can hating your ex help you move on?  |
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 I've always believed that I should undergo that "hate" stage before I could completely get-over a failed relationship. I have a friend who can't get over her ex because all she can remmeber about him are the good things, the way he made her feel, etc.
I know we should learn to forgive, forget, let go and move on. But if you undergo that "hate" stage, moving on would be so much easier. His text messages would only annoy you, his presence would irritate you, and so on. I'd like that better than missing him, thinking about the moments we had...
How about you? Did you have to hate your ex before you could completely move on?
I did. But all's good, we're friends now. Lol. Because after the hate part, you forgive, then tehre's nothing left.
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1.  oublim (420) | 2 years ago |  hating yr ex will not help u to move on. moving on in relationships means forgiving the person and not hating him or her. when u hate a person, it only builds up yr hatred for certain category of people (especially those the same type as yr boyfriend/girlfriend) No point of hating the person, the chinese used to say, if u r able to take up a relationship, u should be able to let it go too
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 manzky (213) | 2 years ago | Hey that's the first time I heard that Chinese saying... Well, what if hating your ex is just part of the letting go process? I mean, you're still gonna forgive him in the end... | |
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 djmarion (3228) | 2 years ago |  hey parul, you did not respond to the discussion. lol...you can make your own post and promote your sites but when you open a discussion of others you must leave a comment or response on it.
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Hate Browse a huge selection now. Find exactly what you want today. www.ebay.com | add comment |
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2.  babaye (391) | 2 years ago |  I don't think hating your ex will help you move on. It is always good to let go of all your heartaches etc against your ex. Just don't mind him that's it hehe. I think the best way to move on is to tell yourself that it was your ex lost and not yours. Just forecast the wonderful life ahead of you and that's it.
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | Hmmm..the self-esteem booster technique.=) Yep2 folks, this helps a lot. Many of us lose our self-esteem when somebody dumps us. That's because we think that we're not pretty enough, or that we have a lot of flaws..etc. This further brings us down. It really helps to see yourself as someone great when dealing with a break-up so that you will be stronger. | |
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Hate Your Job? Get an Online Degree Better jobs and salaries start here with an Online Degree in Business, Education, Nursing, IT and many more, request information from our accredited schools today. www.onlinecareeredu.com | add comment |
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| 3. sarahdell (80) | 2 years ago |  well, it is normal to have a sort of grudge in failed relationships.. even in other aspects, we can't avoid but to have some sort of bitterness when we fail.. but regarding the issue of moving on, i think it doesn't really help if you still have that "hate" within your heart.. it will just give you stress.. at least for my case, i know i have moved on if i don't feel anything (excitement, love, or hate alike) when i see that person.. in moving on, you just have to learn how to accept that some things are not meant to be.. you may think that you deserve better, but you should also ask yourself if you deserve the situation.. you should also take in consideration the reason for the break up.. well, for me, i admit, i hated my ex boyfriend before i completely got over him.. but the "hate" is just a phase.. at least in my case, it is not involved in my "moving on" process..
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | Ok, now I get it. Hate being just a phase and not being part of the moving on process...Well said. Yes, I think it is right to rid yourself of any emotion (sympathy, love, hate) when trying to move on so that you won't get mixed up or confused as to what you really feel. | |
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| 4. null_if_i81 (98) | 2 years ago |  The Irony of it all is that you end up cursing away at the person you know you love deep inside.
The HATE stage is natural. It comes along with denial and everything else. It comes along with the true incidents of love.
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | Yeah!! I know there are stages in that. I think theres a denial stage, then a hate stage, then a getting even stage...Agghhh I can't remember..Anyone a Psych student here? Hehe... | |
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| null_if_i81 (98) | 2 years ago | I'm really a sociology major but I've had my lot of psychology academic and practical (2 ex's psych majors, both from the premier STATE University, you can imagine O_o, plus I went to take the psych GEs a bit too often than I should have^^ heh).
the stages come in and out and may recur if i remember my readings correctly.
Thats healthy and normal but it develops into bi-polar disorders or acute schizopherenia if left unchecked and/or untreated (worse cases). | |
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | Ok, now THAT is scary. I am not familiar with a lot of technical psycho lingo but schizo is bad enough for me. Whoah...didn't know breaking up could be this scary. | |
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| 5. Ravenladyj (14930) | 2 years ago |  In my experience hating just holds you back...mind you your friends pining is holding her back too of course which isnt any better.....I've never had to "hate" an ex to move on, but I'm not big on hating anyone really....not for somethign like that at least
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | That's good. Not being big on hating anyone is really good. It rids you of many negative energies. | |
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| 6. mizrak07 (509) | 2 years ago |  I'm not that sure but I think in a way it helps, because the tendency is you won't sulk. If you hate your ex it's easier for you to accept that it's the end of the relationship. The earlier the acceptance the faster you can move on.
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | See, now that's exactly what I mean! But there's always a time for forgiveness later on right? I mean, hating per se, really does help you accept. | |
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| 7. minty3 (502) | 2 years ago |  I don't think you have to go through the hate stage. If a relationship fails, the two individuals must accept responsibility for their roles. Secondly, accept the reasons for the break up and concentrate more on the fact that its for your good and this will help you move on. hatred draws you backwards while forgiveness moves you past your mistakes, hurts and forward into a better future. try it.
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | I love the point that you made there.."hatred draws you backwards while forgiveness moves you past your mistakes.."
True, true...We should all take responsibility for a failed relationship and learn from our mistakes. | |
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| 8. disvachic (5910) | 2 years ago |  With my ex i really didnt hate him,but being around him made me unhappy.SO i rather just not have him around for a while to get over him.I didnt like the things he did,but if i just hate it probably would have made me even more miserable.
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| manzky (213) | 2 years ago | It would help if you stopped seeing you're ex for a while because seeing him all the time would only make it difficult for you to move on. | |
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| 9. jossml (413) | 2 years ago |  Hate is useless for every person that want to move on a grow, it is important to be without hate, hate lead to health conditions and you can end up in the hospital and without peace, so is better to forgive and start a new life.
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| 10. browneyedgirl (790) | 2 years ago | In the best of circumstances, hate should not come into it. Unfortunately, sometimes it does. Either way, we all move on at our own pace-and each pace is different; as well as each "ending" of a relationship. | |
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 mypeace (268) | 2 years ago | hating no, but telling yourself that its all over will help. Get a new person, and forget him. | |
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