the mirror has two faces  

The cigarette's smoke almost occupy the whole area. About thirty plus cigarette butts are filling up this detailed and cleared ashtray. The desk is dirty- full of ashes and coffee spill. But luckily, none of the little roaches has the guts to run over the desk to taste the coffee spill. Coffee, it is cold but the good tastestays. It's already and axactly one o'clock in the morning and I am still having this blockage. I can't sleep and I can't even think of something to do. The songs, on my fave radio station, kill the silence and help me alot. I love the atmosphere today. All alone. People are sleeping. No one is singing- I mean none of the neighbors are having a "KARAOKE PARTY." People are probably dreaming. I hope they are dreaming about good things. I wonder how are the people, those people I know. I don't know how will i start my story. I can't think of how will I introduce this person, who i know above all else. Anonymous, that's the name of that person. she's a she. Honestly, I am not concern about her at all. But I only know one thing about her- she's the loneliest and saddest person I've ever known. Anonymous is the girl that I thought of having a happy-go-lucky life. I also thought that she's strongto handle unexpected circumstances. But I was wrong about her. She's weak. She loves to throw jokes and laugh. But I can say, she's carrying a heavy burden inside her even she smiles. She's kinda tricky hiding tears in her eyes. Yup. A river of tears. she's good at it. she's such a great pretender. The irony about her is she always insists about freedom of speech. but she can't really show her emotions. All I know is coz she's hurt. Hurt coz of the people she cares so much for. She's scared of the fact that there might be the time she'll leave the most important people in her life- her family. She's scared coz of her friends for the fact that there might come a day that she wont be able to see them again. She's worried about this person that she loves- her best friend. She's sad for not having her literally. whom she only depends on her strength. She's also worried about a person, a true and honest friend- a soldier who has so many things to fight for. anonymous just hopes that her friend will be able to come back home safe and sound with his family and friends, even not with her. Lastly, she cares for a guy, but for her, it's too complicated to love him coz if she wont avoid that feeling, she'll only hurt herself and someone. And she made a promise to herself that she will live happily ever after... alone. She just misses her peaceful life. Without waiting for someone and without expecting things from someone. She just want to take back her normal life- contentment even without satisfaction. This is funny. now she's being dramatic? How come? haha... But I guess she's ok now. She's just making things complicated and even got carried away by those sad songs. Oh well, what do you feel about her? Do you think she's strong? Do you also have this kind of life?