Sexual Freedom During Divorce

I wud say that if you really love the one whom u r with nowadays then why to worry about ur husband... just go on what u feel and do what u want... ur husband will himself file for divorce seeing that u r so happy with others.. Also what are you going to lose to ur selfish husband??? I think nothing... And if any money that forget the money and move on in ur life...

First of all, I don't know where you live, so I don't know what laws apply to the handling of your divorce. But in California, we have no-fault dissolution. There is no concern about who is at fault for the marriage failing, from the court's perspective. More importantly, property is divided with no consideration of "fault," so your husband will not get more than he is entitled to under any circumstances.

Also, in California no one can be compelled to stay married. So if you want a divorce, you will have one and there is nothing your husband can do to stop the dissolution from being finalized. So the old notion of "giving" someone a divorce is patently ridiculous.

Having said all that, 4 weeks is not enough time to know that you want to be with someone else, so you need to put the brakes on the new relationship for the sake of your own sanity. Rebound relationships always fail. So you want to make a clean break from your marriage -- all the more so if you have children -- and 6 months after your divorce is FINAL, if you are meant to be with the new guy, you will be. You would be surprised how much you are going to change during the next several months. You won't believe it now, perhaps, but it is going to happen and the guy who looks perfect now may not look so hot 6 months after all the papers are signed and you receive that final decree from the court. Don't underestimate the emotional impact of ending a marriage -- even a lousy one.

One of the good things about you being away from your new friend in Cali is that it will give you a chance to take a step back to look at the relationship and evaluate it with logic as well as feelings.Would waiting until things are settled here destroy your potentially new relationship??

Please make your decision on what is best for you.We can ask questions and put our beliefs here,but whatever the decision is YOU will be the one living with the outcome.

By the way....welcome back!

I notice that you are from Canada, so perhaps there are aspects of Canadian law that we are not aware of. So if we take the situation as you state it:

1. If you pursue your California romance, you are afraid that you will lose your share of the conjugal fruit, be they children or property or both.

2. Your estranged husband has a belligerent attitude towards the divorce.

As lodi.. the other poster mentioned, it is unwise to underestimate the impact of separation and divorce. It does sound like you are in an "on the rebound" phase.

Nothing intrinsically wrong with that. However you need to take great care to ensure that any associations that you form do not come back to haunt the divorce process.

You obviously are in no position to marry until the divorce decree is final and executory. So in the eyes of the law you would still be in an adulterous relationship, though the mitigating factor of your having lodged the papers will always prevail (assuming you get your husband to sign) or if your lawyer is able to initiate ex-parte proceedings.

All I can say is that unless your husband is a person with enormous resources to engage people to obtain evidentiary information about your activites - you are ok unless you are indiscreet.

Hope this helps.

don't mess with laws. You'll end up more unhappy if you carry on an affair with another while you're still trying to get a divorce. YOur husband threatened you and that should have given you a clue that he's not about to give up easily. It's not a matter of love but of pride. Don't underestimate your husband.

Take things slowly and see what happens. Why worry about things that may or may not happen. My advice would be to take each day as it comes. And what is meant to be will bve. Good luck.

I don't know.You are very stranded.I think that you have to start everything afresh.You must come up with the better way from this.

I THINK U SHOULD WAIT FOR U HAPPINESS AND DO NOT RUN FOR IT OTHERWISE IT WILL GO FAR AWAY FROM U ..LET U R DESTINY TO TAKE SOME DECISION FOR U....TRY TO GET THE DIVORCE SOON AND THEN GO FOR LOVE..........IF U HUSBAND'S LAWYER PROVES UR ADULTERY THEN U WONT GET ANYTHING AFTER DIVORCE AND I THINK THAT WHTS U R HUSBAND ULTIMATELY WANTS........

Is it really adultery when u are separated, wich I am guessing you are?
Anyway it is a good idea to not RUN into something new. Just try to take it easy and just wait until u are completely free - that will give you some distant to it all atleast!

I feel that if you like this guy very much then you should pursue your happiness but you have to ask yourself if you are willing to lose whatever you have for this person. You may want to think about that before you pursue this new relationship further. Do you have children? If I had children, I certainly would not want to lose them. I think it depends on what you have to lose if you start a new relationship while in the divorce process.