25 Signs You Are Getting Old  |
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Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m . is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good sh!t.”
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
“I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh sh!t what the hell!”
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1.  lizlibelle (100)
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6 years ago
| |  I think my favorite one was "You drink at home to save money before going to a bar." because I'm only 24 and I do this already! LOL
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| 3. nana1944 (1246)
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6 years ago
| |  A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks.
Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
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4.  hockeygal4ever (5360)
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6 years ago
| |  The first one alone means I will be YOUNG forever!!!!! LOL If it's green.. I can kill it!
Thanks for the laugh!
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5.  beckyomg1 (3124)
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6 years ago
| |  that was really cute, i can agree with a bunch of it.
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6.  Willowlady (8976)
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6 years ago
| |  So here I am. Kind of in the middle I guess. lol
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Don't think I will ever buy Science diet. Have never eaten at Taco Bell. Don't do the wings anway. Guess it is pretty close to the passage of time in our lives though.
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| 7. caribe (1876)
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6 years ago
| |  I definitely am in the "getting old" category, but then, I already knew that. I could probably add a few things to the list. Thanks for the laugh of the day. At least when we get old we don't lose our sense of humor. I never smoked any of my plants though. I guess I am from that generation, I just never did it.
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| 8. kimlot (4365)
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6 years ago
| |  Awsome joke! Unfortunatly very true to any of us who are over 40! Thank you for the laugh and have a great day!
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 cfrdjlilbrat (199)
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6 years ago
| |  Over 40? i'm under 40 and most of them apply to me. *shakes head* what in the world happened? i got old somewhere and i swear i don't know when that happened.
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| 9. lauczi (886)
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6 years ago
| |  wow haha! that was funny. do u have more of those?
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