Do you prefer traditional wedding gifts, or an alternative?

Traditional wedding gifts, or a honeymoon registry - Nowadays many couples are leaving behind the traditional wedding gifts and opting for things such as a honeymoon registry. Do you like, or is it tacky?
United States
May 9, 2007 9:06pm CST
Nowadays many couples are leaving behind the traditional wedding gifts and opting for alternatives, such as a honeymoon registry. For example, my brother and his fiance' have decided to have a Kauai registry to fund their honeymoon to Hawaii in June, requesting that if friends want to give a gift, it can be $25 towards airfare, and/or $25 towards a hotel, and so on. Do you like this idea, or do you think it is tacky? It is okay with me, but my wife thinks it is rude!
10 people like this
26 responses
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
10 May 07
I don't think that I would ask family and friends to give me money towards my honeymoon or hotel room. I would make several options open to them so that they could decide what they would like to do. I don't think giving your guest several options is a bad idea as long as it is done in the right way.
4 people like this
@roniroxas (10574)
• Philippines
10 May 07
i think it is okay to suggest to friends what kind of gift you want to receive. it is better to give something you know they will like or they will use than to give the traditional gift then not use it at all, or the worst might giveto others as a recycled gift.
@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
10 May 07
i agree with you. what's the point of giving traditional gifts if the one who will receive it will not use it at all.
@roniroxas (10574)
• Philippines
10 May 07
yes it will be just a waste if you insist something traditional but the couples are not interested.
2 people like this
@gegegelay (934)
• Philippines
10 May 07
When I get married, it doesn't really matter what kind of gifts my husband and I receive. But alternatives are something new so I guess it's also okay. A honeymoon registry is also nice.. actually one of my Aunts are already planning to give me and my future husband a trip to Singapore, haha.. nice ;)
@mummymo (23707)
10 May 07
I do not see the problem with this idea runnungman - I mean what is the point in spending a lot of money on a present that the couple don't really need and will never appreciate when you can put the money you would have spent towards something they would really enjoy! Good for them! xxx
3 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
10 May 07
Hi Runningman, Well as long as the people that are getting married and have everything that they will need then I think that this would be a great present to give them as it is something that they would like so I do not think that it s tacky at all, as if you think about it then it will be a lot cheaper if the guests did this for them.
@derek_a (10897)
10 May 07
Things are certainly changing when people get married. We had a list of things we needed and I must say it was of value to us. We just had a "small" honeymoon and to be honest, it could have been anywhere - it didn't matter to us. I feel that once a honeymoon or holiday is gone, it is gone forever, but practical gifts for the home tend to be there forever, or until they wear out. I don't know whether it is rude or not to tell the guests which sort of gifts to buy, but I guess it is up the the families concerned at the end of the day.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (116456)
• United States
10 May 07
I do not think the couple should tell people that they have to do this as a gift option, but it is an okay alternative. When my daughter got married, her photographer suggested making them a gift registry as well. People could get frames, etc. or a gift certificate, and that was much appreciated. I guess it depends on how the alternative is presented.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
11 May 07
I think it is fine- But I think that somewhere on the invite it should say gifts are welcome also. A lot of older folks have a problem with this- They don’t want to give a gift of money- I think it takes away from the fun of the wedding shower. I’ve been invited to a few that asked for gift cards to Lowe’s or Home Depot- they were building a house- LOL I had no problem with it- Saved me time of picking out something for them and them time from returning it because they didn’t like it!
• United States
11 May 07
You have brought up an excellent point that I too thought of, and that is giving people the option of either giving you the traditional type of gift, or going along with the honeymoon registry or whatever alternative is being asked.
1 person likes this
@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
11 May 07
I love the idea of a gift registry for anything. It's so much easier than having to come up with the perfect gift. I've never heard of a honeymoon registry, but I think it's a good idea. I know a lot of couples these days are already living together before they get married and they don't need another toaster, or some other standard wedding gift like that.
• United States
11 May 07
Having a gift registry at Target or somewhere does make it easier to shop for someone. My brother and his fiance' have lived together for a few years now, so they do have about everything they need already. What a nice way to get that special trip to Hawaii!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
10 May 07
Well we also had a similar thing too because we were living in Samoa at the time and had our wedding in New Zealand where the majority of our family were. We thought it would be easier to rquest for $$ as a gift instead of having to lug all the gifts back to Samoa (considering we were only allowed 20 kilos each for luggage! I thought it was a rude idea at first too, but after discussing it with some of the elders of our family, they said that it was fine. As long as its presented nicely and not in a rude way. I can't remember the wording off by heart though but family were nice about it. We still received a few gifts like kitchen stuff and dinnerware which were too heavy to take back with us, so we ended up leaving it all with my parents and or sister.
2 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
This type of thing is all new to me personally, but I can see where it would make sense, especially since my brother already has all of the things they need for their house.
1 person likes this
• India
10 May 07
yah i think its quite rude...gift means not only a item or a thing..when we gift something to someone who dear and near to us its means we love them a lot...and there are huge emotions along with that gift. gift is a surprise...when we receive a gift to someone, we don't know in the wrapper what is the exact gift...!! and that is the most sweet feelings for me...and also a surprise.. so if you are requesting to your friends or relatives what you want as a gift,i think you have loose that sweet feelings....there is no emotions,love,sentiment.... its only a give n take relation...
2 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
My wife would agree strongly with you that it is tacky and a little bit rude to tell people what they should give you for a wedding present. To put in a good word for my brother though, he did say that this was an option only if someone wanted to get them a gift, but they were not expecting any presents, and you could go traditional too.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10395)
• United States
10 May 07
Actually, I think that is pretty good!!!! :) One, I would normally spend more than $25 on a wedding present and then wrapping costs more. So if they ask for $25 toward their honeymoon....I am saving money and doing what they ask. Two, most couples love together now before getting married. So, getting them the traditional gifts of a toaster, towels, and dinner plates is usually not needed anymore. However, honeymoons can be very costly and because of it, more and more people are not taking that time to get away together. So, I think it is a great idea for them to be able to ask people to help them pay for the honeymoon. And honestly, I bet I would still contribute more than what they asked for. :) Oh! And the best thing about this is....I would not have to go shopping and worry about them not liking it, not needing it, or someone else getting the same thing.
2 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
That is a very good and long answer to a kinda short question. To clarify, they didn't ask for a specific amount per say, but I would think around $50 to $100 is reasonable, meaning I could give them $25 towards airfare as well as $25 towards the hotel and more if I so desire.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 May 07
i still prefer traditional but with minimal innovations like touch of themes and stuff. let's cross the bridge once we're there
2 people like this
@Divzs18 (442)
• India
10 May 07
I may like to accept any kind of gift which is given with whole heartdly.Since gifts are gifts than be it traditional or else modern...
2 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
Well if I were to get married I would choose traditional wedding gifts like household items and gift cards to a store. Something like that. I'd pay for my own honeymoon. I don't like the idea and I do think it's pretty tacky. I would be offended if someone asked me to give them money. I am with your wife.
2 people like this
@ashar123 (2359)
• India
10 May 07
I would like to have both of them. Honeymoon trip gift from someone, that will be just great and a good start of a whole new life to come after marriage.
2 people like this
@gp2sbeta (275)
• Brazil
10 May 07
Traditional or alternative? I prefer a creative gift. Then, it can be traditional or alternative. A important choose is to surprise gift, unbilivible.
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
10 May 07
I actually like the idea. It would make giving someone a gift easier for both myself and them. I wouldn't have to shop for a gift that they may not like. And they wouldn't have to excahnge or return a gift that they didn't like. So it would be a win win situation for both of us.
2 people like this
10 May 07
Weddings cost so much these days that I feel that if people would rather have some money towards a honeymoon or gifts of their choice, then it makes sense
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 May 07
I personally think that it's not rude to ask for alternatives. On the contrary, that's just being practical.