Ready made family

I agree I have told my son this often..and thankfully he is not ready for a family and wont be for a few years

Well thankfully, he isn't married to the girlfriend at least not yet. So right now he's really under no obligations to her or the child, it's just a casual thing I am thinking. But worse case, if he does get serious with her, it's only one child, not a houseful. I agree at 16 he isn't ready to be a father figure, especially for a child that's not his. Hopefully he tires of the family life soon and moves on. Just keep giving him your opinions, and he should get it soon!

I'd be careful about nagging him too much about it. Teenagers have this tendency to look like they're not listening even when they are, for one thing, so he probably hears you. He may not agree with you, but he hears you. They also have this tendency to get fed up with nagging and go do exactly the opposite of what they're being nagged to do, just for spite.

You've made your opinion known. Stepping back gracefully and continuing to be supportive of him will get you further than nagging.

He is so young, it probably won't last with the girlfriend. It would put a cramp in his social life having a girlfriend with a baby. Hopefully he gets the message about finishing school and going on to college.

Why is he thinking of getting married and stuff? If he loves his gf what does it matter if she already has a baby (altho i can understand why you wouldnt what him to get married right NOW). Be careful how much you nah about it though. I have a family that love to give me "advice" about what to do with my life, and its so annoying.

Its really hard to tell a child who to love. We hope they don't get involved and finish school, but when they are legally an adult we can't say too much. but your son is 16, he is still a child and she is an adult. You can nip this in the bud and not let him see her. You still have control over the situation when he is still under age.

I have a a guy friend who was seduced by a 19 year old when he was only 15. What if it were reversed? If it was a 15 or 16 year old girl, would we have any qualms about telling the adult to leave the child alone?

I think that you did the right thing. You were giving your 'grandmotherly' opinion. Which is you 'right' to give. On the other hand (mine) my daughter is nineteenwith a baby and finding it hard to keep a boyfriend for same reason. No one wants a ready made family. BUT I have told her it is not the time for that, she needs to get on and accomplish 'things' first.

I agree with you he is way to young to even think of getting involved with a older women that has a baby plus herself to think of. He really needs an education now a-days to get any where in this world and its getting tougher all the time. I'm surprised that she is even interested in him. She must be in-mature to even think of involving him in her situation with him only being 16. What is she thinking. I can understand his end. He's young. But she should know awhole lot better then him how tough life is to raise that baby plus herself. Maybe she is the one that needs the adult conversation.. Tammy

you are absolutely right to tell him that. however, I would be very careful with how I talked to him about this...you don't want him to run to her as a refuge. I would suggest sympathizing with maybe the reasons he would like to be with her, but point out all of the positive experiences he would be missing out on if he were to get serious about this girl (or any girl at his age). he has many values which can happen no matter how bad his current situation might appear to him(problems getting along with parents/siblings/teachers/whatever). good luck.

If he really likes his girlfriend and he thinks she is the right one, it is a good thing for them to get marry, it is not a problem that his girlfriend has a baby as long as your grandson accepts this.
But the problem is just like what you say,whether they are able to support the whole family or not,if they do not financially stable, they may not live happily and may end up with a lot of problems. Marriage is not something like you can do it if you want, you need to have planning and preparation in order to have a good marriage.
I can understand your worry....