Would you just settle?
By touchnshine
@touchnshine (2821)
India
July 13, 2007 12:40pm CST
Went to lunch with some co workers yesterday and over heard one of the ladies we were eating with talk about her husband. I don't even remmber how we had gotten on the subject, but anyway, the way she described things with him came across as, she loved him but was just with him to be with him. She was pretty non chalant when talking about him, saying he was a ok father, an ok husband, decent provider, helped out some, but most of the time had to be told or asked to do what was right infront of him.
Anyway, I chimed in and wasn't meaning any disrespect with what I had said, but I told her it sounded like she wasn't all that happy, and that she sounded as if she had just kind of settled with him. She looked at me and didn't even flinch and responded by saying, I was right in saying that, and she did just "settle."
I guess its kind of like she maybe felt she couldn't do any better, and that this was justy the way her life was supposed to be, and she would just accept things for the way the were.
So my question to to others is, would you "just settle?" If you thought you couldn't do any better than what you had, with your spouse, would you just continue to take on the attitude "well I, put all the years in anyway with him/her, might not get any better, but might not get any worse, so I'll just stick with what I have.
Would you settle?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@angel_of_charm (4133)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
its sound like she's not really happy but she just wanna settle for good but the truth is she gotten herself into worse..i see thst thing as they rush their selves to get settled and have a famil..they didnt think twice the circumstances they are heading to..i just dont get many people who rather wants to stick on a relationship they know they arent supposed to be there..
if that was me, i wont get settled until i know what will happen next to us..i have to be rest assured that eveything will be at its place and well balance before i get into the thing called "marriage" i tell you i 'm 23 and i had been living in with my boyfriend for 5 years now but i never spoke about marriage and neither do him..because we knew we are happy but arent ready for the responsibilty to commit fully..everything has to be place in its right place before we get started with the commitments..why stick to someone you know you wont be happy with just to give way to your wants of getting settle..after all, it was all unfair for the husband because she wasnt happy with him and could eventually talk about it with friends over his back right..
2 people like this
@asahibza (388)
• Canada
14 Jul 07
Sometimes it is better to settle. One should always take the lesser of two evils. Unless the situations are extremely ugly, one should not take the extreme stand.
Of course differences have to be there. Better to adjust. Remember time is the the greatest healer. May be over time things will get better. This is more likely.
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
16 Jul 07
Yes, Priti, the harsh reality is that most of the couple feel so, they say...it is we (I) who is managing the affairs in the married life. Each of the partners feel that he/she is making more adjustments in life than the other partner.
(I feel you will might have the same feeling, once you enter into a wedlock)
@touchnshine (2821)
• India
19 Jul 07
Well no doubt it's a harsh reality .. but if we really love someone then we can happily make adjustments.
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
19 Jul 07
The type of relationship which that lady is sharing with her husband is shared by most of the married person in our society.do you think that in every marriage the woman is very happy.she always makes too much adjustments be it in anything.A woman in our society is expected to always give in a relationship.The monemnt she demands anything she is termed to be a selfish woman.Woman have to bear it all this in the name of our culture,society.not everyone can walk out.It requires guts & most of them settle in ther marriage like what you have said.
@KatieS (503)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I almost "settled" once, and so glad I didn't. I did feel like I would never find anyone better, but then realized if I didn't and just stayed single, I was still better off alone than settling anyway. I left him, met a wonderful man, and we're now married. I guess some people don't give themselves a chance to come across Mr./Mrs. Right!
@liyan97 (2127)
• Northern Mariana Islands
14 Jul 07
Hello touchnshine!
This is interesting because it hits a little close to home with me. I too have been in a relationship like that with my ex and U actually “settled” for two years with him, but then in the end I kept getting this overwhelming feeling telling me that I deserved better. I wish now that I would have listen to myself, because in the end he left me for some one else. This woman “settled” with his attitude and catered to his every whim apparently more that I had.
I am single now and although it may be hard at times to be alone and a single mom, I am just glad that I no longer have a feeling of “not being good enough”. He often made me feel that way, when he would ask for something even though it was right in front of him and moan about it if I didn’t hand it to him soon enough.
I know that when it comes down to matters of the heart, I will no longer “settle” for something knowing that I am more deserving of something better.
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