Who Has the last say?  |
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 Between you and your mate.......
Ok, you just moved into a new place, and you are moving furniture in, who in your house hold gets to say where things go? All my life, in my family anyway, it has always been the female, I mean, Dad would ask, "Where do you want this" and it would go where the female wanted it, and no questions asked. I guess to me, it is like him saying ok you are the one that has to look at it more than I do, you are the one that has to clean it, you are the one that will be sweeping around it and all. Even in all the other places I have been in myself, I got to choose where I wanted things.........Till now that is.
WE are getting the rest of our furniture Thursday and we are deciding where to put the things. I am saying where I want things, which to me, are more practical, I mean, I do not want the tv right in front of the window, one due to afternoon sun comming in will make it hard to watch tv, I would like my plants there, so they will get sun, no........he is wanting the tv there, well, we put the tv there, we will be running into trouble if we watch it, we will be blinded by the sun! or we will not be able to open the drapes at all! What will end up happening here is it will go where he wants it......then he will want to change it after he see's what I am talking about. I am just feeling that this is not my house at all, I have no say what so ever about anything because he over rides it. And to me, it doesn't seem fair, And I being a b!ch? Am i wrong? How would you feel ladies? I mean heck, there are times that he acts like more of a female than I do!!!!! eeeeek
Ok, that is my rant for the day! Thanks for listening
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1.  teison2 (4765) | 3 years ago |  Is it not possible to fine some middle ground? Can you not both decide together? I think you should tell him just what you told us. You cannot go on feeling the house is not yours at all, and that you have no say! That is not acceptable!
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| trinidadvelasco (9110) | 3 years ago |  Once again I say, that we are sharing the same insight on this one, teison. Husband and wife will have to talk it over and ease it out.
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| thowell (2771) | 3 years ago | Oh no, he will have the last say as far as where it does now, but then he will want to move it because of the sun and all, he is just the type that doesn't think ahead, and will not give in! | |
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2.  kurtbiewald (2588) | 3 years ago |  I sort of figure as long I have a space or two thats comfy, thats all I need. If it was up to me we would have furniture homemade from logs I think.
Someplace to sit and watch TV. SOmeplace to sit and use the PC. And a comfy bed. Thats all I need. Oh yeah, a corner for my shop too.
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| 3. trinidadvelasco (9110) | 3 years ago | I believe that husband and wife will agree on things including this task of deciding where the furnitures shall be located in the house. If I were you, I will try to talk to my husband about how I feel at the current arrangement of furniture, telling him why and how would I prefer them to be. Kind of getting a concensus. Try it this might prove effective. | |
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| teison2 (4765) | 3 years ago | You are a wise person:-) | |
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4.  Ravenladyj (18010) | 3 years ago |  Being the headstrong, stubborn, whiner that I am LOL I decide what goes where LOL besides my husbands theory is that since I'm the one who spends the most time here at home I should have the house how I want it set up which really does make sense LOL
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| thowell (2771) | 3 years ago | lmao!!! That is the way I thought I was!!! Man, he has me beat at that one!!!!!!! That is what I was telling him too, look, I am here all day, you work. I have to look at it, you don't. lol | |
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| 5. kebpete (6858) | 3 years ago |  ok, i agree with you i have my way and he has his,and we discuss it but most of the it wines up going where i want it to because when he sees what i mean how some thing will look when it is actually there he will you were right,good luck.
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| thowell (2771) | 3 years ago | Boy, I wish it were like that, I mean we have been through this before, last place, he wanted something somewhere I forget now, and I said no, it would be better here due to the walk way........well, he put it where he wanted it, then, found out what I was talking about, ended up moving it a week later!! lol | |
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| 6. TeresaK (8081) | 3 years ago |  In the situation you described, my husband would leave it entirely up to me to decide. Decorating decisions, and other things to do with household matters, are all mine.
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| 7. blueskies (848) | 3 years ago |  Hubby and I don't argue over these things anymore. If he is being stubborn and refuses to see the logic of my argument, I will "give in" and do it his way. Then, after a while, he will see that the arrangement does not work his way and he will change it to what I had originally suggested. The important thing is to not let him see you gloat when this happens. Just smile and help him move the items where they need to go. He'll appreciate it and you still "won" in the end.
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| 8. micmanager123 (4) | 3 years ago | i think i have not achieved as much as i want to and hopefully i will be able to achieve that which i have not achieved | |
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9.  primecrimson (1312) | 3 years ago |  Sometimes we need to understand other first before we let ourselves be understood. This is the best way to keep your head calm and cool. it will also prevent any misunderstanding that may led to a more complex arguement.
Just remember to put yourself cool under pressure. That's the best way to make your relationship stronger and better.
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| 10. retardedrugrat (3665) | 3 years ago |  Is it not possible to try and find a compromise between the two of you over this? Maybe if you have some tall plants you could put them on the window ledge and have the TV in front. That way he could have the TV where he wants it, and the tall plants would block out some of the sunlight.
Myself and my partner discuss things between us. We move things around till we both like how they look. It's important that we both like how things are and I think its important that you remind your partner of that.
If he overrides you and has the TV there, just refuse to help him when he wants to change it LOL. (Just joking)
I hope that the two of you find a compromise. It's not nice to start off life in a new home when you're bockering about what looks best where.
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