Help!!! My kids are too lazy.

Philippines
June 4, 2007 6:24am CST
I had always been a hardworking person even when Im still a kid. I dont like see anything dirty or messy that is why, nobody needs to tell me what to do. But my kids didnt enherit this trait. They are too lazy and whenever I tell them to do something, they would even argue between themselves who should do it and why should this kid be the one to do the task.
7 people like this
22 responses
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Mine too, I have to push and push. We threaten with them missing out on stuff or outings but they really dont care. They would prefer to go with out than clean there rooms or dishes. Go figure I wish I knew the answer if you find one please pass it on.
4 people like this
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
I hope we will find the answers here. Im really so upset with whats going on. Maybe kids wont care even if we threaten them because we didnt mean what we say most of the time. I would tell them sometimes, You will never go with me to the mall again, but when they try to look pitiable when I try to leave them in the house, I still cant resist them. I would still take them with me.
3 people like this
• Canada
4 Jun 07
Maybe that's part of the problem...the kids know that they will eventually get their way. I don't have kids, but I've spent a lot of time babysitting and helping to raise my nephews and niece. One thing I always made sure was to stand my ground, no matter how much they screamed or whined or put on the pitiful face. It became a battle of wills, to see who could give in first. But once they knew they couldn't manipulate me, they started to listen to me. I think kids can be real master manipulators so we have to be firm and stand our ground with them. Once they see that weak spot, bingo! They gotcha! lol
@youless (99528)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jun 07
There may be something that you ignore. That is if you work hard for the housework, sometimes it'll make others become lazy. As you have finished many housework, so it's not important to do anything. I don't know how old your kids are. I suggest you make it like a game. You have to tell them how you will appreciate if they can help you do some housework. Everybody should be responsible to their part of the home. At first you can ask your children to clean their room. Do it like a competition. It's better that you have kids as they always like do better than the other.
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
You got a very big point there. Maybe I work so hard that they feel like they wont have to do anything. Ill try your suggestion. I will give assign them to their own posts inside the house. Ummm, maybe rewarding the best performer would work, too.
1 person likes this
@avelnrm (239)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
when my brother, sisters, and i were still young, we used to blame each other for making our house dirt and messy. we were always scolded by our father who was very good in cleaning and keeping things. but as we grew older and older, we already felt ashame if our house was messy. now, doing chores is already an instinct and there is already cooperation in our family. i hope your kids will learn someday.
4 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
4 Jun 07
This is very common nowadays sweets - more kids are like this now than when I was little - i would have gotten into trouble for acting like this! Have you thought of setting up a rota - depending on the kids ages they should all have some chores to do like wiping down the table, taking the washing to the laundry, setting the table, washing the dishes! Once they get used to the idea that they each have their own chores to do it may help stop the bickering and help them see other things that need done! xxx
3 people like this
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
Yeah Ive done that and they keep on complaining. They act like they are myLotting. Giving reasons why they shouldnt be the ones to do that and this and blah blah...They would even complain about thinking they are having bigger jobs than the rest of the household. Ohhh its so hard to figure out kids of today. During our times, we usually fear our parents. Their word is like a law that needs to be done as soon as possible.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
4 Jun 07
I know exactly what you mean sweetheart! In my case it is a bit easier since they are 5 and 13 - the younger one can't do the same things as the older but they both still have set chores and the more they complain the more chores I add! lol I know that may sound mean but it worked with my eldest! He used to complain that I treated him like a slave -all he was expected to do was tidy his room and the living room before he went to bed, after complaining he got the dishes to do in the evening and still he complained, once he was given the chore of mopping living room and kitchen floors, only once a week mind, he stopped complaining and just got on with it! If the chores aren't done properly or there is any moaning , Money is deducted from their pocket money! If they are extra good, do a good job and don't complain they get a bonus! Works for me but then I suppose it depends on how many you have and what age they are! Think that the kids today are more pampered and less respectful as a result! xxxx
2 people like this
• China
4 Jun 07
don't worry its not only you who has a problem also my auntie's children are lazy...generation now change and thats what im afraid if i get married and have children too... maybe it help when they were still 3 years old we need to teach them how to do things so if they will grow up they will not be lazy because if they will be 5 and up its already too late to teach them.
• Canada
4 Jun 07
I agree too that the generations have gotten lazier. Kids today are raised on computers, TV and video games, so they're not as physically active. Being sedentary makes you not want to get up and do much...so I also put some of the blame for laziness of TV and computers.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Jun 07
I can't stand lazy people too. You really need to nip the problem in the blood. If you don't drill the right things in them when young, they are never going to learn when old. Try explaining to them the rationale behind what you are asking them to do.
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
I got your point and its so good. Yeah Ill try that instead of arguing with them and ending up so angry most of the time, I will just have to explain the logic in what Im trying to do. Most of the time they could get a good spank from me because Im so annoyed by their attitude. Ill change the approach from now on. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Jun 07
;-)
1 person likes this
@banta78 (4334)
• India
4 Jun 07
I feel you need to be polite with your kids but firm when it comes down to getting the tasks done. Have patience it is a virtue tell your kids why doing housework is important like a story of good hardworking people who maybe icons in your area or in fable so that your kids could slowly relate to them and be like them. Teach them to priortise their work and sort out who will do which task when or rotaste the tasks among them. Talk to their teachers too so that you are on same wavelength in this regard. And ensure that your kids are in good company .
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
Uhuh! Very good point. I should try that too. I would try to make it educational. Telling stories about good, hardworking stories would definitely work Im sure because as an adult, I usually read stories of success and they inspire me so much that even when Im already a hardworker, I got motivated to work even harder because I wanted to achieve what they had achieved. Thanks for tips.
1 person likes this
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
5 Jun 07
You are not alone in this. I am like you who detest mess and untidiness. It is very difficult for my children to follow an instruction and they just prefer to be lazy. Even screaming out your lungs at them would not make them budge... Recently, I've switched to talking to them nicely and having a reward system, I think it is starting to work... I think we should just sit down and talk to them and ask them why are they not listening to us.... Good Luck! :D
@EvanHunter (4028)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Well I grew up being a wild child I was the baby but everyone had left home by the time I hit my teenage years so I grew up pretty independant and doing whatever I wanted. I probably smothered my kids too much now my oldest son is going to be 18 in October and he still wants me to hold his hand for everything. I think sometimes our kids can grow up to be complete opposites from us and in my case it was my own fault because I knew what I got away with when I was a kid so I smothered them instead of letting them get out and learn a few more things on the way.
2 people like this
@Coolgeth (1215)
• India
5 Jun 07
How old your kids are? All the family has the same problem with their childs..They will understood when they grow up..Good luck...
1 person likes this
@Divzs18 (442)
• India
4 Jun 07
I'm single never married till yet but I can tell u that I too didn't at all like lazy kind of people. My brother is also a kind of person who always do things when told to do so. He too never move his hand of his own. I always used to push him up to do his own things but now I feel that he has improved a lot. My mom says that when it comes to a person than only he/she learns to do things properly.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 07
I have to say I was the same way growing up, my mom would fuss at me and my sis to help her out. She finally made a chore board for us, and she wouldn't allow us to do anything else until our chores were done. She would rotate the chores between us so neither one of us was doing the same thing more than once a week. it seemed to work and then after awile of it we wouldn't even complain we knew what had to be done and when to do it.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I would say that your kids are pretty normal, hersmart. As a rule, most kids are lazy. We have to train them to be smart. Even then, some never get the message. It is very rare for kids to start out neat.
@maehan (1445)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Ha ha ha, me too! They will argue among themselves that who is the who mess it. This toy is not taken out by me. This book is yours. Blar blar blar. In the end, I am the one who help them to clear the mess. They take granted for the mess and keep on mess up the whole place. Till I move from Singapore to US. The place that I stay is much smaller than before. If it is messy, it looks like a gabage place. I am so angry that when I clean up the place, I just simply throw away those stuff that they did not keep. They was totally shocked ask me why do I do that? I told them that's not mine and I do not need it so I throw. Thereafter, they refuse to let me keep stuff when I volunteer. Hippy!
1 person likes this
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
If you are really a hardworking person even you are still a kid, it doesn't mean that you have a hardworking kids. I have no idea if some of your attitude will be inherited by your kids but I can only say that discipline plays a big role. You still have to tell your child what to do. You should show them an example. It is not automatic, it takes time.
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
I am not married yet but I know this will work in the future :)
• United States
26 Jun 07
My kids were so lazy they would not change their clothes when they came home from school and put on old clothes to play in..then when their clothes got worn out and nasty looking they would complain that they had no good clothes..my kids did not live with me and there mother would not make them do this simple chore..change your clothes when you come home from school..something my mother made us do..and our clothes always looked clean and fresh..as she would launder and iron our clothes..as we could not wear tee shirts or blue jeans we had to wear a sports shirt and dress pants/dress for the girls..no jeans.. now the kids cut holes in the brand new expensive jeans..something that would have my mom putting patches on them..the irnon on kind? remember? well kids are lazy..sometimes inconsiderate and very rude to adults..sassy? my grandchildren are the worst mannered kids I have ever seen..they are worse then their parents..it serves my kids right having such children...my daughter always looks tired...poor thing..with a boy who is autistic and another boy who is almost like his absent father..and a daughter who is OK..but she is just like her mother..lol..well enough..what did we do to deserve such kids...????
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
21 Jun 07
First of all, a love for cleaning is not normally and inherited trait, even though it does happen. So you have to raise your children to clean from when they are very small. You have to take control of the situation and tell them what needs to be done. When I took care of my sisters six children, they were extremely lazy. When they got finished eating something they would toss the trash on the floor and their mother would clean up behind them. Me, I was not having it. They tried that I did do this crap with me too. So I started assigning rooms and each child was responsible for making sure that the room that they were assigned to was clean. Children have to be told what to do and if they do not obey then there needs to be consequences. But, you as a parent have to be consistant. If it is wrong one day, it hast to always be wrong and vice versa. Children can not thrive in confusion.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
21 Jun 07
For me it's good to have a proper distribution of labor in the house. I have experienced that too, nobody will care to wash dishes aftereating, fix the mess and everything. My eldest 14, will wash the dishes on MWFS, the second 12, will wash the dishes on TThFSun. Who's free on that day will clean the house. fetch water at after dinner, that's the time they'll do their assignments. That's their routine. On Saturdays, they'll wash the dirty clothes Only the little ones, coz I do the big ones. So on Sundays, we go to church, and I will do the cooking and cleaning. AFter that we stayed in the house and watched movies. Just a simple one.
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
21 Jun 07
I have the same very problems with my daughters. At least one has moved out, and I am anxiously waiting for the youngest to move out. I can ask for something to be done, when I shouldn't even have to ask. And then, it may be 3-4 days later before they have completed the task that I had asked to be done. I can't wait to reclaim my home, and only have to pick up after myself.
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Hello hersmart. I don't know how old your kids are. I can understand how frustrating it can be to instilled discipline on our little ones nowadays. I started teaching my girls when they we're both pre-schoolers. I provided a drawer for each of them so they can placed all their things and toys there. I also bought a lot of plastic boxes and put each kind of toys inside. Whenever they like to play, I only allowed them to get one box each time. Afterwards, they need to return everything back on the plastic box before they can get another one. I guess you can say that I'm fortunate that my girls are not messy children. They also help me to set up the table. My youngest daughter (only 6) even knows how to brew coffee for me. I always believe in teaching our children as early as possible. You should be firm and straight with your kids about a particular chore. Whoever among your children you instruct to do the chore, that kid should be the one to do it and not pass on to his/her other sibling.