Does your other half stiffle you?

United States
April 21, 2007 8:34pm CST
Does your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfried take all your space? Never wanting to be without you constantly? Do everything and go everywhere with you. Spend all the time in the house in the same room too? How do you feel about it?
8 people like this
18 responses
• United States
22 Apr 07
My boyfriend is definately like that. But now he travels for work, so I get a break from it sometimes which is nice.
4 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
I can understand what you are saying. Take care my dear friend.
3 people like this
@marciascott (25553)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Yes sometimes we need a break. I agreee with you. you appreciate him more.
4 people like this
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
22 Apr 07
I love spending time with my husband. He works 12 1/2 hours or more a night and I feel like I dont get to spend enough time with him. So we do everything together. I dont feel like it is a bad thing. I just love his company. He is my best friend.
4 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
That is awesome dear. I am very happy for you. How long are you married?
3 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
22 Apr 07
Oh no my husband gives me plenty of space and so do I, as this is my second marriage and we agreed before getting married that our marriage would not be like a jail where we were tied to each other and we do have trust in each other that both of us are able to go and see our friends or go out anywhere we like just as long as we know where the other one is we do not mind at all. Even when we are at home we still have our own space, I prefer it this way so that we feel comfortable and appreciate the time that we do spend together.
4 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
You are very lucky. Thanks for responding sugar. Have a nice evening.
3 people like this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
22 Apr 07
no, we both give each other space. I do like to spend more time with him when he's not working but has too much to do around the house,yard and such.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
I understand that. Thanks for telling me.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
22 Apr 07
No way and thank goodness for that. That was only in the beginning when we first met. Everything was new and different.LOL I use to go out with somebody like that and I couldnt stand it. So of course that didnt last to long.
• United States
22 Apr 07
Thanks Terry, for telling me that. But, what do you do if you love them, and they are like that?
2 people like this
@marciascott (25553)
• United States
22 Apr 07
My husband and I are always in different rooms, he will be in the Bedromm watching TV. that is his favorite place. laying down and watching TV. I will be in dining room on the computer. I have my own bedroom and he has his. sometimes I will sleep with him maybe once a week.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Wow, that is awesome girl.
2 people like this
@brokentia (10395)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Actually, I got a little annoyed with it today. OK, annoyed is not the right word...more...bored. My partner and I are often together in the same room when he is home. Unless he gets sucked into his computer world...and then I walk away to another room and he does not notice that I am even gone doing anything else. But today, he wanted me to sit outside while he threw the football back and forth with the boys. Now, there were a few entertaining moments. But I also sat there very bored. I couldn't get up and play too because I have been ill today. But sitting there was no fun either. And when I went inside and he noticed, he asked me to come out again. *sigh* So, I did for a little while longer. Then finally, I went inside and stayed inside. I was asked by a child messenger if I were coming back out and my answer was no. ha ha Because I went upstairs to lay down. Now, he couldn't force me to watch them throw the football or shoot hoops because he knew I was not feeling well and went to lay down. Thank goodness for little things. BUT...to his defense...it usually does not bother me. And, for the most part, when he is nice, I enjoy spending time with him. :)
3 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Thanks a lot for sharing that with me. My hubby is like that. I love him, and love to be with him, but sometimes I am bored while he does his thing.
2 people like this
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Okay, I'm going to answer this honestly, but with a lot of guilt. I feel very stifled right now, but it isn't my husband's fault. He is terminally ill and needs a lot of care. I do get out some and he is the best patient--very understanding and very appreciative of everything that is done for him, but I do get cabin fever! There are so many things I would like to be doing, then I get mad at myself, because I know we don't have a lot of time left with each other. Sometimes I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel very selfish so I beat myself up, then I get on a pity pot because I can't do what I want. Sorry, your question really struck a nerve. If I had any sense I would erase all this. This is one of the things I like about myLot, though. I can spill my guts every now and then to perfect strangers who also happen to be friends. Thanks for listening!
3 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Oh honey, I am sorry to hear of your troubles. But, it is so natural for you to feel that way, so do not think bad of yourself, I don't. God bless you.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Margie-- We definitely went through that phase. When we first started dating my husband and I couldn't stand to be apart. Then, we got in the habit of always doing everything together. to be honest,it was awful. Both of us wanted to do other things, but we felt like we were supposed to spend that time together. So we usually endedup doing nothing vegging in front of the television. Eventually though, we got the courage to say to one another: I need some time. Now, he understands that I still love him even if I'm in another room and working on my own project.
• United States
22 Apr 07
My husband wants me constantly, and we are married 30 years. I told him that he smothers me, and I need some space. He tries, but still wants me all the time, and it falls back to the same ole thing. Oh well. Thanks for shariing that with me moonshadow.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 07
I know what a royal pain it is, but think of it this way, Margie...after 30 years, you're still his favorite person to be around. Yes, it's stifling,but it says a lot about how deeply your love each other. I hope my hubby and I still love each other that much in another 20 years.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
22 Apr 07
No he doesn't and I don't to him we trust one another and we know that we both need our Space and respect that That is what I love about my Man so much he respects everything about me as I do about him
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
That is fantastic, and I am very glad for you sugar.
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Having grown up as an only child and therefore spending a lot of time alone, I have a big need for time to myself. Fortunately, my hubby understands and respects my need and gives me plenty of time to myself. We enjoy each other's company immensely, but have varied intersts. For instance, he knows that I enjoy surfing the internet and i know that he enjoys yardwork. He is currently out working in the yard and of course, you see what I am doing! But later today, we will sit together in the sunroom and talk and have coffee! He is a wonderful, wonderful man!
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Well that is a great way to handle it. But, what do you do if he wants to be with you every second, and go everywhere with you?
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
22 Apr 07
My husband is like this. Usually it doesnt bother me but sometimes I need alittle space. He sometimes makes me feel guilty for using the computer when he is home but It's okay for him to be on it all day. Oh well good thing I love him.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
I have the same problem. Why do you suppose they want us constantly?
1 person likes this
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
22 Apr 07
No my hubby and I have as much space as we may need from each other but most of the time like to be together or close by. And maybe my view will change when he retires but that is a few years away yet! lol
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Actually it feels like he's hardly ever here. He works 60+ hours a week, plus we run a business/es from home. So, when he is around and free, I really treasure our time and it's a joy to be together. I have been in past relationships though that were very controlling and stiffling. I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted all for the sake of my partner. That is a bad thing to do, because when the day comes that you have to face life on your own again, it is very very difficult. Also, I found that having a controlling partner leads to resentment, and alot of it over time. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without being asked, "where are you going, or what are you doing?" That's when you know it's bad. Great discussion topic. +++
2 people like this
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
15 May 07
I'm kinda lucky I guess, my fiancee took a job as an OTR truck driver(he hates it lol). So, he can't follow me around the house :) But, he used to be sooo bad about calling allll the time, drove me nuts!! There's only so much to talk about you know? Sounds mean, but I really am more of a loner, and I hate talking on the phone :) He's finally gotten the hint though, so it's not as bad. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets a regular job and he's home all the time lol....guess I'll manage.
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
15 May 07
My husband does give me the space I need when I need it. He is good about that. My ex-husband however, wanted to be where I was all of the time. He always wanted to hold my hand, or touch me somehow when we were together. I am not the most affectionate person, and he knew that, but he always wanted to touch me, hug me, put his arm around me so on and so forth. He was so needy. If I wanted to go somewhere he wanted to go to. I couldn't even take a shower by myself without him wanting to shower with me too, it was that bad. So, it is a relief when my husband now will ask if I want to be alone, and if he wants to shower with me, he will ask me if that is ok. He is very considerate about my time.
@Lifez2short (4969)
• United States
15 May 07
Oh wow everything you described here is me and my hubby to the tee. He is always up my hiney and rarely away from me. He has a jealous streak and I deal with that everyday. I hardly ever get away from the house and when I do he is with me. It really gets annoying sometimes but I'm so used to it after 7 years I just deal with it.
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Yes, my boyfriend always wants to be with me, no matter what I'm doing, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just like him. I think it's because we've been alone for much too long, and other things have happened in our lives, so being with each other constantly makes us feel safe and secure. I love the fact that he always wants to be with me. It makes me feel wanted and needed.