computer jokes

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You Know You're Too Serious About Computers When . . .

maribel1218 @maribel1218 (3084) • Philippines 16 May 07

You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution. Someone tells you about a great new program and you're very disappointed to find that it's on TV. While...

cadillac

computer jokes

13 responses •

6 people

on judgement day

forjosie @forjosie (1544) • Indonesia 7 Mar 07

At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000...

3 responses •

1 person

bill meets satan

forjosie @forjosie (1544) • Indonesia 7 Mar 07

Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me...

computer jokes

jokes

5 responses •

2 people

programmers and bulbs

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. "We'll document it in the manual." None. It's a hardware problem. 1.000000001. Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project. Four. One to...

alto

computer jokes

Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

1.Thou shalt not worry about bugs. Bugs in your software are actually special features. 2.Thou shalt not fix abort conditions. Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort...

computer jokes

3 responses

CIA - Computer Industry Acronyms

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can't See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct...

computer jokes

pcmcia

scsi

God and Windows

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

1.In the beginning God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word. 2.And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good. 3.And...

computer jokes

Genie and the Programmer!!!!

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer...

computer jokes

1 response •

1 person

My Dad Is a Piano Player!!!

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you,...

computer jokes

1 response

Life Before the Computer!!

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy You hoped...

computer jokes

Programming Languages are Like Cars

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain. FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road. FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford. FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard...

automatic transmission

cobol

rahuldmhatre @rahuldmhatre (736) • India 11 Feb 07

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect....

computer jokes