Killer Comebacks!!!

At work the other day, a young kid called me an "old guy". I said to him, "How'd you like to go home and tell your mama that you got your BUTT kicked by some 'old guy'?"

I am getting married some time in the next few months, Iwould like both of my parents to light a family candle for me TOGETHER. They are divorced, but they created me together. Mom likes the idea, but Dad will probably not agree to it. If he does not I plan to say the following. "If you two can get close enough to conceive a child, you can get close enough to light a family candle at my wedding."