If you had a terminal illness, would you tell your children?

In short,no I wouldnt.I am a grown child,and I probably would want my parents to tell me,but I am not sure if I could tell my kids,were it me that was in that position.
That might display double standards on my part,but c,est la vie,or not as the case may be.I dont think that I would tell my wife either,unless it was really obvious.
Im sorry about your mum,she sounds like she was one brave lady.

sometime we make the decisions to protectare children beacuse we think they cant handle it or cos we dont want worry them and these are the hardest decisions we probably ever have to make beacuse they involve someone or people who we care about.

i think she left you a last gift it might be hard to except right now but you should the memories of her and put them in a place were they can be seen by all what i mean is talk to other about this.

i think you are well good for sharing such a difficult subject with us and i shall keep you and your family in my prayer to lift up your spirits.

Ciao 4 now

I think I would. I think my son has the right to know. My grandmother had terminal cancer, and while just about everyone in the family knew, I was kept in the dark. I knew she had cancer, but I had no idea how bad it was the last 6 months or so until about 2 weeks before she died. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I also felt a little betrayed. I know she wanted to spare me the pain of knowing, but I can't help but feel that if I knew how serious it was, I would have taken every opportunity to spend as much time as possible with her. In hindsight, I probably should have known, and I may have been in a little self-imposed denial, but that denial was pretty much encouraged by everyone else in the family.

So yes, I do think children, if they are at the age where they can comprehend the illness and the seriousness of it, should be told.

Last year my mom discovered she had cancer. She had a surgery, she made treatment (chemio, radio...) and now she seems to be ok, even if she has to make a lot of exams every 3 months.
It's like my life ended the moment she told me she had cancer. I spent 7 or 8 months crying (alone, when we were together I always seem to be happy and positive) and now I feel... nothing. Even if something beautiful happens to me I am not able to enjoy, I am only costantly scared about my mom's healt.
My grandfather, that I loved like a dad, died 20 days ago. Even if it's horrible to say I don't care, I only wish she was safe.
I think that your mom really loved you with all her heart, because even if she would have been comforted telling you what she discovered she let you live as long as possible untroubled and happy. Don't feel bad, I'm sure you couln't love her more than you had.
She is in the most beautiful place she could ever be now, she is in your heart, and you will always take care of her and you will always have a loving thought for her, every day. You will never let her alone.
I'm sorry I can't speack english very well, I wish I could to make you feel all my simpathy and support. I immagine that there aren't right word to comfort you... if I was there I think that I would just hug you.
ciao:o)

I am so sorry about your mom. I think the family should be told, then everyone has time to cherish every moment they can with their loved ones. They have time to make special memories. I would want to know, and I would tell my family. I do understand how your mom wanted to give you a last gift by not telling the family. But I am sure you feel cheated some way by not knowing. Cherish the memories you do have.

I do have a terminal illness, and yes I did tell my children. I can live with my cancer for a longer time because it is slow growing, but I will always have to fight to stay alive and stay one step ahead of the next battle. I am sure your mother had her reasons for not sharing it with you. Everyone handles it in a different way and maybe for it was best to make everyone think she was fine. I have always insisted that my loved ones treat me as a normal person, not like a cancer patient and they have done that for me. It helps me to forget once in awhile. To look at me you wouldn't guess I have liver cancer, but for those who know me, know the pain and struggles. But I needed the support of my children and I needed to be honest with them. Of course you do wish you had of known, but just know your mother did what she felt was best for all of you and that she loved you very much.

I would have to say yes I would tell or would want to be told about it.
I think it would be better because I would know that my children would have time to cope with the fact that
I'd be gone soon. Instead of having them grieve so badly for me when they find out at the last minute.
I think it would be worse for them that way.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother, sending blessings your way.

if it is necessary then i will tell oterwise not

your words are so touching...yes I do believe it was her special gift for you...but I hope she wasn't alone when she died...I think I would have done the same...I mean, I am a doctor and if I can preserve my mind, I am sure to better understand my health than my family...so If I ever discover I have to die, well I would try to spare them and not give them all the worries and sorrows...but there is one thing I hope...I hope I could have someone to rely on...someone to caress me and hold my hand at the end of my life ...I have seen so far this scene many times in hospital and I hope it would happen to me..find love at the end of my life

Hi there. If I had a terminal illness I guess I would tell my husband first since I think it would be unfair for him to not know about it, worse to know it from someone else other than me. Then maybe from there, I'll get some strength in telling the rest of my family.

As for being on the other side of the table, I think it would devastate me when someone really close to me tells me that they only have so and so months to live:(