infedility

It's such that when a fair is born, don't blow it. Stop it not by creating another one. Yes, if she knows his husband has an affair to another woman, she should confirm it and talk about the plans if they really mean to end up. Wrong decisions and miscues plays a great role in ruining a lot marriages. So, make sure to have enough communication and transparency in between. Cheating is not resolved by another cheater. Remember this always and we know that all problems can always be settled if you really will.

What do the children want...have you asked them??? I do not agree with the extramarital affairs by either of you but it is not my place to jusge you or him.... The best thing for the children is the concern here or should be....they did not have the option to pick their parents and while you and him can not seem to work out your difficulties and I personally would be seeking a divorce if you have not already.... If he has been gone for 10 years then the children are probably old enough to make a decision about whether or not they wish to have a relationship with their father without reprisal from either of you...they are a product of your relationship together....and should know that they are not the reason for the divorce and that both parents love them and support them. That's my 2 cents worth....I hope that you understand what I have said....I in no way meant to offend you; I just want to temporarily be the voice of the children...I was raised by my mother who was in a similar situation...she spent years talking badly about my father and keeping us away from him...all this did was make me want to find him even more.... Then many years later....I married my husband who had a child by another woman....that I have raised as my own for almost 20 years....he was the focus of my husbands concerns not the failed relationship with his biological mother....it is one of the things that attracted me to him was his active parental role in his son's live....now this young man and I are extremely close...I feel honored to be called his Mom... I am just trying to help you take the raw emtions out of it and to focus on the best thing for your children...yours and his.... Best wishes in dealing with this most difficult situation...

First off, I wouldn't have cheated to get revenge. Two wrongs don't make a right. I've been cheated on and it's devistating. That is what broke up my first marriage. He cheated. He's a bad husband, but what type of dad is he? A child should know their parents, even if they aren't the best role models. The kids are old enough that they know who their dad is and will be upset if they aren't allowed to see him. The problems between the husband and wife aren't the kids' problems. The only time I think a child should be kept from it's parents is in the case of abuse. They aren't pawns and shouldn't be kept from a parent because of problems between them. JMO

Yes the father has the right to see his children, despite his sins agiant the family but if I were in the situatiion I cannot let himsee my children. It could only add insult to injury. I cant put myself in such situation, I hope it wont happen to me. It could take time for me for the issue to sink in at first I know there will be denial and then maybe I will able to accept the sad truth. I cant afford to talk to him at first, he should stay away form me coz the sight of him makes me want to kill him.

Retaliation is not a good plan, you ought to have laid down the law, told him that he has blown it, leave the relationship with the upper hand, keep your pride, self respect and strength. Never retaliate it only brings you down to his lever, you have no right to remain upset at him if you have done the same you are a hypercrit. (Not directed at you but the situation.) Your parents may have paid for everything but this is not about material posessions this is about your living, breathing children. If you stop him seeing them the only ones who get hurt are the children, they have a right to see their dad, they may choose not to see him when the are old enough. That would sting him more then if you stop him. But either way it should be the children's decision to make, they will resent you if you make it for them.

I think the father has the right to see his children even though things are complicated between the two of you. It's actually hard to deal with that type of person. I will definitely feel hate towards him but I know I can't fight back because I've cheated on him too. I need to consult an attorney in times like these. We need to settle things legally.

That is why it is really bad to make revenge by doing his own mistakes in life. Doing what he did to you even made you even worse since in our culture it much more worse for ladies to have extra marital affairs. That may sound too one sided but that is reality.

I would of throwed him out as soon as I found out that he was cheating yet alone have another family, he would be out the door and good riddens to him. but as for him wanting to see his kids by law you really cant refuse him to see them. I say good luck to you and there is better out there.

You cant fix the wrong he did by commiting one yourself. Now you have put yourself equal in wrongdoing with him. You have lost your standing as the victum.

let him see his kids....he has a right with this kids not unless you file a divorce and a sole custody. you have a valid reason to do that. just don't make the matter worst by having an affair too....it will only ruin your case to get all the rights for your kids...