An old poem I wrote on magic
By scammerwear
@scammerwear (1433)
Singapore
May 9, 2007 11:22am CST
This is an old poem I wrote on magic (all rights reserved :P ) Please leave me a comment :)
Untitled
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Lured and Blinded by the illusion of power
I came upon a delicate flower
When asked of its name it answered in riddles
A voice that haunts like a thousand fiddles
In madness I seek to posses that creation
Reached out to seize it from its foundation
Only to be pricked by countless thorns
Guarding the flower like demon horns
A wild rage ignited within my soul
Driving a search for a means to foul
The protectors of my treasure from their duty
Crushing them with no mercy or pity
The search became journeys many
Till I thought of myself as a loony
To act upon such petty desires
Neglecting all my worthy aspires
Wiser I returned to mundane affairs
Surprised to find a lady fair
Awaiting my return with a smile
Leaping into my arms in a pile
She has never since spoken a word to me
But everything about her is plain to see
Her scent is that which had driven my obsession
The flower named Magic my life my passion
2 responses
@MrNiceGuy (4139)
• United States
9 May 07
I don't really like the subject matter personally, but I really liked your choice of words. Nice descriptions, but it seemed like you tried too hard to follow the rhyme scheme, resulting in some awkward word choices and approximate rhymes that throw it off. Most of the best poetry is free verse I think, because it is just that, free.
1 person likes this
@scammerwear (1433)
• Singapore
10 May 07
You caught me good there MrNiceGuy hehe, I'll work on those points when I write again. Thank you!
@peaceful (3294)
• United States
9 May 07
Excellent,my friend... and complete in it's telling your story as well... Allow me to share mine:
Hour Thirteen
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Welcome home, She Whispers
and sweetly begins to kiss
and caress my Soul
from the Inside out
I feel an infinitesimal
chastising pin-prick,
(well deserved) being
overwhelmed by eons of
rapturous habit
Daylight is no adequate
paramour
An Hour not to be found
on any clock
Has come...
Loving my Lover
The Night
1 person likes this
@scammerwear (1433)
• Singapore
10 May 07
That is an interesting way to describe the night, thank you peaceful!



