18 Year Old Dating 30 Year Old

This may not be the best answer, but stop doing everything you are doing. She is 18 and honestly I can tell you from experience unless you completely back off, you will just make yourself miserable. I would stop answering the phone when she calls and put space in between you. She will not she the error of her ways until she sees them for herself.

Stop paying for anything you pay for and send her a letter stating that if she wants to be an adult, she is responsible for supporting herself. She will come around eventually, it make take some time though.

I also suggest getting councling for yourself to help you through this rough time.

It is not fair that you are stressing everyone else in your home and punishing your 10 year old son for something that he did not do. You should also not raise him like he will make the same mistake (my mom did this with my brother and ended up screwing up his life because of it).

Ok...this is coming from me...a mom of a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old...but, i am a mom. She is an adult. I know it's hard for you and I do believe that this man is 12 years older than her, but they have obviously had a relationship for 2 years now. My husband is 15 yrs older than me..granted, we met when I was 26 not 16 or 18, but still. However, if her relationship is coming in between her and her school work, then you should set up rules. My parents always told me that I could stay home as long as I wanted, BUT "live in my house, live by my rules". Also, if you are paying for school, STOP! I know, I know...easier said than done, but why waste your money? If she's going to fail out..make her pay for it. She can get loans and grants and keep going. Make it HER responsibillity. She is almost 19! Back 40 years ago, people her age were having children and keeping a successful household. Do you pay for her car or anything? STOP! I am not saying stop this stuff because she is dating this guy...I am saying stop this stuff because she is obviously not grown up enough or mature enough to take care of her business with her GPA and all. As far as the guy goes...why are yall so against it? Have you met him? Maybe he would be great for her.
Now, on the other side...could her actions, GPA, crying, screaming, etc be because of all the stress she has been thru by trying to hide this from yall? Maybe she's torn...she loves this man, but knows you and her father won't accept it. Maybe this is why she's been going down in grades and all. Is she normally a good girl? Good grades, good head on her shoulders? If so, cut her some slack. Maybe this relationship could be good. I know it's hard esp with the ages they are right now. I wouldn't be happy if my kid came to me at 18 dating someone 30. But, she is an adult and--in all reality--she CAN do what she wants. But, if you disapprove so much, then don't back down. Make her realize that ALL decisions come with circumstances and she has to face hers. Good luck to you. I know that I didn't help much, but maybe I gave you another side to think about.

This is a tough one. I think that as a parent you need to stand your ground, if she would be living in your house rent free it's not alot to ask that she respect your rules, especially since you have a younger child in the house to be concerned with. I hate to say it but sometimes at that age they need to learn lessons on their own. I know I was that way when I was 18. It killed my mom to watch the decisions I was making, but when it was all said and done she was there for me. I could imagine this hurts youas a mother, but it sounds like tough love is the only way to go. The more you try to control her the more she's going to want to do things to frustrate you. Good luck to you, and let us know how it works out.

Stick to your rules,my house my rules, remember to tell her, I Love You but this is starting to reflect on your brother so Yes by all means you're welcome to come home, I Love You and as long as I have a home so do you BUT HONEY RULES ARE RULES. By letting her know you do love her she'll get thinking well at least my mom cares. My best guess is it may take some time but she will be back. Thank You for being a good mom. Tough Love is hard to practice and I honor you for being able to do it.

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Shes 18, you can no longer control her life. I know a guy whos dad is 20 years older than his mum. When he was born his dad was 45ish and his mum 25ish!

Well if your daugter is 18, then she is an adult, and you cannot stop her living her life the way she chooses. She is old enough to work, earn her own money, drink, smoke, vote, get killed in a War, and get married without parental permission. I think it was brave, and honest of her to tell you the truth, and prefer the grief she is getting now, to living a lie. If I were you, I would let her see this guy, and the factthat she is no longer upset or stressed, will hopefully mean her grades at College improve, and things get easier for your son too. If you push her away now, things will get even worse between you two, and she may feel unable to turn to you in the future if thimgs go wrong. Of course, things may not work out between her, and her boyfrend, but then they equally may not work out with a boy her own age - it is called life, and growing up, and she will probably have her heart broken several times before she finds the right man for her. Hope that helps a bit.

related resource: adult living

why are so worried about an 18 year old dating? she is old enuf, let it go!!

they will split up sooner or alter its a good experience for her. You cannot prevent her from falling in love, that is crazy.

but dont let her set the rules of your house while she is there of course, but please dont expect her to follow your rules on who she is to date outside of the home!!!

no wonder you are stressed, she was good enuff to tell you, so mind your business, let her live and learn, It is not the guy that is causing her grades to go down, it is her.

well first of all, theres not that many yrs between me and my bf he is nearly 26 and i just turned 18, we have been together for nearly 3 yrs, and at first my parents didnt agree with it. but i know if they didnt back off i would stop talking to them, as i really inlove with my bf and id choose him, so they ended up giving up. but then they saw the good side of him (they got told he was a bad person) i think you just need to let you daughter know you are there for her at all times, no matter what so if anything does go wrong she has the support she needs. i spent all my time with him and when i couldnt i use to be on the phone to him.

If she lives in your house, its your rules she has to live by. Stop paying for her college/phone/gas/car if she is on probation. 1.25 is awful, she should be doing better.

That is extremely inappropriate for a manager that much older to be in a relationship with her, let alone with a co-worker. 28 years old to a 17 year old? Thats just weird. If she is so in love with him, tell her to go live with/off him and see how that goes, it'll ruin her life and she will learn her lesson.