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 Ok, most of you know about my crazy mom. Well my sister in law (married to my brother) is having a baby shower today at 7 pm right? Well the problem is my mom is being childish and spreading rumors about me and has pretty much ruiened my relationship with my sister in law. Now sis won't retrurn most of my calls and when she does she is rude. I have tried to call my mother for the last 2 weeks and she refuses to answer the phone, but she talk everyday with my sis. Well, I told sis I would go to the baby shower, but I don't feel as if I would be welcome or even comfortable. I was not thrown a shower by any of them nor did they give me any presents. So what would you do, would you go to be polite or would you just say to h*** with it and not go?
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 CatEyes (1898) | 3 years ago | Thanks for the input:) | |
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| lucy02 (4472) | 3 years ago |  I think that's a great idea. No use being misereble and you've done your part.
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2.  cjkicks (113) | 3 years ago |  I am a redheaded Italian and I can tell you I would go and Hold My Head Up High. I would present my gift with all the flourish I could muster and I would talk. I would tell anyone who would listen what my Mother was doing. I would say it loud enough for everyone to hear. I would let my sister-in-law know that I cared for her and her baby and that I wanted to be a part of their lives. I would tell everyone that yes I may have made mistakes but there is anyone who hasn't and if they still didn't want to have anything to do with me that that was their problem to deal with. You can pick your friends but your relatives are yours for the rest of your life.
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| sagesunicorn (652) | 3 years ago |  Some people that use to be my relatives are not now and will never be in the future my relatives, disowned them, don't you know.
So, they are dead to me and I don't care what I am to them! I could never understand this s**t about unconditional love for family, some people just do not like each other whether they have the same blood or not! Why lie and pretend?
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| 3. yanjiaren (5097) | 3 years ago |  well they never bothered with you did they...sometimes you get fed up of being too polite..and out with a begging bowl ..i have had my fill of bowing down to family members just to be trashed by them..they will accept your gift but not your presence? not fair is it?
sorry but the way i feel now and what i have experienced..if they are like crap to you..ignoring them is the better option..if your mother is putting your sister in law above you then keep a polite distance..you don't have to be rude or nasty..but as they say the rare is dear..when they see you are not running after them and being so submissive..they might turn around and think about their bad actions..if not..then they don't deserve your time..family is people that care..blood is not always enough..
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4.  Willowlady (8982) | 3 years ago |  I thought that this kind of thing was handled. You seem to have wasted your time. I am not sure what else has to happen before you go on with your own life. A card at this point to the sister in law and then you are done. I guess the direct answer would be I would not go. Would be done and have my own party! Hoping only good things in your life and please take care of your and yours!!
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| CatEyes (1898) | 3 years ago | I emailed them to say I will not be going. I was polite, but direct. I got my self so upset that I had a flair with my colitis. I have not seen my mother since Christmas and it seems to make me feel better. Thanks for the reality check. | |
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| Willowlady (8982) | 3 years ago | Good idea and I hope that you can find the happiness that is waiting for you without the toxic comments and attitudes. You have treasures to take care of in your children and your health to make whole. Those people had nothing to help you with, only pull you down. Mayhaps one day it will improve with them. | |
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| 5. annie2478 (45) | 3 years ago |  Don't feel bad I have family members the same spread rumors about other family members what can you do but be annoyed. If you think you feel uninvited and uncomfortable I just wouldn't go. So I would say the he** with it.
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| 6. theproperator (2141) | 3 years ago |  I think I would call the sister-in-law and say that you don't want to ruin her shower with the tension that your Mom has caused, so you are going to bow-outof the party. Make arrangements to drop off your card/gift at another time. If you still have a good enough relationship with your sister-in law, maybe you could go to lunch together at another time.
But I really don't think you should have to suffer through the shower if you don't want to go.
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 nana1944 (1247) | 3 years ago |  Your choice of not to go is, to me, probably the best. I am not aware of your situation as I am not on enough to really follow it but your decision to not really see your mother seems for what you have written here, has helped you physically. How long has your sister-in-law known your mother? Surely it has been long enough that she is aware of what she is doing. I wouldn't, if someone else said something about someone else, take their word as gospel. Especially if that person has been known to spread crap. Just take a gift before hand if you want and do not go to the shower. Save yourself and your sister-in-law some trouble. Do not worry about your mother.
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| CatEyes (1898) | 3 years ago | My sister in law has been in the family since 1998; over 10 years. So I think she knows how she is, but doesn't want the drama? My mother picks a person she likes for a while, somone she can kling to treats them like her daughter, saying they get a long way better than her and I. Well, fine let them get along, she just kicks them to the curb when they stop helping her or when she gets tired of them anyway. I am pretty much through with the WHOLE family, not just my mother; they are sooooo impossible to be around. | |
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| 7. cremechese (4503) | 3 years ago |  I don't know. I hope you've had a talk with your sister in law at least so that she knows whatever rumors are being told are not true. If you are unable to straighten it out with her, though, I don't think I'd go.
Maybe you can talk to your brother about the whole situation. It sounds so uncomfortable. Good luck with it all.
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| CatEyes (1898) | 3 years ago | I can't get ahold of her, my sis that is. So one can only assume she does not want to have anything to do with me. Oh well. Life is life, and perhaps God wants it this way. | |
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| 8. cajunmomma (537) | 3 years ago |  I wouldn't go nor would I even give them the time of day. Why worry about them, when all they are doing is making you look bad in other peoples eyes? I would go on about my business and when they show up or call wondering what happened to you then you let them have it.
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| 9. vprinn1955 (61) | 3 years ago | If she has a gift registry that you can purchase online then do that. It would be mailed to her. You could attach a note to the present to explain why you will not be there. If there is not an online gift registry buy it and mail it with a note. | |
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| 10. gabs8513 (19870) | 3 years ago |  Well if I am really Honest I would not go. I can't be doing with things like that. So I would not even bother with any of them, I think it is awful behaviour and I think you should just not bother with them to be honest
I am really sorry this is happening to you and I do hope that it will stop soon.
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| | Rubber Ducky Baby Shower Baby shower ideas, themes, party favors, gift ideas and Free Shipping. www.pricehot.com
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| Baby Shower in a Box Everything for your shower in 1 box - plates, cups, dec. Only $39.95. www.perfect-babyshower.com
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