Getting everyone to sit down! Is it possible?
By Woodpigeon
@Woodpigeon (3710)
Ireland
April 29, 2007 10:20am CST
Some of you may be aware of my recent tirades about my menfolk being completely incapable of aiming their pee into the toilet. The urine is landing on the toilet, behind the toilet, around the toilet, above the toilet, and under the toilet. They're well able to soak a four square foot area quickly and with very little effort, and not a one will admit responsibilty. They have taken to blaming the dog.
Short of attaching a scope to help them with their shoddy aim, I am at a loss. I know some guys pee sitting down and was thinking maybe my sons are still young and impressionable enough to be persuaded that sitting down while peeing is really the done thing, the latest, and very cool, they're just a bit ahead of the pack.
After complaining to one of my friends about this, and wondering aloud whether my plan might work, she enlightened me to a rule that has been instated in Germany that obliges men to sit while they pee. While it hasn't been enacted into law yet (I don't think), it has become a condition of rental in at least one building. The owner was so fed up with replacing bathroom radiators that were rusting due to regular dousing with urine that he made it a requirement! And amazingly enough, the guys are going along with it! The Germans have even come up with a little device called the Spuk to help enforce the demand.
About 1.8 million toilets are already haunted by Spuk, or Spook. For a tenner, you can attach the Spook to the underside of the toilet seat, and it silently endures sitting visitors. But anyone trying to lift the seat and attempt to stand and urinate (known as “Stehpinkeln“) should be prepared for the ghost’s wrath.
If the seat is lifted, the Spook declares in a stern female tone:
"Hello, what are you up to? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a big mess..."
Another has the voice of Helmut Kohl. and says:
“Excuse me, but there’s a penalty for peeing while standing in this house,” “You’d better not risk any problems and sit down!”
Yet another model declares in the voice of Chancellor Gerhard Schroder:
“Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don’t want any trouble, you’d best sit down,”
The American prototype is slated to use this phrase:
“Don’t you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who’s behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha.”
Other versions start roaring like a lion or use the soothing voice of a female flight attendant:
“We welcome you aboard Never Come Back Airlines,” the voice says. “We’d like to ask our male passengers in particular to sit down, buckle up and refrain from smoking.”
If you think I am joking, you can google this for yourself, for every word is true. So what do you guys think, will this product take off outside of Germany? Would you be able to enforce a new rule like this? If you are a guy, would you go along with it? I think my husband is too old to be taught any new tricks, but maybe I can hoodwink the boys.
How about you?
4 people like this
9 responses
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
30 Apr 07
Knowing my partner's penchant for gadgets and gizmos he would probably deliberately life the seat just to set the darn thing off. LOL I have given up trying to make him understand that his aim needs to improve, but I did have a toilet seat with a target on it for a while.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
If he has a penchant for gizmos, maybe he would alter it to yell at you when you sit down. What would it say, mmn...(cue airaid siren)"Incoming!". Something like that, anyhow :-)
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
It is true, seriously! I would put in the link but I've heard external links get money deducted from earnings.
As far as the rusty radiators, that also comes from a very reliable source. Her sister lives in Germany, and she has a house full of sprinklers, plus a carpeted (yikes!) bathroom, so the subject comes up!
1 person likes this
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
29 Apr 07
I think it sounds like an awesome idea.
I had my partner (now 27) sitting to pee for a while, it was easy to do too - if i ever saw pee not in the toilet where it was supposed to be, i refused to clean it & made him clean it himself.
You can imagine how he felt about cleaning up all his own pee. He ended up sitting for a while so he didn't have to clean up after himself (typical male) - then i think he went back to standing, but he has now got his aim back!
I still do it now though, i refuse to clean the toilet if it's covered in pee coz he should know better & being the age he is, he should be capable of getting it in the toilet!
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
I make my little one clean up the seat, but for god's sake, it gets everywhere. It's like they all have special attachements such as you put on watering cans to diffuse the flow because it flies everywhere. I can't fathom how they make such a mess.
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
30 Apr 07
Spuk sound like a great idea for those guys that can't aim. I never had that problem with my boys, maybe because I made them take turns cleaning the bathroom. One of my friends confided in me that her husband kneeled down in front of the toilet to pee, and he taught their boys to do it too. I thought it was pretty strange, but she didn't have a clean up problem either. She said that her father-in-law taught the boys to do that out of respect for the women in the house. I've never heard of anyone else doing that.
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
Kneeled down? That is a new one to me, as well. I can just about imagine what that would do to knee caps if they were a little loose in their sockets. It would be an awfully funny site to walk in on by mistake, though.
1 person likes this
@Hart57 (359)
• United States
29 Apr 07
How funny! I don't think a law like that would pass in many states here at home. I wonder if it will pass in Germany?
Unless forced to by law, most men and especially boys are not going to sit down. Ancient traditions die hard. Anyway, this problem could be resolved if us men would simply be more considerate. While it is impossible to avoid splashing while doing the business, it can be wiped away (with a tissue!)upon leaving the facilities.
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
I think those German women have the situation well in hand if they have sold 1.8 million of the things. They also have stickers on all the public toilets telling men they are required to sit down to pee. Funny stuff.
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
7 May 07
I was amazed when I read your post. I hadn't heard anything like it. We don't need one of those in our home. My girlfriend comes up with unique ways to solve problems. When she started to notice that someone wasn't hetting the inside of the bowl she started to complain like you did. And of course no one would admit to who was doing it. Being that she is a fair minded person she made each one of the boys clean up the mess. Each boy would have to take turns cleaning up the mess. After a couple of weeks doing this she noticed that some how their aim got better.
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
7 May 07
You can count on me for the amazing and strange!
I seem to have stealth pee'ers and 'oops. I forgot to shut the door, the dog must have done it.
I have a susupicion this is an issue for quite a few households and thank god we don't have carpet in the bathroom!
@ArsonCuff (3114)
• United States
9 Jun 08
I won't sit to pee and in my early jobs of youth I cleaned many a bathroom, men and women's and women were just as nasty leaving pee on the toilets and or used tampons. HOWEVER, I would also like to direct your attention to an article I wrote entitled: Why Men Pee On The Toilet Instead Of In It.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/779305/why_men_pee_on_the_toilet_instead_of.html?cat=60
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
30 Apr 07
How wonderful. I no longer have this problem no males here except when my brother, nephew and uncles visit which isn't often. But i think it is a great idea. i have a friend who is raising her grandson and when she was training him she trained him to sit down.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
29 Apr 07
knowing the menfolk in my family,if i bought one of those,they'd probably pee on it purposely and short it out.just out of spite LOL
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
I think my husband would be very spiteful, too. At least if he was aiming at the Spook, maybe he'd manage to get some of his wee into the toilet in the process. wWhat a concept for them!
1 person likes this









