 Hi, I am a 37-year-old male and got married to a woman with a 16-year-old daughter now, 17 years old.
She stayed at her dads place for a while till a year a go but because of her behavior and bad attitude, they didn’t want her to stay there any more. She has moved in with us under conditions but neither been accomplished.
We asked her to pay NZ$ 50.00 p/w rent and told here that if she want to stay with us she needs to have a job because she refused to finish her school year, so we got her a job and she earns about $ 1700.00 pm. She recently changed jobs and working for telecom NZ earning about $400 p/w.
The problem we have is: She is very disrespectful, yelling at us, swearing using foul language; she is never on time in paying her rent. After work she will go out with here friends, come back late after midnight. Some times, she will have her friend over to stay the night (sleeping together) without even asking us our permission or she will do so in a secret way.
Went we approach her in a nice way try to talk to here, she will starting screaming and yelling, use abusive language towards us, so loud that my neighbors can here the arguments. She will say “ Please don’t talk to me now I am late for work”, or “I don’t feel good”, or use one of her hundreds of excuses.
She leafs here room in a mess, can’t even bother to make up here own bed. When she is been told to clean it up, she always says ye, Ye, ye, sometimes she will reply by saying “ I promise to do it later tonight” then the next moment she is gone!
She will have no respect in coming in late at night, our small dogs will start to bark and she will be saying loud to the dogs to “Chat up!!”. Because my wife and i are working day or night shifts and many hours, steel we need our private time but this disrupt us both from our rest and from privacy. Many times, she will just barge in to our bedroom with out even knocking on the door. She leafs the kitchen in a mess, don’t do here washing, seldom with a lot of imploring, she might only do the washing, but only hers, cause other are too much. Her mum is use to do here washing, cleaning up here room and bathroom, cleaning up the kitchen after here mess. Many times she forgets to switch of the lights or close the garage door after been told so many times not to do.
She will come straight from work go on the phone for 30 min or longer. When been told to get off the phone, she will reply by screaming, “ Waite I am busy on the phone”
We told he to pay her rent on time, we asked her to sign a debit order to avoid late payments, we also told her to clean here room and bathroom, to switch of the lights after been used and to clean the kitchen after she had been using it. We also told her to do her own cooking for she is expecting us to come from work, tired and still cook for her because she says that there is nothing to cook in the house.
Saara (the daughter) thinks that all the food must probably be pre- made or pre cook so the only thing she has to do is to heat it up and eat up. Well in our house, we don’t cook like this. We believe in freshly preparing a meal that we like and we do not pre heating or pre cooking our meal. Now She doesn’t like the way we cook or what we eat.
The latest thing that she comes out with after we told her to buy her own type of food and place it in the spare sideboard was that she replied and said “ Well, I am paying my rent,!” so there for there must be food .I explained to her that the rent she is paying doesn’t include her groceries, so she got angry, yelling and say “ O, now you telling me I cant eat at home !!” bla bla bla she will go off!
I want her to move out but she says that she is paying rent and she has no place to go!
We don’t want her to stay with us any more because she doesn’t been able to compromise in any way. Her behavior causes me and my wife to have arguments, my wife is so stress every time she is at home and the atmosphere at home is so bad cause we (me and my wife) try to life a Christian life. The daughter refuse to follow a Christian life, we have several time encourage here to come with us or to go with her friend or friends.
She was previous involved in a youth group at church but this was most times used to meet with other boys and going out on the wild night life. I know that she is laying to us but she is very good in convincing her mum to believe her.
A few months ago, I found a porn video in her bedroom and other sex toys. (Hand cuffs, vibrator) She convinced her mum that it was her friends video accidentally left in her possession. HA HA HA . I know because I had to clean up her room for we had possible buyers coming over to inspect our house.
So, can u please give me some advise what to do!
Thank you
Alex loxton
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