heheh what can I say I have a wicked sense of humor.

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9. myLot reputation of 73/100. Lydia1901 (15711)   ranked 7,247 out of 35,175 in people   3 years ago

Well, I don't think I will be buying that anytime soon because I am not into dolls much.

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