MOMS ~ I need advice!!!
By MySpot
@MySpot (2600)
United States
October 23, 2006 9:34am CST
I have been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years, but now my children are school-aged. My husband makes decent money and plenty to pay our bills and still have extra spending/saving money. There is no question to what the obvious 'next step' for me is ~ getting a job or at least furthering my education. I could possibly qualify for a grant for college, which would ensure a better paying job in the future. I want to relieve my husband of some of our financial burden and become a more financially stable family, so we can afford to buy a house and send our kids to college.
I'm feeling a little torn because so much is going to change besides residual income... from our schedules to our quality time together. I am very much a home-body. I love being home with my family and pets! I have always felt fullfilled at home. I am a good wife and Mother... I spend quality one-on-one time with my kids; I give the hubby massages and wash his back and feet after a hard day of work; I keep my house clean and I provide good hot meals, emotional support, and motherly/wifely love on a daily basis. I'm also the sole care-giver to our pets.
I guess what I'm asking is: How much of an adjustment is it to go from home-life to work-life and how hard is it to maintain a balance between the two? What suggestions do you have for this type of transition? What is the best advice you could give me? Does a home-body/stay-at-home Mom ever feel satisfied and content working?
I think I'm a bit old-fashioned because I feel that a woman can contribute just as much without monetary help... we are responsible for 'holding down the fort', which takes a lot of patience, hard work, and mental and emotional stability. I read that a stay-at-home Mom's value, if we earned an income for all we do, is 3 times what the average worker makes. Statistics have shown that it can actually cost a couple more money to have both of them in the workforce, between gas, lunches, childcare, ect. than to have only one working partner.
Please share your advice, opinions and experiences~~
1 person likes this
3 responses
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
I was not a stay at home Mum but circumstances didn't allow it either. However we had a farm and so my husband was there for our child plus I did put in quality time with them when I was home. I did enjoy my job but also knew that if I wasn't working then we could not keep our farm, so it was more about a lifestyle choice for the family. I wish I had been in your situation.
The things you need to work out are the extra costs you will incur if you either go back to further your education or get a job. For example, who will be with your children during the school holidays if you are working? Will you still be able to get away for family holidays? How much extra will it cost you for fuel, lunch, childcare, clothing, make-up, quick meals because you are tired and so on.
You are contributing to your family by being there for your children and your husband as well as not being rushed off your feet because you too have had a hectic day at work. Some women (and men too for that matter) are happy not to be out in the workforce, so if you and your husband agree that this is the best option for your family why go back to work outside the home. If you do, then you will also need the support and assistance from the whole family to do the housework, prepare meals, lunches etc. Would they be willing to help with these things, so that you can still have some quality time as a family?
If you do feel the need to "do something", then have you thought about doing some sort of volunteer work? Alternatively, are you interested in selling through eBay or something like that? That will not make you a fortune, but it could provide a little extra for special occasions.
2 people like this
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Doesn't sound like you really need advice. Sounds more like you want a cheering squad for the great job you are doing as a stay-at-home mom. Well, you go girl! If it ain't broke, for God's sake, don't mess it up and fix it. Look around for some fun stuff to do while you continue to do the things you obviously love and your family loves. You don't have to try to measure your worth on an economic chart. You can buy a housekeeper, a maid, a driver, etc. but you can't buy all the love of a wife and mother that you put into making your home what it is to your family. Take a class, start a home business, get your feet wet a little bit at a time, but don't give up what you have. So many women would give anything for the luxury you enjoy.
2 people like this
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Consider yourself lucky. You don't HAVE to work.
Have you considered spending your time volunteering instead? A lot of volunteer opportunities are very flexible, and you can work out a schedule that works for you. it's very rewarding AND think of the good you can do and the example you can set for others.
chances are, if you have been out of the workforce for 12 years, the jobs you qualify for are going to be menial, trivial, and won't pay much.
Be thankful you have the choice. I have 2 college degrees, get paid well, but i HAVE to work and i HATE my job. You don't HAVE to go to some crappy job every day.
besides, the money might not be worth it when you add in the expense of gas to get to work, a work appropriate wardrobe that you will need to purchase and maintain, lunches away from home, and not having time to get things done around the house.
