|  Alright, this one is kinda long, so bear with me.
A young man is driving down a long, deserted road, when suddenly his car breaks down. He recalls passing a small farmhouse a little while back, and seeing as how it looks like rain, he decides he should ask the man if he can stay the night in his barn.
Well the guy walks all the way back to the guys house, and knocks on the door. An old chinese man answers, and the man requests to stay the night. The chinese man says "Alright, I'll let you stay in the guest bedroom on the second floor, but you have to promise to keep your hands off my beautiful daughter. If I catch you fu*king around with her, I will be forced to give you 3 Chinese Tortures."The man quickly agrees, it doesn't sound to hard. How beautiful can his daughter be?Well, the man takes a few steps inside, and is greeted by the most beatuiful girl he has ever seen in his entire life. He immediately fell in love. Late that night, after the father had gone to bed, he snuck into the girls room and they had sex until midnight, when the man finally retired to his room.
When he woke up the next day, he found a very large rock on top of his chest, making it very hard for him to breathe. A note on the rock read: "First Chinese Torture: Rock on Chest".
The man laughed, this wasn't bad at all! He lifted the rock, and with all his might, threw it out the window.
Unfortuneately, as the rock was going out the window, he noticed a SECOND note, on the back of the rock: "Second Chinese Torture: Rock tied to left testicle."The man screams, and quickly, without thinking, jumps out the window after the rock in an attempt to save his nuts. But, sadly, on the way out the window, he saw a third, final sign on a tree branch outside the window:"Third Chinese Torture: Right testicle tied to bedpost.":-D
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