Question about my 14 year old step daughter.

I think it's okay. I mean she already has a mother in her life so she doesn't need a mother figure. And even if she did, the aunt would be considered that. It's okay to befriend her. It may help her become a better person in the long run if you are able to talk to her as a friend and tell her what you think about situations. You may steer her in the right direction.

Well I think it is fine to be friends...but you have to be a role-model and disciplinarian too. You can't just be friends with children...they need advice and guidance and sometimes a strong hand to guide them in the right direction. I think that if she is spending that much time around you and your family ...you should act more like a mother figure too...

well it's good she's able to trust u but just don't overstep ur boundaries as a friend and a mother! u need to let her know that she can trust u, but if she acts up u will need to tell her dad! cause if u don't let her know she may be mad at u when something happens and u lose that trust with her!

Why on earth would you stop!. Sometimes is it is very difficult to be friends with step children as they can have a lot of resentments because their parents have split up. Friendship can deepen into love. You have made a great first step.

I really do not see anything wrong with this- Looks like she could use a good role model right now- so whether it be from a Friend or step mom- I think it’s ok- as long as she knows she has to follow rules and guidelines an doesn’t get special treatment from being a friend- I’m sure it is good for her- I know a lot of people say kids need parents not friends (parents) but this is different as she is not your child- but a step child- I say take whatever works- especially since she is doing better and staying out of trouble!

I think there is nothing wrong with being her friend. She has a mother and a father and will probaby resent anyone else coming in and trying to step up to that. SHe is at that age where things are just going to get crazier as the years go on. Having a trustworthy friend as an adult will come in handy. Who do you think she might turn to for help or advice if she is too afraid or embarassed to go to her parents? It will be especially good for her reationships with her brothers and sisters(your kids) to see the two of you guys being friends. I don't mean being friends as in trying to act cool and be cool so she will like you or anything. Just probaby being a friend as you are now. Having her best interests at heart and keeping a neutral eye on things. Good luck. The teenage years are not so fun.She is lucky to have a caring person like you there to lean on if ever she needs to.

I think at this age, you will never be a mom to her. I would continue to be her friend and try giving her direction. I would not keep secrets for her or anything, I would just try to keep her on the right track.

Please stay a friend. That is not to say that you, as the adult, should ignore the obvious, bust she need a safe place. Ground rules are important. Also don't push her for information about things with the rest of the family. If she wants to talk, let her. Make sure that you treat her equally the same as your children. That goes for the good and the bad.Be a good listener. This has worked well for me. Over the years my 23 year old stepdaughter has been able to feel comfortable with our relationship this way.